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Clips from Please Like Me - Milk (S02E02)

so I told him about Mickey.

"so I told him about Mickey."

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- Of course. - Of course.

"- Of course. - Of course."

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- Who's Mickey? - Oh, my God, Patrick,

"- Who's Mickey? - Oh, my God, Patrick,"

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I cannot believe you don't know this. When I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend.

"I cannot believe you don't know this. When I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend."

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- The boy didn't respond well? - Nup,

"- The boy didn't respond well? - Nup,"

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It's finished. I'm too sad.

"It's finished. I'm too sad."

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- this stuff going on. - Just because of the boy?

"- this stuff going on. - Just because of the boy?"

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'Cause of this stuff, you know. The stuff.

"'Cause of this stuff, you know. The stuff."

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North Korea, I don't know.

"North Korea, I don't know."

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I mean, wow! I mean, that is personal.

"I mean, wow! I mean, that is personal."

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- Very personal, Tom. - It's very personal.

"- Very personal, Tom. - It's very personal."

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You suck all the fun out.

"You suck all the fun out."

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- You're very cool. - I'm not cool.

"- You're very cool. - I'm not cool."

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- I just don't think I'm cool. - Fuck off!

"- I just don't think I'm cool. - Fuck off!"

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Not tonight.

"Not tonight."

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I don't go out with you guys that often.

"I don't go out with you guys that often."

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What do you want to talk about?

"What do you want to talk about?"

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Ah, you talk about hip-hop music.

"Ah, you talk about hip-hop music."

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OK,

"OK,"

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- we can cheer you up. - You're saying that now, although

"- we can cheer you up. - You're saying that now, although"

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in five minutes, you'll just be off kissing some girl.

"in five minutes, you'll just be off kissing some girl."

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- It's not that surprising. - Oh, fuck off!

"- It's not that surprising. - Oh, fuck off!"

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Do you guys have a lighter?

"Do you guys have a lighter?"

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No, Patrick. No, we do not have a lighter.

"No, Patrick. No, we do not have a lighter."

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Cool dude Patrick lighting one of his cool dude cigarettes.

"Cool dude Patrick lighting one of his cool dude cigarettes."

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Too much telling him that he smells horrible.

"Too much telling him that he smells horrible."

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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Remember when you told him to fuck off?

"Remember when you told him to fuck off?"

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- Shut up, OK. - Twice.

"- Shut up, OK. - Twice."

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- What are you doing? - I'm marketing you.

"- What are you doing? - I'm marketing you."

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♪ My mother's gonna turn a blind eye ♪

"♪ My mother's gonna turn a blind eye ♪"

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♪ Oh, yeah ♪

"♪ Oh, yeah ♪"

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♪ Make my mama turn another blind eye ♪

"♪ Make my mama turn another blind eye ♪"

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♪ I left better behind I'll be fine. ♪

"♪ I left better behind I'll be fine. ♪"

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Did your sluts leave?

"Did your sluts leave?"

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Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

"Oh, my God, I'm so sorry."

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I promise I didn't do anything bad.

"I promise I didn't do anything bad."

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Nup, I couldn't look past the bandana.

"Nup, I couldn't look past the bandana."

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Tom, what could the irony in a bandana be?

"Tom, what could the irony in a bandana be?"

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OK, I'm gonna make some tea. Do you guys want some tea?

"OK, I'm gonna make some tea. Do you guys want some tea?"

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I'm gonna go back to sleep.

"I'm gonna go back to sleep."

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OK.

"OK."

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I thought you were making tea.

"I thought you were making tea."

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I'm not making tea for just you and me. That's ridiculous.

"I'm not making tea for just you and me. That's ridiculous."

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Of course.

"Of course."

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My Josh is gay and he says that Oprah isn't good for people

"My Josh is gay and he says that Oprah isn't good for people"

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because she keeps telling everyone they can be better

"because she keeps telling everyone they can be better"

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He says that everybody seems to think

"He says that everybody seems to think"

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it's really good to be aspirational

"it's really good to be aspirational"

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but what we need is more people to believe it's really good

"but what we need is more people to believe it's really good"

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I mean, it must be really hard to do what she did

"I mean, it must be really hard to do what she did"

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while she was struggling with those weight issues.

"while she was struggling with those weight issues."

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I think she probably had a thyroid problem.

"I think she probably had a thyroid problem."

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I mean, she's finished now, isn't she?

"I mean, she's finished now, isn't she?"

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He loves Ellen, loves her.

"He loves Ellen, loves her."

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It's 'cause he's gay.

"It's 'cause he's gay."

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You know I think what the problem is?

"You know I think what the problem is?"

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Like, they're scared of their bodies

"Like, they're scared of their bodies"

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and because they're scared they consume stuff.

"and because they're scared they consume stuff."

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And then because of that, the environment's got no chance

"And then because of that, the environment's got no chance"

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The world's gone completely mad.

