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Clips from Community (2009) - Physical Education (S01E01)

"Than a half-polish, half-arab virgin in his 30s."
Community (2009)
"That story ends with an explosion."
Community (2009)
"Let's try a practice run."
Community (2009)
"And be a girl."
Community (2009)
"Abed, you take a run at her."
Community (2009)
"Let's see what you got."
Community (2009)
"Hmm."
Community (2009)
"What are you reading?"
Community (2009)
"So you're familiar with two sins."
Community (2009)
"How about a third?"
Community (2009)
"Oh!"
Community (2009)
"Then you picked the wrong outfit."
Community (2009)
"Abed, what are you doing?"
Community (2009)
"i>- Don draper from mad men. What'd you think?"
Community (2009)
"- Weird. - Awesome."
Community (2009)
"Put your tongue in her ear."
Community (2009)
"He cheats on his wife."
Community (2009)
"Be somebody nice, like mike brady."
Community (2009)
"He always had that housekeeper throwing herself at him,"
Community (2009)
"And he never made a move on her."
Community (2009)
"Don't be mike brady. Mike brady's not sexy."
Community (2009)
"You should be like jo from facts of life."
Community (2009)
"But, you know, the dude version."
Community (2009)
"I knew it."
Community (2009)
"You should be like calvin."
Community (2009)
"His best friend was a tiger."
Community (2009)
"He always went on dope adventures."
Community (2009)
"If anything stood in his way, he just peed on it."
Community (2009)
"Calvin coolidge?"
Community (2009)
"No, you guys, don draper was clearly the sexiest."
Community (2009)
"What are you guys doing?"
Community (2009)
"They're teaching me how to be someone else."
Community (2009)
"Oh, for god's sake. What did I tell you guys?"
Community (2009)
"Whoa! That's a good jeff."
Community (2009)
"How'd you do that?"
Community (2009)
"10% dick van dyke, 20% sam malone,"
Community (2009)
"And 30% hilary swank in boys don't cry."
Community (2009)
"- Zach braff? - Sorry."
Community (2009)
"Abed, what if you just did jeff for jenny?"
Community (2009)
"Uh, and your point is?"
Community (2009)
"And I can't believe that you're still doing it..."
Community (2009)
"After I already explained the obvious lessons,"
Community (2009)
"Smacking you in the face."
Community (2009)
"Hey, why aren't you in billiards class?"
Community (2009)
"Because I don't look cool in shorts!"
Community (2009)
"Oh!"
Community (2009)
"'cause I'm not cool in shorts!"
Community (2009)
"that was good."
Community (2009)
"- Just like him. - That was really good."
Community (2009)
"I don't want to spoil the ending, but, uh..."
Community (2009)
"Pride ends up with prejudice."
Community (2009)
"that's funny."
Community (2009)
"I know. Stick with me, and you'll get a laugh or two."
Community (2009)
"That's the abed guarantee."
Community (2009)
"I feel like I've seen you before."
Community (2009)
"- It's working. - I know."
Community (2009)
"I get that a lot, from art students."
Community (2009)
"I'm told I have a face made for sketching."
Community (2009)
"I'd rather think it was made for kissing."
Community (2009)
"What are you doing hitting on my girlfriend, ugly?"
Community (2009)
"This is awkward."
Community (2009)
"Oh, my god."
Community (2009)
"- I-I-I--it's like abed, but employable."
Community (2009)
"- Let's do this, huh, boss? - Let's go, slumdog."
Community (2009)
"And one last lost and found announcement,"
Community (2009)
"Jeff winger, I've been informed by coach bogner..."
Community (2009)
"That you left your panties in his pool class."
Community (2009)
"So better pick those up."
Community (2009)
"When is he gonna stop doing that? Do you know that he called me a hipster?"
Community (2009)
"Hipster!"
Community (2009)
"Thanks to us, his heart's been broken."
Community (2009)
"Well, I hate to say that I told you so."
Community (2009)
"So I'll shout it through cupped hands."
Community (2009)
"I told you so!"
Community (2009)
"We were only trying to help."
Community (2009)
"Oh, come on. Who are we kidding?"
Community (2009)
"Jeff's right-- abed was happy being abed,"
Community (2009)
"Till we had to sully his mind with thoughts of love..."
Community (2009)
"And romance...And vaginas."
Community (2009)
"Those are the big three. That's what they call them."
Community (2009)
"Poor abed, he's probably too sad..."
Community (2009)
"To get out of bed this morning."
Community (2009)
"Hi."
Community (2009)
"Abed."
Community (2009)
"About yesterday--"
Community (2009)
"Oh, yeah."
Community (2009)
"You guys must be pretty upset."
Community (2009)
"i>- Why would we be upset?"
Community (2009)
"Well, I know how important it was for you..."
Community (2009)
"That I get a girlfriend."
Community (2009)
"It must have really hurt."
Community (2009)
"- Ah, it did. - White abed?"
Community (2009)
"Jenny's boyfriend is a white guy..."
Community (2009)
"That's almost identical to abed."
Community (2009)
"Name is joey, and that's why the sketch was in troy's book."
Community (2009)
"So does that make abed "brown joey"?"
Community (2009)
"If you want to get racist about it."
Community (2009)
"Abed, you know we just want you..."
Community (2009)
"To be happy, right?"
Community (2009)
"Yeah, I know. Everybody wants me to be happy."
Community (2009)
"Everybody wants to help me."
Community (2009)
"But usually, when they find out they can't,"
Community (2009)
"Or they trick me into buying them ice cream..."
Community (2009)
"Which I didn't want to happen with you guys,"
Community (2009)
"So I wanted to make sure that you felt like you could help me."
Community (2009)
"The truth is, lots of girls like me,"
Community (2009)
"Because, let's face it, I'm pretty adorable."
Community (2009)
"And my aloofness unconsciously reminds them..."
Community (2009)
"Of their fathers, so..."
Community (2009)
"I'm more used to them approaching me."
Community (2009)
"So we didn't damage your sel f-esteem or anything?"
Community (2009)
"Britta, I got sel f-esteem falling out of my butt."
Community (2009)
"That's why I was willing to change for you guys."
Community (2009)
"Because when you really know who you are..."
Community (2009)
"And what you like about yourself,"
Community (2009)
"Abed..."
Community (2009)
"You're a god."
Community (2009)
"I have a man to beat in pool while wearing shorts."
Community (2009)
"nice."
Community (2009)
"Is that code for going number one..."
Community (2009)
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