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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy Steps on a Crack! (S03E03)

"Well, thank you for stopping in."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Maybe you can see Russ at the hospital."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Whoa-oh-oh..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"did he leave anything here?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Just some luggage."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's just... every time there's a family gathering,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And after Meemaw died, I think"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Russ ended up with the recipe."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's how Meemaw died."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"If you find the recipe, let us know."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It'd be great to carry on the tradition at the party."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Okay. - Come on, Pop."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Are these just buttons?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The only ingredient is "chunks.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Of what?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hey,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"they got oranges here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, no, these are just a bunch of Garfield heads."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Is it weird that we have to buy our food from a place"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What? No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hey, mister,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Take a feral bodega cat."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Out of business? Why?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And you know the Tooth Fairy won't come to this neighborhood"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"ever since I cheated on him."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Can I come in?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm unarmed, except for the arms I was born with,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and I'm not wearing a wire,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But that's my business!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"like go down these stairs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ma'am, that bit doesn't work without some kind of partition."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm kind of in the middle of something."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What's going on? Oh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm just doing what you told me to do."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Okay, I get that you want to blame me,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but I didn't tell you to do this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, really?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""It's 2016. Women can run cults.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wrong and wrong, Kimmy!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"'Cause they can't, and, also, it's 2017 now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, it was 2016 when I said it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I got a compound. I wrote my scripture."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You got child hus-whats?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, you're such a tool!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No! Not that! That!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I saw you, Jasper!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wait. Where's all the firewood?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So gross!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I never told you to kidnap a bunch of boys."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ugh! Why would I want to be with a bunch of skinny virgins"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"who lie about showering?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I didn't lie. I-I showered."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Uh, when's lunch?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I spend 80% of my day making sandwiches,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"because lizard god forbid"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"they learn how to put peanut butter on bread."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Okay, I remember us making our own beans."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's easier if I just do it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Is there something educational you two want to watch?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And no screens until you finish your drawings of Jeebus and Gorp."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, I'm supposed to be happy now, too?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm just saying this isn't working. You're miserable."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why don't you just go out there and surrender?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Cults is the only thing I've ever cared about,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"'cause I'm gonna do one thing right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, my gosh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, Gretchen."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Someone could really get hurt."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm the one that called the FBI,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and I'm gonna go down in flames."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and Mommy needs a nap."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Boy, someone was worried about Africa not having any mayonnaise."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""Meemaw's secret corn pudding recipe.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What am I supposed to do with this, Russ?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, God, you are so lucky you don't have to deal with this stuff."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I said I'd do anything to make your family happy,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and giving them the recipe could earn us some goodwill"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"that we can use later on,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"There's got to be a way I can have my cake and eat it, too."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But, is that the expression? I don't really eat cake."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"How can I give them the corn pudding"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"without giving them the recipe?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, my gosh. Are you serious, Gretchen?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm not letting the first female cult leader..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Do we have any batteries?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Me and Zach found a bees' nest in the attic we want to throw them at."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hey, where's my sweatshirt?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Maybe look in the laundry! - The interrupting needs to stop."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm not going down in history as a joke,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"the first female judge,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and no one laughed at Trixie Monroe,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"the first female clown."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"This isn't about you being a woman, Gretchen."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Women can do anything a man can do,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"even pee standing up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Sure, it makes a mess,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And guess what. She's a man."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Turns out, I didn't wear it better than "Sulangee Kuhnowless," Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The only place that published anything from my scripture is The New Yorker,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I got to blow it all up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I mean"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kimmy thinks she could do it better than me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I don't want to do that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You think you're so tough,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm gonna go out in a blaze of glory like all the greats..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Koresh, Jones, Knievel."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- The drawstring went inside again. - What happened to the knot?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Get a safety pin and deal with it, Jasper!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm gonna build a bomb. Give me ten minutes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ten minutes. Sure, I'll just..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Look, elephants!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The elephant is surprisingly sneaky."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"They can communicate using infrasound."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, unbelievable,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"that Kimmy just walks off and leaves me"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, Lord."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"My rash is tasting more and more like jelly,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"which can't be a good sign."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I ate... uh, nobody."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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