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Clips from Billy Madison

Movies 1995 89 min ★ 6.4/10 (169,930 ratings) 1,097 clips
Comedy

Credits

~ You protect me
"~ You protect me"
Billy Madison
Have five daiquiris?
"Have five daiquiris?"
Billy Madison
It's nudie-magazine day!
"It's nudie-magazine day!"
Billy Madison
Ooh, you're a quick one.
"Ooh, you're a quick one."
Billy Madison
Nudie-magazine day! Nudie-magazine day!
"Nudie-magazine day! Nudie-magazine day!"
Billy Madison
Agh! Ooh!
"Agh! Ooh!"
Billy Madison
Ooh.
"Ooh."
Billy Madison
(squawking )
"(squawking )"
Billy Madison
Penguin.
"Penguin."
Billy Madison
Beautiful table.
"Beautiful table."
Billy Madison
Where's Billy?
"Where's Billy?"
Billy Madison
Juanita said he'd be down in a few minutes.
"Juanita said he'd be down in a few minutes."
Billy Madison
I'm sure you'll all be very impressed.
"I'm sure you'll all be very impressed."
Billy Madison
- I see you got a little sun today. - You think so?
"- I see you got a little sun today. - You think so?"
Billy Madison
- I fell asleep by the pool for a few hours. - Did you fall asleep or did you pass out?
"- I fell asleep by the pool for a few hours. - Did you fall asleep or did you pass out?"
Billy Madison
It's good soup.
"It's good soup."
Billy Madison
Gentlemen, I can't thank you enough for coming this evening.
"Gentlemen, I can't thank you enough for coming this evening."
Billy Madison
Please, Billy, please, no gibberish tonight, please. I beg you.
"Please, Billy, please, no gibberish tonight, please. I beg you."
Billy Madison
That's it, Billy! Get the hell outta here!
"That's it, Billy! Get the hell outta here!"
Billy Madison
I don't know. My dad was yellin' at me. I'm just not in the mood.
"I don't know. My dad was yellin' at me. I'm just not in the mood."
Billy Madison
Hey, Billy, who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
"Hey, Billy, who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?"
Billy Madison
- Billy is not an idiot. - I'm not saying he's an idiot.
"- Billy is not an idiot. - I'm not saying he's an idiot."
Billy Madison
We built it into 650 hotels.
"We built it into 650 hotels."
Billy Madison
Oh, Billy, Billy boy.
"Oh, Billy, Billy boy."
Billy Madison
Who got the lighter?
"Who got the lighter?"
Billy Madison
Judas Priest, Barbara! One of those flaming bags again!
"Judas Priest, Barbara! One of those flaming bags again!"
Billy Madison
(Barbara ) Don't put it out with your boots, Ted.
"(Barbara ) Don't put it out with your boots, Ted."
Billy Madison
This is the best night of my life!
"This is the best night of my life!"
Billy Madison
I have big news.
"I have big news."
Billy Madison
You were brought up with every advantage. I bought you everything.
"You were brought up with every advantage. I bought you everything."
Billy Madison
- ..is gonna take over Madison Hotels. - Eric?!
"- ..is gonna take over Madison Hotels. - Eric?!"
Billy Madison
I mean, I'm doin' you a favour. You don't ever have to look for a job.
"I mean, I'm doin' you a favour. You don't ever have to look for a job."
Billy Madison
- Penguin? - What an idiot.
"- Penguin? - What an idiot."
Billy Madison
I think crazy Carl is right. I mean, I can do this if I set my mind to it.
"I think crazy Carl is right. I mean, I can do this if I set my mind to it."
Billy Madison
Forget it.
"Forget it."
Billy Madison
I'll do anything it takes. I'll go back to high school and take the exams again.
"I'll do anything it takes. I'll go back to high school and take the exams again."
Billy Madison
- I'll get my diploma all by myself. - Billy, Billy, it wasn't just high school.
"- I'll get my diploma all by myself. - Billy, Billy, it wasn't just high school."
