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Clips from Disenchantment (2018) - The Disenchantress (S02E02)

"[grunts]"
Disenchantment (2018)
"Gah! I kneel before thee, my ghost king!"
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"I ain't no ghost, Pendergast. I ain't even dyin' no more."
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"I've been fakin' it so you wouldn't kill me off,"
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"but now, honestly, I don't care."
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"My kingdom's outta control, my closest allies are now my mortal enemies,"
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"you're now my closest ally…"
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"I'm flattered, sire."
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"[groaning] And worst of all, my wonderful, crazy daughter is dead."
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"I gave her a hard time, but she was the light of my life. Beanie!"
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"I got no reason to live."
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"Here's a halberd. Kill me for real, huh?"
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"On the count of three, just splatter me good."
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"I know it's hard to see, but try to hit my neck."
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"[indistinct chatter]"
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"Things have been going great with Trixy, but, um, can I ask you a question?"
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"Is it still true love if your wallet is missing?"
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"[groans] Enough with the Trixy. Bean, how'd it go with your mom?"
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"I'm not sure. At first I thought I was doing fine,"
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"but then I got all mixed up. I think she's onto me."
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"Bean, you have to be careful. We know what this woman's capable of."
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"I mean, she tried to poison your dad."
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"-Please understand… -[all yelping]"
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"Stop doing that!"
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"Cloyd and Becky told me Zøg was evil and had to be stopped."
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"I swear, Bean, I meant him no permanent harm,"
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"and I intend to prove it to you."
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"I don't see how. We don't even know if Dad recovered from his bullet wound."
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"-Did you know that I shot Dad? -Everybody knows that."
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"I don't even know if Dad is alive and kicking or dead and buried."
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"Oh, Bean, I don't think that's happened yet,"
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"but what if I helped you find out?"
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"I'm sure you recognize these floor plans from your heist. My baby's first felony."
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"They killed Slappo, you know."
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"No, Slappo's still alive, and those sweet, snarling dogs, too."
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"Now, I've drawn in the Trøgs' secret tunnels."
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"Here's the one I had them use to get the music box back into your bedroom."
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"Here's the one that goes straight to Dad's room. I'll use it--"
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"I'm afraid not. The passages are only big enough for Trøgs"
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"and those aren't tunneling thighs, dear."
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"-But perhaps your little elf friend… -[chuckles]"
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"Um, her little elf friend can speak for himself. Bean, what should I do?"
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"Follow the tunnel to Zøg's bedchamber."
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"When you've delivered Bean's message, pull the rope twice."
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"If he's okay, tell him I'm alive."
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"And if you get a chance, can you bring me my blue hairbrush?"
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"It should be on the nightstand, but Bunty might have moved it."
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"Mmm-hmm."
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"[grunts]"
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"Somebody kick my ass?"
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"[grunts]"
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"-I'm alive. -Yeah, so what?"
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"Bean is alive, too…"
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"[screaming and grunting]"
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"Oh, hello, ghost of Elfo!"
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"[clanging]"
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"[screaming]"
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"[grunts] Ow!"
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"Elfo, quit clowning around. Is my dad alive?"
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"Yes. Am I? [grunts]"
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"-[Bean] Oh, Mom, thank you! -You're hugging me."
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"It's the first time I've hugged you since you tried to kill me."
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"And I'm not letting you go this time."
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"What about my needs?"
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"Bean's still alive! I got somethin' to live for!"
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"I'm glad you didn't bash in my head."
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"There's plenty of other heads we could bash in, sire."
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"Listen. You're the only guy I trust, except that elf on the rope."
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"Where'd he go? Anyway, here's the plan."
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"The only way Odval and the Archdruidess will let me outta here is if I'm dead."
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"So you go get a coffin, drag it up here, and stick me in it."
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"So you do want me to kill you? Okay, sounds like a plan."
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"-[grunts] -Hold on, let me finish, dumbass!"
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"You nail me into the coffin, you tell everybody I died,"
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"wheel me outta town, go get Turbish and Mertz,"
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"and we'll figure out how to bust this conspiracy"
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"from the safety of my secret royal hideaway."
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"Great! Where is your secret royal hideaway?"
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"It's an unmarked castle about 20 miles from here. You can't miss it."
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"Your Majesty, I crave an audience. Put down the dolls."
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"Granted."
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"As you may know, I'm something of a swine vivant."
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"I and my fellow scallywags find it increasingly hard"
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"to carouse in the face of all your new religious edicts."
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"I'd like to help you if I could understand you, Pig Merkimer."
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"I'm talking about roistering and rutting!"
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"Consecrating our desires without fear of reprisal or castigation."
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"Sire, you must revoke your pronouncements posthaste!"
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"I don't know if Odval or Purple Mommy would approve."
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"But you are king. I beg of you on behalf of all the deviants of Dreamland."
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"[chuckles]"
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"[clears throat] Come along, Your Majesty. It's edict time."
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"Ugh, shouldn't you be wallowing in your own filth?"
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"If only! You know that's been banned."
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"Remember the wankers!"
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"[Derek groans] "Edict number 43.""
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""All executed shall endow their clothing to Odval or the Archdruidess,"
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"depending upon who looks best in it.""
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"That was one of mine."
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"Hmm. These are getting pretty arbitrary. Maybe Merkimer was right."
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"Why can't I be arbitrary, too? I'm king."
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"New edict! "From now on, all weirdos get to do whatever they want!""
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""Except Weirdo.""
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""That noise he makes really creeps me out.""
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"He's going off-scroll!"
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"I like this. Let's see. "From now on,"
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"disputes will be resolved by pancake eating contests.""
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"Um… "All rocking horses must be built to support the huskiest of boys.""
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""A statue shall be erected in honor of my dear sister Bean,"
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"and maybe a sandwich at the deli can be named after Elfo and Luci.""
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"Faster, before he gives it all away!"
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""And a socialist utopia shall be established that will--""
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"[grunts]"
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"Ceremony's over. Go in peace!"
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"Inquisition starts in five, four, three, two…"
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"-[screaming] -You better run!"
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"[smacks lips and blows]"
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"So long, cruel jerks. [chuckles]"
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"Bang it down tight. I'm only gonna be in here like an hour."
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"That's the final nail in your coffin, sire."
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