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Clips from BoJack Horseman - A Safe Space (S03E03)

"-No, but he kept at it. -[groaning]"
BoJack Horseman
"I'm making things all about me? I'm the one who's having an abortion."
BoJack Horseman
"-It's ridiculous. -They're completely morally bankrupt."
BoJack Horseman
"I agree with you, 247 percent."
BoJack Horseman
"I just wrote "morally bankrupt" on this form."
BoJack Horseman
"You were right to do that. This form is being very nosy right now."
BoJack Horseman
"Why did I even take that job?"
BoJack Horseman
"You were going through a rough time, Princess Carolyn wanted to help you"
BoJack Horseman
"and she offered you the job."
BoJack Horseman
"Okay, yeah, that was nice."
BoJack Horseman
"because I am here to support you no matter what,"
BoJack Horseman
"Like, if that idea were a Dillon brother maybe it's a Kevin, not a Matt?"
BoJack Horseman
"Someone has to tell the world that Sextina is a total fraud."
BoJack Horseman
"-Oh. Yeah, I mean, I work with her. -Oh. She is so cool."
BoJack Horseman
"Sextina's music makes me feel strong, like I can do anything."
BoJack Horseman
"It doesn't offend you?"
BoJack Horseman
"What about the part where she says,"
BoJack Horseman
""I hope and pray to God my little fetus has a soul"
BoJack Horseman
"'cause I want it to feel pain when I eject it from my hole"?"
BoJack Horseman
"It's a joke. You get that it's a joke, right?"
BoJack Horseman
"Well, obviously."
BoJack Horseman
"-No, I get it. -Getting an abortion is scary."
BoJack Horseman
"how you have to listen to the heartbeat and all that."
BoJack Horseman
"[sighing] Yeah."
BoJack Horseman
"[nurse] Diane?"
BoJack Horseman
"Ana?"
BoJack Horseman
"I let him know this morning."
BoJack Horseman
"First he thought I was doing a really good prank,"
BoJack Horseman
"but eventually I think he understood."
BoJack Horseman
"Jurj Clooners? Sexiest Man in America Jurj Clooners?"
BoJack Horseman
"I dropped all my other clients. You're the underdog."
BoJack Horseman
"I want to put all my attention on you and get you that Oscar."
BoJack Horseman
"So nobody else, huh? Good."
BoJack Horseman
"Just all your hopes and dreams pinned on me."
BoJack Horseman
"-I know we can do it. -Just me, huh?"
BoJack Horseman
"Let's just get Jurj on the phone so we--"
BoJack Horseman
"Okay."
BoJack Horseman
"Whoa, Ana, what are you--?"
BoJack Horseman
"-Oh, boy. -Shh... It's okay."
BoJack Horseman
"Yes."
BoJack Horseman
"-...try to screw me again. -Ouch! Oh, please."
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah. Weirdly educational."
BoJack Horseman
"I actually learned a lot about abortion, and I just had an abortion."
BoJack Horseman
"-How are you feeling? -I feel shitty."
BoJack Horseman
"I'm glad I did it, but mostly I just felt old."
BoJack Horseman
"There were all these teenagers there. Twenty-somethings."
BoJack Horseman
"Diane, you don't need to explain anything to anyone."
BoJack Horseman
"[phone buzzing]"
BoJack Horseman
"But that might be a little confusing to my fans,"
BoJack Horseman
"Okay, we're gonna handle this. Meet us at the office in 20 minutes."
BoJack Horseman
"where Chad Michael Murray and Thora Birch went."
BoJack Horseman
"Release them over the next year so it seems like she's still around."
BoJack Horseman
"[Carolyn] People are going to love that. [Diane] Yeah. Everyone loves a baby."
BoJack Horseman
"♪ No, I'mma have abortions always ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ And sometimes I do have doubts and its hard to sleep ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ I hope and pray to God my little fetus has a soul ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"-You know I love you. -That's not what this is about."
BoJack Horseman
"There's no "I" in uterus, there's only "us.""
BoJack Horseman
"How could I say it "on three"? I'll be saying "three.""
