Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from American Dad! - Bar Mitzvah Hustle (S04E04)

"What Snot did was unforgivable, but Etan's behavior proved he's not a man at all."
American Dad!
"[Man On P.A.] Three large pizzas with everything."
American Dad!
"Oh, that's for me. But... let's hang out sometime."
American Dad!
"- Did you hear that, Roger? - How Debbie didn't say hi to me? No, I didn't."
American Dad!
"My plan is actually working. I think she might want to get back together."
American Dad!
"Oh, but she won't if she knows I'm the one who tried to rob Etan."
American Dad!
"- So now I can't tell the truth to help Snot. - Look. If you wanna save Snot..."
American Dad!
"the beit din has to be convinced he deserves another chance."
American Dad!
"Where am I gonna find an expert on Jewish law?"
American Dad!
"You really have to ask me that?"
American Dad!
"- Herschel Hirshbaum for the defense. - [Sighs]"
American Dad!
"- We'll get your foreskin cut off all right. - What?"
American Dad!
"This council will come to order."
American Dad!
"devising a formidable code of ethics."
American Dad!
"Snot spit on that code when he tried to steal from me!"
American Dad!
"- [Quietly] Thank you. - Very well."
American Dad!
"Does the defense have a rebuttal?"
American Dad!
"[Chuckling]"
American Dad!
"Ethics he wants to talk about? [Scoffs]"
American Dad!
"Jewish history is a history of unethical conduct."
American Dad!
"First, the Pharisees killed Jesus Christ, the only true son of God."
American Dad!
"that theJews put a "secret sauce" on their Reubens..."
American Dad!
"And who shot Gianni Versace? Was it a Jew? I don't know. It was in Miami."
American Dad!
"All right! Enough of this meshuggaas."
American Dad!
"Snot, you are hereby banished from this temple..."
American Dad!
"and will never be bar mitzvahed."
American Dad!
"Wait! Snot had nothing to do with stealing Etan's gifts."
American Dad!
"- It was me. I did it. - [Others Gasp]"
American Dad!
"I planted those envelopes on him."
American Dad!
"I did it to get back at Etan for stealing my girlfriend."
American Dad!
"[Gasps] I'm not surprised."
American Dad!
"Steve, how could you?"
American Dad!
"If that is the case, young man, then Snot may indeed have his bar mitzvah ceremony."
American Dad!
"Look. I already lost my girlfriend. I can't lose my best friend."
American Dad!
"I promise I'll make it up to you."
American Dad!
"# Is illogical, Is illogical That, sir, is illogical ##"
American Dad!
"Steve, this is amazing. But how could you afford all this?"
American Dad!
"your long-lost relative from Alsace-Lorraine by way of Mykonos."
American Dad!
"# Good morning, U.S.A. #"
American Dad!
"I kno- Okay, I love you too. I have to go. Bye, Bubbe Judy."
American Dad!
"And, Debbie, a super shalom to you."
American Dad!
"Well, I gotta go shave. It's been a couple of days."
American Dad!
"- I'm mature. - You enjoyed- [High-pitched Fart]"
American Dad!
"Oh, you're having a laugh at me."
American Dad!
"so now I'm going to take what's precious... to him."
American Dad!
"I just get paid the most by far, but you all make it work."
American Dad!
"For God's sakes, I'm assembling my own crew."
American Dad!
"I need the world's greatest computer hacker..."
American Dad!
"Unfortunately, I wouldn't know how to begin to get ahold of them."
American Dad!
"- maturity. - [Crowd Gasps]"
American Dad!
"Ah, thanks, Uncle Howie."
American Dad!
"- What? Who? - I couldn't see."
American Dad!
"I pee sitting down because of my joints."
American Dad!
"- ## [Continues] - You're only spelling "A" and "C.""
American Dad!
"L-I'm signaling the deejay to play more adult contemporary."
American Dad!
"# For young men to enjoy #"
American Dad!
"# You can hang out with all the boys ##"
American Dad!
