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Clips from NewsRadio - Jail (S05E05)

"Come on."
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"Beth, Joe didn't, uh--?"
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"He's a washout."
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"There."
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"Do you hear that? Huh?"
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"Do you hear that?"
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"The sound of Johnny weeping?"
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"Maniacally."
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"Go."
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"Jimmy James just escaped."
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"Oh, man!"
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"[GRUNTS]"
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"Uh, anybody else have any story ideas?"
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"Uh, Max?"
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"You don't have to ask for permission, all right?"
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"Fine, we won't do anything till you get back."
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"Thank you. All right."
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"Me, me, me, me."
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"Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me."
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"Oh, Matthew. Thank you, Dave."
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"Well, my sources say that the FBI is close"
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"to making an arrest in that, uh, D.B. Cooper case."
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"LISA: Matthew."
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"Would your sources, by any chance,"
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"be today's New York Post?"
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"Do you even know who D.B. Cooper is?"
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"Yeah, he's the, um..."
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"a man calling himself D.B. Cooper hijacked a plane"
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"and ransomed it for $200,000"
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"and successfully parachuted away with the loot"
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"never to be seen or heard from again."
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"Some think he survived the jump and lived happily ever after."
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"No way, D.B. Cooper parachuted to his death."
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"Dave, I'd like to interject something here."
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"Oh, of course, sir."
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"I don't think this story shows much promise."
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"Yeah, well, actually, I have no intention"
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"of doing a story on D .B. Cooper--"
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"I'm just saying, D.B. Cooper, who cares?"
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"So, I, for one, if you don't mind,"
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"on D.B. Cooper."
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"Well, obviously there's no way"
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"I'm gonna win this one, sir, so..."
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"I'm sorry, everyone, we're not gonna do"
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"The meeting is now adjourned."
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"You are under arrest for violation"
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"of Federal Interstate Hijacking Laws."
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"All right. What the hell is this all about?"
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"Huh? Oh, these guys think I'm D.B. Cooper, so--"
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"Right this way."
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"[GASPS]"
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"[LAUGHING] It's me, David."
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"I'm having fun. Come on in here."
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"Thank you, Scotty."
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"Ah, welcome to Gattaca, son. Eh."
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"Good to see you, sir."
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"Oh, well, sir, you know that, uh--"
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"Oh, well, that's silly. That-- That's just plain silly."
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"You-- You just tell them all to relax."
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"My main office is gonna be sending down"
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"Did I say sit on my bed, bitch? No!"
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"Well, sir, heh. Excellent big house humor."
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"Tell you what, sir, uh, you know--"
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"We're all more concerned about, you know,"
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"how you're holding up, you know?"
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"What do you mean?"
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"Well, you-- Um..."
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"You're charged with hijacking, and if you get convicted"
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"you could go away for 50 years--"
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"And your point would be?"
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"What's the gag? What is it? Do you own, like, what?"
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"Do you own this prison or something?"
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"No. No."
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"Is it like a promotional stunt for some other company"
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"you've got startin' up?"
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"Like, uh, "D.B. Cooper's House of Pancakes"? What?"
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"No. It, it-- It's nothing like that."
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"I just happen to think that there's no way"
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"I'm gonna get convicted on this D.B. Cooper thing."
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"Yeah, well, of course not. Of course not. Yeah."
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"The government's case is all circumstantial evidence."
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"Absolutely."
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"Not one shred of hard evidence against me."
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"that the money was carried away in."
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"I mean, then I'd be worried, yeah."
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"But, you know, as it is--"
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"Why would it-- Why would it worry you if--"
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"Why would that worry you?"
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"No reason."
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"Um, but..."
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"Dave."
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"And...?"
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"That's it. I'm not gonna lie to you."
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"LISA: Hey, Dave."
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"How's Mr. James doing?"
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"Oh, uh, well, I guess all things considered,"
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"he's, uh, pretty comfortable. Oh, great. Listen."
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"Next time you visit him, see if you can slip him this."
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"A shiv? Yeah."
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"That bad boy saved my life."
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"Oh, look, you've even written "bad boy" on it."
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"I had a little bit of free time on my hands."
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"Yeah, I can imagine."
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"Yes, I have, and I've uncovered"
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"a lot of evidence that looks really good for Mr. James."
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"Oh, good, good. For example,"
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"the flight D.B. Cooper hijacked was out of Portland, Oregon."
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"And as for the FBI's theory,"
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"Oh, good. Where did he live?"
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"Maplewood. Oh, where's that?"
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"I-I-I talked to a couple of the locals,"
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"Joe, what are you doing?"
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"What does it look like we're doing?"
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"out of federal prison. Duhhh."
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"Nobody is busting Mr. James out of prison, all right?"
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"That's right, if anybody comes around here asking questions,"
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"that's exactly what you tell them."
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"Okay, Joe has five seconds to crawl through the air duct"
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"and drop into the booth."
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