BoJack Horseman
"Everyone loves Secretariat. Your time will come."
BoJack Horseman
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go tell A.O. Scott how great you are."
BoJack Horseman
"Hey, Diane."
BoJack Horseman
""I'm getting an abortion.""
BoJack Horseman
"Wouldn't a better forum be nowhere?"
BoJack Horseman
"And BuzzFeed just posted a list of top 15 celebrities"
BoJack Horseman
"The fact that you're coming out like this is huge."
BoJack Horseman
"Why does she have to listen to the heartbeat?"
BoJack Horseman
"Also, before your procedure,"
BoJack Horseman
"He's not a god. He's just an old guy who loves pranks."
BoJack Horseman
"How do you get in the head of a war criminal?"
BoJack Horseman
"-Well-- -Yeah, you get it. Put her there."
BoJack Horseman
"[groaning]"
BoJack Horseman
"Someone put a baby in your belly and now you're like,"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ Alien's inside me I'm gonna squash it like Sigourney ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"Next up, Jurj Clooners is making audiences cry"
BoJack Horseman
"I said, "Auschwitz." You're the Nazi who played Yahtzee."
BoJack Horseman
"You don't need to talk, you can just drive."
BoJack Horseman
"'Cause I gotta pick up a bachelorette party in 30 minutes."
BoJack Horseman
"-Duh, we'll just Argo that shit. -What does that mean?"
BoJack Horseman
"-I am so tired of you creating problems. -I'm not--"
BoJack Horseman
"Where's that ZZ Top mofo at?"
BoJack Horseman
"Secretariat was an athlete, right? And you used to be an athlete."
BoJack Horseman
"-Did you think I was Bo Jackson? -This idea I know you're going to like."
BoJack Horseman
"You know that car wash on Alvarado?"
BoJack Horseman
"Which she should not have done. So morally bankrupt."
BoJack Horseman
"before the very real damage that bottle-nosed maniac"
BoJack Horseman
"[gasping] That's it, the news."
BoJack Horseman
"but maybe it isn't the best idea?"
BoJack Horseman
"When you can joke about it, it makes it less scary, you know?"
BoJack Horseman
"Somehow beating the odds"
BoJack Horseman
"Do you like that? Being in control? Being the star?"
BoJack Horseman
"I just found out I got knocked up for real."
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah, we'll send her to that farm where celebrities go to disappear,"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ Have abortions sometimes? ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"and everyone starts to look at their phones and look at me,"
BoJack Horseman
"I didn't get them, I paid for them."
BoJack Horseman
"-That's the point. -Is that the point?"
BoJack Horseman
"Is someone standing on my windpipe?"
BoJack Horseman
"[dolphin squeaking]"
BoJack Horseman
"Is that really a good idea?"
BoJack Horseman
"But still, she is putting her company's bottom line"
BoJack Horseman
"I figured they would, like, tell you this stuff."
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah, only the best for my abortion. All class."
BoJack Horseman
"-BoJack, not a name. -Huh."
BoJack Horseman
"Pay-per-view, chitches."
BoJack Horseman
"♪ I think about my child's heartbeat and oh, it makes me weep ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"Tell it!"
BoJack Horseman
"We're late, and I won't keep going round and round with you on this."
BoJack Horseman
"then it's definitely all worth it."
BoJack Horseman
"-When you fired me, it was thrilling. -Oh. Ana..."
BoJack Horseman
"♪ Get that fetus, kill that fetus Get that fetus, kill that fetus ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"It reminded me that I work for you, and I liked that."
BoJack Horseman
"-[crowd chattering] -[babies crying]"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ Brrap brrap pew pew Brrap brrap pew pew ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"at the Golden Snowflake Awards."
BoJack Horseman
"And the Golden Snowflake is... Jurj Clooners."
BoJack Horseman
"Nine out of ten?"
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah..."
BoJack Horseman
"[sighing]"
BoJack Horseman
"Why? Because I lost, I'm a loser, so I have to drown my sorrows in scotch?"
BoJack Horseman
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