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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Cheddar (S03E03)

"I didn't cancel my trip because I was worried"
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"you would burn my house down."
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"And I'm just afraid and just..."
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"Wow, that was weird; I said, like, multiple"
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"real things consecutively, yeah."
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"Felt weird but good. Are you proud of me?"
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"What do you think, Cheddar? Huh?"
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"Right, sorry!"
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"Attention, everyone!"
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"Ooh, are you finally growing a mustache?"
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"No, you know I can't do that,"
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"He died a year ago; he was so rich,"
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"he had a whole room in his house just to eat in."
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"You mean like a dining room?"
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"Now, just because I'm definitely rich now"
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"doesn't mean I'm gonna forget my roots."
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"Friendship is crap. I want a Ducati Monster 821."
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"All right, Rosa gets a motorcycle."
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"Oh, cool. I want a fast sports car."
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"Come on. You can be honest."
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"Oh, I'm too nervous to open it. Sarge, you do it."
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"Okay."
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"It's stock. One million shares!"
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"Of Blockbuster Video stock."
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"- Ohh. - What? Is that bad?"
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"I still have a Blockbuster card!"
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"Mapping, mapping, mapping, mapping,"
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"What's going on there, buddy?"
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"before the LASIK surgery goes poorly"
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"You'll have some vision impairment for a few hours,"
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"Plus, they're gonna give you some of those sweet-ass"
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"Robocop sunglasses."
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"Those are blind people sunglasses."
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"Captain. What are you doing here?"
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"Thought you took the day off to pack for your big trip,"
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"that it only takes one minute to pack?"
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"Cheddar's regular dog sitter is ill,"
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"and the heat's out in my house,"
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"to visit Kevin in Paris."
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"Sir, you can't just cancel your trip."
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"You guys haven't seen each other in months."
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"How about this: Amy and I"
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"will look after your house while you're gone."
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"I thought you two were watching Ray Charles Boyle."
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"That's an interesting offer,"
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"Pshaw! Imposition? Pshaw!"
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"I assume she'll be doing all the work."
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"Oh, because of our track records and personalities."
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"So, Santiago, are you sure you're okay with this?"
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"I'm so in. This is gonna be fantastic."
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"This is horrible! We're not ready for this."
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"This is a level one responsibility."
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"I'm a level two at best, and you're not even a level!"
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"Well, I'm a level, you know."
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"I'm probably, like, a level five."
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"Not a level."
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"Wasn't that where you wanted to spend your honeymoon?"
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"Yeah, but this is too much pressure!"
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"Because Holt hasn't seen Kevin in, like, months,"
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"it would make me really sad."
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"Plus, therthis big, fat binder"
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"full of instructions and rules."
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"There's a binder?"
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"Why didn't you lead with that, you idiot?"
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"How about I just leave you two alone?"
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"Okay."
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"- I need you to sign this report. - Okay."
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"I'll sign your report."
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"Mm."
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"Okay, they got to knock that off."
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"- Loosen up, Sarge. - Summer of love, baby."
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"It's March, man. Shut up."
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"Now that I'm fully blind forever,"
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"my other senses are heightened."
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"We're at Captain Holt's house."
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"Also, the GPS announced it when we pulled up."
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"Hey, once we're inside,"
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"The captain can be very particular about his stuff."
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"- Amy? - This is a cashmere sweater!"
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"Oh, my stupid allergies!"
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"He got into Kevin's closet."
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"He was supposed to stay downstairs."
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"The binder was very clear about that."
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"Oh, no, he's turning all the turtlenecks"
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"into regular necks."
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"- Charles, you got to help us. - On it."
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"Okay, the key with dogs is establishing the alpha."
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"I'll give you anything you want."
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"Oh, Cheddar is the alpha. Didn't expect that."
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"Pwease, pwease, pwease."
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"Nice job, Boyle. It worked."
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"But the mess, Jake. The mess!"
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"Don't worry. We're gonna clean it up."
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"Boyle, the space heater! Get away from the space heater!"
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"- No! - Aah!"
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"Charles, just stay where you are!"
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"Fragile. I was gonna say fragile."
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"- Nailed it. - Ah!"
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"Can't even get a cup of coffee."
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"so I can do this all over again."
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"All right, Diaz? That's it."
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"What's going on with you two?"
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"I don't know what to tell you."
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"Okay. Great news."
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"The smell of burnt sweatpants and singed leg hair"
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"Call from Raymond Holt, mobile."
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"Oh, no. Not Holt."
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"Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor."
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"I'm calling to check in before I get on the flight."
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"Let's just say if the house could talk, she would say,"
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"Oh, that's interesting, because I think"
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"the house might say "Jake's a liar, and I'm..."
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"Okay, the house was never on fire."
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"Charles was on fire, and only on his pants,"
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"I'm coming home right now."
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"Wait, no. Sir, please don't do that."
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"You have to go see Kevin. Everything's fine."
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"No, my decision is final. I'm postponing my flight."
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"No, sir! Please, please... ahh!"
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"He said "Jacob.""
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