"[Gasps] It's happening. L-It's happening!"
American Dad!
"Steve, I have to wear this to my bar mitzvah!"
American Dad!
"- for "Brick House. '" - What the-"
American Dad!
"- Stop him! Stop Steve Smith! - [Crowd] Huh? Huh?"
American Dad!
"This is a card saying that Steve Smith..."
American Dad!
"Hey, am I crazy, or does this stain look like El Vez, the Mexican Elvis?"
American Dad!
"so you tried to ruin it!"
American Dad!
"not only will they kick you out of our temple, no other temple will take you."
American Dad!
"How'd the pitch go? They didn't buy it, huh?"
American Dad!
"There's only one way to save Snot's manhood."
American Dad!
"- Snot, I'm sorry. - "Sorry" doesn't cut it, Steve."
American Dad!
"[In Foreign Accent] Hello, Snot. I'm Ernest Schlumple..."
American Dad!
"Wait, how'd I get here? I think I'm cracked in the head."
American Dad!
"English - US - SDH"
American Dad!
"- Hey, Snot. - You know Etan, my bar mitzvah study buddy."
American Dad!
"Great job, everyone. Great job."
American Dad!
"- You're still trying to win back the fat one. - Right."
American Dad!
"- Are you Lucius Mayweather? - Who wants to know?"
American Dad!
"Okay. This is the layout of the ballroom."
American Dad!
"right after I drank a big cup of coffee."
American Dad!
"- [Applause] - ## [Soft Rock, Slow]"
American Dad!
"Wonder if he's inviting us as a couple? No need to wonder, Steve."
American Dad!
"- I'm talkin' to you, Aunt Rose. - [Laughter]"
American Dad!
"- [Crowd Groans] - ## [Soft Rock, Different Song]"
American Dad!
"# Good morning, U.S.A. # [Grunts]"
American Dad!
"## ['60s Lounge Latin]"
American Dad!
"## [Continues]"
American Dad!
"- [Fart] - Wait. Th-That wasn't me! I would never-"
American Dad!
"- [Beeps] - That was my grandmother. I call her every day."
American Dad!
"Why did I take consideration for others into account? Why?"
American Dad!
"I didn't see you at temple this year for Yom Kippur."
American Dad!
"And I'll sneak the money off Snot before he ever knows."
American Dad!
"Stealing from a bar mitzvah? Totes inappropes."
American Dad!
"- [Crowd Gasps] - ## [Ends] - Welcome!"
American Dad!
"She thinks Etan's more of a man than me."
American Dad!
"## ["Walk Like a Man"]"
American Dad!
"- [Fart] - [Laughs Loudly]"
American Dad!
"[Dance, With Sampled Voices] #Captain's log, Captain's log, Ca-Ca-Captain's log #"
American Dad!
"- Has anyone seen my cell phone? - No. - Nope. Hey!"
American Dad!
"Etan Cohen welcomes you to..."
American Dad!
"Charlie Sheen sleeps with whores then has breakfast with a fat child."
American Dad!
"- That's right. I'm gonna rob Etan Cohen's bar mitzvah! [Yelps] - Oh, my God."
American Dad!
"- [Speaking Japanese] - Yeah, on my mom's side."
American Dad!
"Excuse me, sir, but when I was in the bathroom..."
American Dad!
"[Steve Narrating] What no one will know is that Etan's money..."
American Dad!
"someone's trying to steal the gifts on the cart."
American Dad!
"Your Honors, our noble tribe has spent millennia..."
American Dad!
"[Chorus] #Good morning, U.S.A. ##"
American Dad!
"- [Farting] - [Crowd Laughing]"
American Dad!
"That's right. I'm almost at the bottom, so I gotta get off, okay? I gotta keep goin'."
American Dad!
"It's funny just talking about it."
American Dad!
"and the world's most flexible contortionist."
American Dad!
"- How would you doing a goofy accent have changed anything? - We'll never know now, will we?"
American Dad!
"Uh, there was supposed to be a calzone with this."
American Dad!