Billy Madison
I'll do each grade in two weeks, take the tests, regraduate,...
"I'll do each grade in two weeks, take the tests, regraduate,..."
Billy Madison
..and its 61,000 employees is too important to gamble on a game like this?
"..and its 61,000 employees is too important to gamble on a game like this?"
Billy Madison
No.
"No."
Billy Madison
Oh!
"Oh!"
Billy Madison
Nice try, asswipe. But you're just delaying the inevitable.
"Nice try, asswipe. But you're just delaying the inevitable."
Billy Madison
~ Downtown we'll drown, we're in our never splendour
"~ Downtown we'll drown, we're in our never splendour"
Billy Madison
~ Who's got the new boy gender?
"~ Who's got the new boy gender?"
Billy Madison
You've got a banana. You don't need no Snack Pack.
"You've got a banana. You don't need no Snack Pack."
Billy Madison
I thought I was your Snack Pack.
"I thought I was your Snack Pack."
Billy Madison
~ Back to school
"~ Back to school"
Billy Madison
~ Back to school, back to school...
"~ Back to school, back to school..."
Billy Madison
Are you going to class today, too?
"Are you going to class today, too?"
Billy Madison
I'll be going to learn.
"I'll be going to learn."
Billy Madison
Yes, I am.
"Yes, I am."
Billy Madison
Well, all right!
"Well, all right!"
Billy Madison
(bell rings )
"(bell rings )"
Billy Madison
- Hey. How you doin'? - Let's involve the class.
"- Hey. How you doin'? - Let's involve the class."
Billy Madison
Billy is going to be sharing our fun and learning for the next two weeks.
"Billy is going to be sharing our fun and learning for the next two weeks."
Billy Madison
''This puppy was the happiest puppy in the whole world.''
"''This puppy was the happiest puppy in the whole world.''"
Billy Madison
''The end.''
"''The end.''"
Billy Madison
..is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour.
"..is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour."
Billy Madison
That little boy's gotta think: you got a pet, you got a responsibility.
"That little boy's gotta think: you got a pet, you got a responsibility."
Billy Madison
You get your ass out there and you find that fuckin' dog!
"You get your ass out there and you find that fuckin' dog!"
Billy Madison
I think it's time to play dodge ball.
"I think it's time to play dodge ball."
Billy Madison
I bet that Snack Pack's pretty good.
"I bet that Snack Pack's pretty good."
Billy Madison
Mortal Kombat on Sega Genesis is the best video game ever.
"Mortal Kombat on Sega Genesis is the best video game ever."
Billy Madison
I disagree. It's a very good game, but I think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.
"I disagree. It's a very good game, but I think Donkey Kong is the best game ever."
Billy Madison
~ Number two, number two
"~ Number two, number two"
Billy Madison
~ Hey, what countryfolk we be
"~ Hey, what countryfolk we be"
Billy Madison
I heard he's retarded or something.
"I heard he's retarded or something."
Billy Madison
This programme to make sure they turn the wheels right...
"This programme to make sure they turn the wheels right..."
Billy Madison
- (phone rings ) - Yes.
"- (phone rings ) - Yes."
Billy Madison
- (secretary ) Brian Madison for you. - Tell him I'm out to lunch.
"- (secretary ) Brian Madison for you. - Tell him I'm out to lunch."
Billy Madison
We eliminate it. We eliminate Billy Madison.
"We eliminate it. We eliminate Billy Madison."
Billy Madison
(laughing )
"(laughing )"
Billy Madison
- You want some of this milk? - That milk belongs to that classroom.
"- You want some of this milk? - That milk belongs to that classroom."
Billy Madison
I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before...
"I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before..."
Billy Madison
What do you think of that, Mr Blue Duck?
"What do you think of that, Mr Blue Duck?"
Billy Madison
Rolex!
"Rolex!"
Billy Madison
(Eric ) Go!
"(Eric ) Go!"
Billy Madison
You're humiliating yourself! Get up!
"You're humiliating yourself! Get up!"
