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Clips from Gilligan's Island - The Matchmaker (S01E01)

"* And the rest *"
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"[snoring]"
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"Ah, ah, ah. Thank you."
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"But then that's terribly chic and it's the right season too."
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"- What were you trying to catch? - An anteater."
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"It's solid gold, it's custom made, actually it's priceless."
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"Sure thing, Mr. Howell."
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"Gee, I just.."
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"sometimes a person can't show what they feel."
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"feels about her, but she just can't show it."
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"[blowing]"
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"We haven't spoke of that before."
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"Good evening and welcome to the Tour d'Argent."
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"[slow instrumental music]"
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"Oh, Gilligan. Allow me, madame."
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"Ginger will present a dance she created in her film"
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"* Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale *"
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"* A tale of a fateful trip *"
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"* That started from this tropic port aboard this tiny ship *"
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"* The mate was a mighty sailin' man *"
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"* The Skipper brave and sure *"
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"* Five passengers set sail that day *"
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"* For a three hour tour *"
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"* A three hour tour *"
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"[thunder rumbling]"
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"* The weather started getting rough *"
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"* The tiny ship was tossed *"
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"* If not for the courage of the fearless crew *"
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"* The Minnow would be lost *"
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"* The Minnow would be lost *"
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"* The ship set ground on the shore *"
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"* Of this uncharted desert isle *"
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"* With Gilligan *"
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"* The Skipper too *"
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"* The millionaire *"
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"* And his wife *"
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"* The movie star *"
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"* Are here on Gilligan's Isle *"
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"Dear, the opening of the opera"
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"the horse show, two debutant balls."
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"What the hell are you talking about?"
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"Oh, nothing, dear. Go back to sleep."
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"It's not your fault, anyway."
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"What's-what's not my fault?"
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"Well, that we're sitting out the entire social season"
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"on this silly little island."
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"Well, you're actually right. It's-it's not my fault."
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"I don't mind missing the other things."
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"But, Thurston, the weddings. Oh!"
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"If there was just something I could do here"
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"like a charity ball or a benefit luncheon"
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"or-or making a perfect match."
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"Chin up, Lovey."
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"We won't be on this deary little island forever."
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"Thurston, Thurston. Can't the captain of a ship marry people?"
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"Yes, as a matter of fact he can. Why?"
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"Why didn't I think about that before?"
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"They're the most perfect match. A little off beat of course."
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"Lovey, what on earth are you talking about?"
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"Well, the wedding of course. I have a thousand things to do."
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"If I'm not asking too much, whose wedding?"
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"I don't understand, no one here, but Gilligan and Mary Ann."
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"Exactly. Romeo and Juliet."
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"Nuptials between Gilligan and Mary Ann."
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"They're not even aware of each other's existence."
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"Of course they are, dear. Look at them out there."
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"With some encouragement they could be madly in love."
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"Gilligan, you should have told me. You set that trap?"
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"- I might have broken a leg. - I'm sorry you fell in."
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"- Here, let me rub it. - Oh, no, that's alright."
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"- An anteater? Whatever for? - For Ginger, the poor girl."
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"You mean, she told you to catch an anteater?"
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"No, the Skipper did."
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"He said she had ants in her belfry, whatever that is."
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"So I tried to help her get rid of 'em."
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"I'm sure the Skipper said bats in her belfry."
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"Bats?"
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"Where am I gonna find a bat eater?"
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"I don't even know what they look like."
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"Gilligan and Mary Ann haven't shown"
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"the slightest romantic inclination towards each other."
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"Of course not, dear."
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"If they could manage on their own"
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"they wouldn't need me, would they?"
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"Lovey, I want you to stop this ridiculous plan of action"
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"at once!"
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"Alright, darling, if you insist"
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"but it would be so easy."
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"First we get them thinking about marriage in general."
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"No!"
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"And then we get them thinking about each other."
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"No."
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"And get them thinking about"
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"the perfect marriage in the flesh."
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"- That's us, dear. - No. I mean, yes, yes, us."
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"It'd all be so easy. We'll let nature take its course."
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"And then I'll work on Mary Ann and you work on Gilligan."
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"No! I'll have no part of this"
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"cold blooded, nefarious, female scheme."
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"Yes, my boy, man doesn't start living until"
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"after he is married."
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"Mr. Howell, that must have cost a fortune."
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"Everything I have costs a fortune, Gilligan, my boy."
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"Except this camera. It costs more than a fortune."
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"It's beautiful."
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"It's true I like the finer things in life and so could you."
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"I never could be a millionaire."
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"Ha ha, don't sell yourself short, Gilligan."
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"Do you think that I was always healthy, handsome and wealthy?"
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"- Sure. - No, on the contrary."
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"When I was a youth, I was pale, sickly-looking inept"
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"rather like you, my boy."
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"- You're kidding? - Yes, I started to go downhill."
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"And then I met Lovey and that woman changed me."
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"She took me and she hammered, pounded, and molded me."
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"- That must have hurt. - It's a figure of speech."
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"Take the camera. Take a picture of me"
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"next to this rather rare plant for my album."
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"Remember, behind every famous man there stands a woman."
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"Look at Napoleon and Josephine. Look at Caesar and Cleopatra."
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