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Clips from Peep Show - Gregory's Beard (S09E09)

"'like a normal human being.' KNOCK ON DOOR"
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"'Maybe Gregory's minor headache was an aneurysm."
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"I am actually quite tired, so..."
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"She seems a lot happier, comfier in her own skin."
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"I hate it when that happens."
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"Yeah, so, um, I know we don't have that many heart-to-heart chats,"
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"but, um, there's something I need to talk to you about."
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"Uh-huh. 'I know nothing. Don't pre-empt.'"
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"but the fact is, this will come as something of a shock."
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"'Total surprise.'"
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"Earlier tonight, I had sex with a man in my bedroom,"
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"Yeah. And..."
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"I have feelings for this guy Joe,"
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"Not the kitchen, or-or the living room, or any other room in the flat?"
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"I'm talking about possibly"
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"the biggest thing that's ever happened in my life"
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"I thought I was just totally open, totally cool,"
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"but now I wonder if"
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"deep in there. Uh-huh, I get it, mate."
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"unheated, regular air temperature."
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"Hey, Dobs. Sorry, am I interrupting?"
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"Good luck!"
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"Sorry, it's just..."
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"but I do know, but it's not my fault."
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"Did you..."
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"Look, I'm sorry, Jez, but I've..."
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"Oh, my God! You watched me...?"
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"KNOCK ON DOOR"
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"Hey, Mark, Dobs forgot the charger. Can I grab it?"
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"I, er...must have seen you before..."
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"around."
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"You chose to go into my bedroom. You...you filmed yourself."
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"was bristling with surveillance equipment."
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"DOOR OPENS"
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"All right, Jez? Hans."
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"So, er, it's all cool with Molly."
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"Look, I just wanted to say about tonight, um...sorry..."
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"about the garrotting."
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"I fucked up a nice lift home for us there and, er,"
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"Bit like Jez with that bloke in your bed."
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"God, has the entire world seen this fucking video?"
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"I came here to talk to someone about this, get some perspective."
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"Turns out I can just read the fucking YouTube comments."
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"Yeah. They might be good comments."
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"Good afternoon. My name's Katie Mitchell..."
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"JEZ: 'First mistake - no bouncers at the wedding. I'm in."
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"'Plus, the great thing is,"
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"...to conduct this ceremony for them today."
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"So, it's my great pleasure..."
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"'We all want to look at our phones.'"
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"I will not fail nor falter."
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"I shall succeed. My perception is altered."
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"Nothing shall bar my way."
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"From conviction, no fiction."
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"This is my day."
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"I can move, move, move any mountain."
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"BOTH: I can move, move, move any mountain."
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"Simon? MARK: 'Simon?"
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"'Super Simon? Simon Hans?'"
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"...and into my heart."
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"You are the best of men."
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"JEZ: 'I think he might be the opposite of all those words.'"
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"I'm getting married."
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"And I would punch in the throat anyone who tried to stop me."
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"That is how I feel today, Molly."
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"I'd put a glass in the face of anyone"
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"I'd hospitalise them."
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"MARK: 'Mention the seven years working in Richer Sounds in Kew,"
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"'miss out the Thai jail,"
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"'on to the bands, drop the first marriage,"
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"'hit Jeremy and their long friendship,"
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"'minus all the bad blood and occasional sucking each other off, blah, blah."
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"'Wrap up with a toast to the bride and groom, Hans, or possibly Simon,"
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"'and his wife, whose Christian name I've unfortunately forgotten."
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"'Shit! I don't really know either of their names."
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"'There's Dobby. She doesn't like pasanda and quality TV drama."
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"'She likes hitchhiking and terrifying actual drama."
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"'I'm going to delete her off my GPS."
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"'Fuck! What the...'"
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"Oof! I know you're stalking Dobby."
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"I tracked your IP address. You still love her."
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"Gregory, believe me, I don't. I'm not. I've stopped."
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"When? Literally just now."
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"You douchebag!"
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"I promise you, I don't like her any more."
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"She always saying exactly what she's thinking,"
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"with no regards for the consequences"
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"and she's got weird hair, and she smokes."
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"Excuse me. Oi!"
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"Sorry, hi. Er, I'm afraid the, er, the best man, er, has gone AWOL."
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"Just freestyle it, man, yeah?"
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"But don't, er... Obviously, don't rap."
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"Hans..."
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"Super Hans..."
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"I've known Hans for many a year now."
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"It's been a long road and now, as you've found Molly,"
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"I don't really want to get into this, but I've started it now,"
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"but I'm going to bring it round, so don't worry."
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"People said Molly wasn't right for you. That she was a downer."
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"But you know what? If someone loves someone, he just...loves them."
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"And if that person is considered to be a downer,"
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"And even if someone loves another man...or..."
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"What's in a name?"
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"Is it possible to love two people at once? Three?"
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"Four is surely the limit."
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"But is it?"
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"Who are you to listen?"
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"Why is a marriage a marriage?"
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"even though..."
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"Is it OK because society says it's OK? What next?"
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"Dogs getting married?"
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"Could I marry my own son?"
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"No."
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"Possibly not?"
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"Correct."
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"Or is it? What I'm trying to say"
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"is that people should do whatever they want to do"
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"Thank you."
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"'Pretty sure someone's going to print that speech on a tea towel someday."
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"'I'm the best man. I'm the best man who ever lived.'"
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