Billy Madison
So he's passed first grade and he's moved on to second. Whoop-de-do.
"So he's passed first grade and he's moved on to second. Whoop-de-do."
Billy Madison
Bath.
"Bath."
Billy Madison
Cheese.
"Cheese."
Billy Madison
C...
"C..."
Billy Madison
R... Are you going to the mall later? That's what I'm asking.
"R... Are you going to the mall later? That's what I'm asking."
Billy Madison
No, I am not going to the mall. Keep spelling, mister.
"No, I am not going to the mall. Keep spelling, mister."
Billy Madison
..c-h?
"..c-h?"
Billy Madison
Correct!
"Correct!"
Billy Madison
Spoilt snot. Get outta here.
"Spoilt snot. Get outta here."
Billy Madison
- Good morning, class. - Good morning, Miss Vaughn.
"- Good morning, class. - Good morning, Miss Vaughn."
Billy Madison
- Jeez! What's up her butt? - What was that, Billy?
"- Jeez! What's up her butt? - What was that, Billy?"
Billy Madison
..who w...''
"..who w...''"
Billy Madison
You're gonna get us in trouble.
"You're gonna get us in trouble."
Billy Madison
Ow! You're tearing my ear off!
"Ow! You're tearing my ear off!"
Billy Madison
Oh, Veronica Vaughn. So hot.
"Oh, Veronica Vaughn. So hot."
Billy Madison
Oh, yes. Oh, my.
"Oh, yes. Oh, my."
Billy Madison
Oh, God, yes.
"Oh, God, yes."
Billy Madison
- Lordy. - Billy Madison.
"- Lordy. - Billy Madison."
Billy Madison
They look like Rs to me.
"They look like Rs to me."
Billy Madison
I hate cursive and I hate all of you!
"I hate cursive and I hate all of you!"
Billy Madison
I'm never comin' back to school! Never!
"I'm never comin' back to school! Never!"
Billy Madison
(children laugh )
"(children laugh )"
Billy Madison
I swear, I'm sick. I can't go to school.
"I swear, I'm sick. I can't go to school."
Billy Madison
But don't get your hopes up, because I plan on teaching,...
"But don't get your hopes up, because I plan on teaching,..."
Billy Madison
Michael?
"Michael?"
Billy Madison
Excuse me. What's that in your hand?
"Excuse me. What's that in your hand?"
Billy Madison
''We're so lucky to have Principal Anderson substituting.''
"''We're so lucky to have Principal Anderson substituting.''"
Billy Madison
- Why? Did she say she likes me? - Not to me.
"- Why? Did she say she likes me? - Not to me."
Billy Madison
Uh-huh.
"Uh-huh."
Billy Madison
Uh-huh.
"Uh-huh."
Billy Madison
- I'll give you a grown-up. - What was that, Ernie?
"- I'll give you a grown-up. - What was that, Ernie?"
Billy Madison
(children ) Do it. Come on.
"(children ) Do it. Come on."
Billy Madison
- I have to go to the bathroom. - Probably about two minutes.
"- I have to go to the bathroom. - Probably about two minutes."
Billy Madison
Sorry about that. Damn guy drives like an animal.
"Sorry about that. Damn guy drives like an animal."
Billy Madison
- OK. - I double-dare you.
"- OK. - I double-dare you."
Billy Madison
(children giggle )
"(children giggle )"
Billy Madison
..but you have to admit, I've been tryin' to be good lately.
"..but you have to admit, I've been tryin' to be good lately."
Billy Madison
Of course I peed my pants. Everybody my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.
"Of course I peed my pants. Everybody my age pees their pants. It's the coolest."
Billy Madison
Oh!
"Oh!"
Billy Madison
Hi, Miss Vaughn. Nice to see ya.
"Hi, Miss Vaughn. Nice to see ya."
Billy Madison
(boy ) Stop it.
"(boy ) Stop it."
Billy Madison
The mucus queen is yours.
"The mucus queen is yours."
Billy Madison