"The world's gone completely mad."

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And they're scared of sex.

"And they're scared of sex."

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They're scared that people might think they're a slut

"They're scared that people might think they're a slut"

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or they're gonna get gonorrhoea and they're scared of love

"or they're gonna get gonorrhoea and they're scared of love"

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because they think, 'Oh, yeah, someone's going to break my heart.'

"because they think, 'Oh, yeah, someone's going to break my heart.'"

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Everyone's terrified, all the time.

"Everyone's terrified, all the time."

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Ah, Josh.

"Ah, Josh."

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Oh, no, no, no, that's alright.

"Oh, no, no, no, that's alright."

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I'm good, I'm fine over here.

"I'm good, I'm fine over here."

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No, no, no, pick her up. Pick her up.

"No, no, no, pick her up. Pick her up."

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No, I don't trust myself with her, I'm scared I'll break her.

"No, I don't trust myself with her, I'm scared I'll break her."

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You can't break them, Josh.

"You can't break them, Josh."

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I drop her all the time, Josh.

"I drop her all the time, Josh."

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Alright, here we go. Are you ready?

"Alright, here we go. Are you ready?"

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Hey.

"Hey."

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Do you have the brain capacity to understand love?

"Do you have the brain capacity to understand love?"

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- Oh, jeez. - Is that enough?

"- Oh, jeez. - Is that enough?"

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- Are we done now? - I have to feed her anyway.

"- Are we done now? - I have to feed her anyway."

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What exactly is your plan to help me breastfeed, Alan?

"What exactly is your plan to help me breastfeed, Alan?"

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You still at uni? Yeah.

"You still at uni? Yeah."

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- Why wouldn't I be? - I don't know, you don't tell me much anymore.

"- Why wouldn't I be? - I don't know, you don't tell me much anymore."

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Yeah, that's not a new thing.

"Yeah, that's not a new thing."

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- about Grace. - OK.

"- about Grace. - OK."

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Her being here doesn't change anything between us.

"Her being here doesn't change anything between us."

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It's just that... I just want you to know that, you know,

"It's just that... I just want you to know that, you know,"

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- I'm still your Dad, OK. - OK, yeah.

"- I'm still your Dad, OK. - OK, yeah."

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Hanging out the exact same amount, alright.

"Hanging out the exact same amount, alright."

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OK, you obviously don't want to talk about it.

"OK, you obviously don't want to talk about it."

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Alright, no, it's alright. It's alright.

"Alright, no, it's alright. It's alright."

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- You've been studying for five years. - Yeah, I changed courses.

"- You've been studying for five years. - Yeah, I changed courses."

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actually qualifies you for.

"actually qualifies you for."

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Film, design, dance?

"Film, design, dance?"

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- It's a multi-skilled course. - I've never seen you dance.

"- It's a multi-skilled course. - I've never seen you dance."

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Well, that's a shame because

"Well, that's a shame because"

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I'm very graceful.

"I'm very graceful."

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Have you been seeing your mum?

"Have you been seeing your mum?"

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but other than that, you know, she's good.

"but other than that, you know, she's good."

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Why aren't you more involved with your sister?

"Why aren't you more involved with your sister?"

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Oh, wow, I mean, you really have quite a list of things to talk about.

"Oh, wow, I mean, you really have quite a list of things to talk about."

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I don't know how to interact with her at the moment, alright.

"I don't know how to interact with her at the moment, alright."

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I'll get involved when she has more to offer.

"I'll get involved when she has more to offer."

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- Really, when will that be? - Ah, when she's 16.

"- Really, when will that be? - Ah, when she's 16."

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I guess...

"I guess..."

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and some...

"and some..."

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- Babysit. - Oh, no.

"- Babysit. - Oh, no."

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I mean, that's a bad idea, isn't it?

"I mean, that's a bad idea, isn't it?"

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- No? - You're doing it.

"- No? - You're doing it."

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I'm not doing it. I don't need responsibility.

"I'm not doing it. I don't need responsibility."

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I don't need baby responsibility.

"I don't need baby responsibility."

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That's not my choice, that's your choice.

"That's not my choice, that's your choice."

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So are you going to babysit?

"So are you going to babysit?"

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Aw, she's so cute.

"Aw, she's so cute."

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Is she?

"Is she?"

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I just can't get my head around the fact that I could make a child.

"I just can't get my head around the fact that I could make a child."

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Yeah, every time I look at my sperm, it doesn't

"Yeah, every time I look at my sperm, it doesn't"

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seem that magical.

"seem that magical."

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Do you know what I mean? It never looks that impressive.

"Do you know what I mean? It never looks that impressive."

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I think at best, mine would make a Tamagotchi.

"I think at best, mine would make a Tamagotchi."

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I can't wait to be a dad.

"I can't wait to be a dad."

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- She's your sister. - Hmm...

"- She's your sister. - Hmm..."

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