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Clips from Broad City (2014) - Apartment Hunters (S01E01)

"and I compose the "on hold" music."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, no, no, this is the "waiting room" music."
Broad City (2014)
"I'm actually the only person who works here."
Broad City (2014)
"Yikes."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, what are my options?"
Broad City (2014)
"Here."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, actually, no. Our system's down"
Broad City (2014)
"Sorry."
Broad City (2014)
"So do I."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, my God."
Broad City (2014)
"I really wanted to apologize for last night."
Broad City (2014)
"I put 'em in the shape of an "A" because"
Broad City (2014)
"I know how you like to label your food."
Broad City (2014)
"and-- and I was touching myself..."
Broad City (2014)
"Can we please not?"
Broad City (2014)
"So... Well, let me just--"
Broad City (2014)
"I like to start off slow, okay."
Broad City (2014)
"And then I like to work the tempo up and up and up."
Broad City (2014)
"And I'll-- I'll lick a thumb... Seriously, I-- This is--"
Broad City (2014)
"against the nipples. Why are we going over this?"
Broad City (2014)
"And then, there's a-- There's a--"
Broad City (2014)
"there's a sort of a (bleep) there."
Broad City (2014)
"I like to apply pressure to that slowly."
Broad City (2014)
"And then right when I'm (bleep), I (bleep),"
Broad City (2014)
"then I (bleep) into the (bleep), hard, hard, hard."
Broad City (2014)
"You know, it-- it-- it--"
Broad City (2014)
"Whoa, cool shirt."
Broad City (2014)
"You don't need tell me Sour Patch Kids are good,"
Broad City (2014)
"I know Sour Patch Kids are good."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, Lincoln, I don't have herpes,"
Broad City (2014)
"Ilana, there is a child right here."
Broad City (2014)
"Please. We're in New York."
Broad City (2014)
"And you're, like, 12, right?"
Broad City (2014)
"I'm seven, and you're being inappropriate."
Broad City (2014)
"Bitch, you're 22."
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, listen, your dentist and I, um,"
Broad City (2014)
"on the regular for about five months--"
Broad City (2014)
"For real? 18 months."
Broad City (2014)
"God."
Broad City (2014)
"Don't do drugs."
Broad City (2014)
"I just, like, don't know where I am a lot of the time."
Broad City (2014)
"I can't find that remote. I-- I--"
Broad City (2014)
"But wherever it is, I hope it's happy."
Broad City (2014)
"♪ Zombie on the track"
Broad City (2014)
"♪ Started from the bottom now my whole team here ♪"
Broad City (2014)
"Body Butter!"
Broad City (2014)
"Sorry."
Broad City (2014)
"Op-er-a-tor. Oppenheimer."
Broad City (2014)
"They are still charging me,"
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, right. That was..."
Broad City (2014)
"It's a hallway."
Broad City (2014)
"Let's just move on."
Broad City (2014)
"Can't let it get me down."
Broad City (2014)
"Your hand's on my ass. I'm like--"
Broad City (2014)
"I'm like-- I'm on the ladder."
Broad City (2014)
"I gotta get home and feed my Oscar fish."
Broad City (2014)
"Hello, how can I help you?"
Broad City (2014)
"Help!"
Broad City (2014)
"This isn't working for me."
Broad City (2014)
"No, please, I really need the money."
Broad City (2014)
"Like, certainly. Certainly, yes."
Broad City (2014)
"Eww..."
Broad City (2014)
"That dude just posted for women,"
Broad City (2014)
"All right."
Broad City (2014)
"Ilana? Hey, Dale."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah, me neither."
Broad City (2014)
"Our souls never merged dude."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah, man."
Broad City (2014)
"These are for you. "It's a boy"?"
Broad City (2014)
"Okay, please... All right."
Broad City (2014)
"Ilana, listen."
Broad City (2014)
"You don't have to pretend anymore."
Broad City (2014)
"This is unreal."
Broad City (2014)
"See, I told you you'd find something."
Broad City (2014)
"so you'll have the place to yourself a lot."
Broad City (2014)
"we would love to have you as a roommate."
Broad City (2014)
"I double dare ya!"
Broad City (2014)
"and toilets with two flush buttons-- cheers."
Broad City (2014)
"I did this."
Broad City (2014)
"Can I speak to your manager, please?"
Broad City (2014)
"You composed this music?"
Broad City (2014)
"You're only the fifth person ever to come in."
Broad City (2014)
"Listen, when you came in last night,"
Broad City (2014)
"I can't remember a thing!"
Broad City (2014)
"♪ Started from the bottom now my whole team here ♪"
Broad City (2014)
"♪ Started from the bottom now my whole team here ♪"
Broad City (2014)
"♪ Started from the bottom now we're here ♪"
Broad City (2014)
"Julianna Margulies!"
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah. Let's go here."
Broad City (2014)
"We have to-- Ah!"
Broad City (2014)
"We don't need to get into it."
Broad City (2014)
"I wake up, I'm like aah! It's scary."
Broad City (2014)
"Literally hundreds."
Broad City (2014)
"Me, too."
Broad City (2014)
"have been having... sexual intercourse"
Broad City (2014)
"Because we only deal with the cream."
Broad City (2014)
"and we only take nickels."
Broad City (2014)
"but no underwear in the underwears drawer."
Broad City (2014)
"If it ever gets weird, I'll get you out of there."
Broad City (2014)
"Look, I was calling to ask"
Broad City (2014)
"I don't want you moving in with a Craigslist killer."
Broad City (2014)
"Oh, sorry, this is Mark. Please, enter me."
Broad City (2014)
"To built-ins, countertops you can chop right on,"
Broad City (2014)
"Aren't you already high?"
Broad City (2014)
"and I'll have them in quarters, please."
Broad City (2014)
"Ilana, you invented the Instagram."
Broad City (2014)
"I thought you were someone else."
Broad City (2014)
"Yeah, so is mine, with myself, right?"
Broad City (2014)
"You're still being charged"
Broad City (2014)
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no-- hello?"
Broad City (2014)
"Bad sex. Really bad sex."
Broad City (2014)
"(Bleep) you, robot!"
Broad City (2014)
"Thanks for the balloons."
Broad City (2014)
"Hey, if she doesn't get the room, I might."
Broad City (2014)
"I almost never go."
Broad City (2014)
"Come on, we're leaving."
Broad City (2014)
"The one bathroom is in there."
Broad City (2014)
"♪ Four and three and two and one-- one ♪"
Broad City (2014)
"♪ Started from the bottom now the whole team here ♪"
Broad City (2014)
"♪ Now I'm on the road half a million for a show ♪"
Broad City (2014)
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