Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Louie - Heckler/Cop Movie (S01E01)

"Oh, Louie."
Louie
"He loved you. You were his favorite client."
Louie
"Really?"
Louie
"Sorry."
Louie
"Are you gonna take that part in The Godfather?"
Louie
"I don't know."
Louie
"You should do it. For him."
Louie
"Okay. I'll see you later, okay?"
Louie
"Like this?"
Louie
"So, Matthew, this is Louie C. K. Hi."
Louie
"Oh, hi, hi. Nice to meet you."
Louie
"How you doing? Good. Thank you for--"
Louie
"Oh, yeah, yeah. I saw you on one of those late-night shows. You're really funny."
Louie
"Thanks. Thank you."
Louie
"This isn't funny, but I had an idea that you'd be good at it."
Louie
"Thank you."
Louie
"You excited? Sure. Yeah."
Louie
"It's great."
Louie
"Am I--? Can I just ask you a question? Am I one of the--? Am I one of the Jews?"
Louie
"What?"
Louie
"Am I--? Am I one of the--? I'll see you out there."
Louie
"Okay."
Louie
"You-- You can't go in there."
Louie
"Where's my father? Your father is dead."
Louie
"Is that seriously how you're gonna say it? What?"
Louie
"Sorry."
Louie
"No, well, look. Look, you're telling me that my father is dead."
Louie
"Well, how do you tell somebody something like that?"
Louie
"Your fa--? Your father or the character's father?"
Louie
"Is your father dead? Let's try again."
Louie
"Okay, I'm really sorry. It's okay, don't say you're sorry."
Louie
"Okay, okay. It's okay."
Louie
"Okay, let's go again. We'll go again. Okay? I'm sorry."
Louie
"You can't go in there."
Louie
"Where's my father?"
Louie
"Your father is dead."
Louie
"What? That face."
Louie
"I thought it was the way I said your father's dead."
Louie
"No, let's just go again. We'll go again. Okay."
Louie
"You can't go in there."
Louie
"Where's my father? Oh, your father's dead."
Louie
"Oh, cut."
Louie
"I'm sorry, what did--? That wasn't good either?"
Louie
"You can't go in. Where's my father?"
Louie
"I forgot to say it was your father. Yeah."
Louie
"You don't know who I'm talking about. Okay, I'll do it again."
Louie
"Where's my father? Your father is dead."
Louie
"That wasn't good, right? No."
Louie
"I have to imagine your father's dead?"
Louie
"Yeah, right, you're telling somebody his father's dead."
Louie
"That's why you say, Your father's dead."
Louie
"Your father's dead."
Louie
"I don't know anybody whose father died that I was to tell them."
Louie
"Right. I never did that before."
Louie
"Where's my father? Your father's dead."
Louie
"Do you--? How do you get--? Do you take the train here or--?"
Louie
"We'll go again. Okay."
Louie
"Are you--?"
Louie
"No, I think-- We'll go again. We'll go again."
Louie
"Hey. Hey."
Louie
"Hey, I'm really sorry about how it's going."
Louie
"That's okay. So, what is it, are you nervous?"
Louie
"Not really."
Louie
"What then?"
Louie
"I just don't like acting. I'm not good at it and I don't like it."
Louie
"Look, uh...."
Louie
"Look, maybe you don't like acting, that's not my business."
Louie
"But try and respect other people's work."
Louie
"We're gonna move on and we'll come back and shoot your scene."
Louie
"Your father is dead."
Louie
"Last week, this can of soup was a dollar-thirty, now you're asking $2."
Louie
"What, do you make it up as you go along?"
Louie
"Hey, do you have cakey, doughnuty treat things?"
Louie
"Yeah, in the back. Thank you."
Louie
"This is supposed to be a business with set prices."
Louie
"You know what? I think I'm gonna have dinner out."
Louie
"Forget that. I don't want that soup anyway, it's too expensive."
Louie
"What's the matter, pal? - You mind? Give me a plastic bag."
Louie
"What you doing?"
Louie
"I don't understand. Please explain it to me."
Louie
"Why would you charge a fat man more money than you would pretty girls?"
Louie
"I'm gonna do all my business elsewhere. I'm going to the big supermarket."
Louie
"You know, you can phone them. They deliver."
Louie
"So pack it all up. Give me a lot of plastic bags."
Louie
"I use them for garbage and all that sort of--"
Louie
"Don't move, man. Give us the cash. Give us the cash."
Louie
"Help."
Louie
"Oh, shit."
Louie
"Do something."
Louie
"Drop it!"
Louie
"Oh, Jesus."
Louie
"Oh, shit."
Louie
"They don't give you guys real guns?"
Louie
"It's my little brother's, man. It's a toy."
Louie
"Why are you still pointing it? Why--?"
Louie
"Everybody knows it's fake. Put the gun away, man."
Louie
"Oh, my God, you get out of here. - Shit."
Louie
"Sorry, I--"
Louie
"I'll pay for this. I already ate half of it."
Louie
"Do it like this, when-- Just say it."
Louie
"Instead of, like, exclaiming it, just say it. Go ahead."
Louie
"Oh, my God. That was great."
Louie
"Was that real? Did you believe it? Yeah, that was good."
Louie
"Say it-- Say it-- Instead of at me, say it to yourself this time."
Louie
"The same way, just declare, saying it."
Louie
"Go ahead. Oh, my God."
Louie
"That's pretty good."
Louie
"It's getting there. It's getting there."
Louie
"...because there's a plane at your gate?"
Louie
"And you took that 15 minutes, the one-- Just picture this."
Louie
"...who are totally bitter against people like me."
Louie
"Hey, Laurie. Hey, you here to see Simon?"
Louie
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, cut. It's okay."
Louie
"He's dead. Well-- Uh-- Oh. Oh."
Louie
"Why don't you take a walk and try to find it in yourself to give a shit?"
Louie
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-ah"
Louie
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie"
Louie
"Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie"
Louie
"Louie, Louie, you're gonna die"
Louie
"I'm joking."
Louie
Show more clips