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Clips from Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Into the Woods (S05E05)

"- Is that based on the Chekhov? - There's a chimp playing hockey?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"We have to see the chimp playing hockey. That's hilarious."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"The ice is so slippery, and monkeys are all irrational. We have to see this."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You pick, Dawn. This is your night. We are celebrating your mom's good news."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Go monkey. Choose monkey."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's OK. You don't have to make a big deal for me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No, that's not... that's not it at all. They just need time to... be tender."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Relax."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
""Alone time" means "Get Dawn out of the house so we can have loud, obnoxious sex.""
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Can we put this song on repeat? - Whatever you want."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Good."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I can't believe how relaxed I feel. It's like all the tension's just left my body."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Already? Cos I had that scheduled for a little later on."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Always."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I want tonight to be special for you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm glad. You deserve it after everything you've been through."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Not really. Just covering for the weepy chicken within."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I cried so hard, I didn't think I was gonna be able to stop."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"That's all in the past now."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I don't know, Buffy. I think I'd look like I had a cat on my head."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Come on. Wigs are fun. We could get you a whole bunch of different ones."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You know, you could be, like, Sixties Mom, Action Mom, French Maid Mom."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You have more important things to make up. I know you've been missing a lot of school."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I may have to take a few incompletes, but I'll finish the semester."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well, what about slaying and your friends? I want you to have your life back."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Right now I'd rather be here, styling your beautiful, new, plastic dream hair."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Fair enough, but you don't have to keep me company all night."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Go out, have fun, get Riley to take you to a movie or something."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I told him to make other plans because I wanted to have you all to myself, OK?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And I'm sure he'll come over later lookin' for a little... Bible study."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well, good. I mean, just as long as the two of you are spending some quality time"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"with... the Lord."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- What've we got? - Belize. Last transmission."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It might take a little convincing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Get out. - No, I'm serious."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I wanna show you something."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- What? - You need to see this."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Oh, please. Like I give a bloody damn."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You need help."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Was that the Slayer? What the hell are you doin' bringin' the Slayer here?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Get out."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"If you don't like what you hear, we'll be on our way."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"A demon tribe is taking apart missionaries in the rainforest down there."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"We want you to join us."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- I quit the government long ago. - We're not government. We're army."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"High risk, low pay, and seriously messy."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And so it begins."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No longer a victim of crass holiday commercialisation, I'm a purveyor of it."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Who ordered more chickens' feet? The ones we have aren't moving at all."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm serious. Maybe we could do a holiday promotion."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Merry tykes by the fire, enjoying their new Christmas chicken feet."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Aw, holding them tight as they fall asleep. Painting their little toenails."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"That's very humorous. Make fun of the ex-demon."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What? I don't say that. No one says that. No one talks that way."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"There's nothing wrong with my idea. I've been very good for this store."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"If not for me, Giles would be a terrified old man staring at a tax bill and wetting himself."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I forgot about the vigorous sitting around."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Anya, you can back off a little. You get paid. Willow's doin' this on her own time."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm sorry. Thank you for making time in your busy life to come and get in the way of mine."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Anya, play nice. - You know, fine."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Take her side instead of mine, even though I sleep with you and feed you and bathe you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Please. Stop, I beg of you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I need to find out everything I can about a vamp nest downtown."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It looked like they were paying vampires to bite them."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Humans hire vampires to feed off them. They, you know, get off on the rush."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And the danger. The hazards of the underworld can be addictive to some people."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Why don't the vampires kill them? - They get cash, hot and cold running blood,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"But still, it can be terribly dangerous for humans. People can die accidentally,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well, it is. And I'm gonna stop it."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- What? Why? - It's not where your efforts are best spent."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm going."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Anya, will you mind the store?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- I apologise for the use of the word "crib". - You think they'll set up shop again in town?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's hard to say. I'm sure they'll lie low for a bit."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"There's gotta be a way to find these creeps."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Don't worry, you'll find 'em. - Yeah. You'll get them next time, champ."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Hey! Let's be reasonable about this."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I left reasonable about three exits back."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Why the hell not?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Bloody hell! Oh, God!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Plastic woodgrain. Looks real, doesn't it?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Don't think I don't know what's goin' on with you, Spike."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Look at you. All afraid I'm hot for your honey."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well... yeah."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Even if I wasn't in the picture, you'll never hold onto her."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Shut up. - You know it."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No matter how low you try to go."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You actually think you got a shot with her?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"A fella's gotta try, though. Gotta do what he can."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"If you touched her,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"you know I'd kill you for real."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Sometimes I envy you so much, it chokes me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Feelin' her, feelin' her beneath you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Surrounding you. The scent."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No, you got the better deal."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Something really bad is going on with her. - I don't know. Maybe you're overreacting."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Who hasn't done stuff like that from time to time?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I made a guy spontaneously combust. He set his village on fire."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- There's a thing with the vaulting horse... - Anya."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What? You started it."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"In your world, OK. But here, this isn't the time for tales of Anya and Xander's Sex Capades."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well, maybe we can go home and, you know, have 'em."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- We need to talk. - I'm not ready to talk to you yet."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm serious. Unless you wanna fight."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And say what? "What were you thinking? How long have you been lying to me?""
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Fine. Get your hand off of me."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"To get even after you let Dracula bite you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- I did not let Dracula... - I know."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"But I was still spun."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I wanted to know why Dracula and Angel have so much power over you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"So this is my fault? "Hey, gee, Buffy's so mysterious, I think I'll go out and almost die.""
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
""I think I'll go and let some other...""
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"But it's just..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- These girls... - Vampires. Killers."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I can't. I can't hear this."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You need to hear this."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Fine. Fine."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Tell me about your whores."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Tell me what on earth they were giving you that I can't."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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