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Clips from Night Court - All You Need Is Love (S01E01)

"Are there any English-speaking people here tonight?"
Night Court
"All right, then let's flip the coin again. Let's decide the Kerr case."
Night Court
"I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm saying."
Night Court
"Phil, was there anything you wanted to say to your wife before I flip?"
Night Court
"- Okay. - It was your own fault for trying to shoot me."
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"Do you think I would take a chance on hurting you?"
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"Is that true, Louise?"
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"What, I mean..."
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"...you think I nursed him through three bouts of pneumonia..."
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"...and a gallbladder operation just to fill him full of lead?"
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"You mean you weren't trying to hurt me?"
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"Louise, I... I..."
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"- I... - Say it, Phil. Say it!"
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"- And I love you, Phil. - Then what are we doing here?"
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"- Phil, can we forget this whole thing? - I'd like to. I really would."
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"- Your Honor... - Oh, come on, Phil, one more flip."
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"Heads, we send her up the river, tails, you take her home."
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"No. Every time you flip that, it comes up heads."
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"Well, of course it does, it's a double-headed coin."
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"Come on. You didn't think I believed in luck, did you?"
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"- All right. Philip Kerr. - Yes, sir."
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"- Louise Kerr. - Yes, sir."
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"By the power vested in me by the state of New York..."
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"...I pronounce you..."
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"...a little better off than you were when you came in."
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"I had a husband just like that."
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"Well, I'm beat."
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"How about you guys?"
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"- I'll do anything you want. - Terrific. You guys sort it out."
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"...and do some judge stuff."
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"- Any questions? - Just one."
Night Court
"You know, Dan, that's a funny story."
Night Court
"It was the mayor's last day in office, and it was a Sunday."
Night Court
"They start calling folks, starting at the top of the list."
Night Court
"So they keep calling down the list name by name."
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"No one answers. Finally, they get down to the bottom of the list..."
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"...and voilà."
Night Court
"You mean you were appointed a judge because..."
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"I was home."
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"There will be a 10-minute recess."
Night Court
"Pass it on."
Night Court
"Your Honor?"
Night Court
"I'm gonna marry the girl that's impressed by that."
Night Court
"Oh, yes. They're ready to lock up now."
Night Court
"By the way, thanks a lot for being patient with me tonight."
Night Court
"Yeah, we noticed."
Night Court
"My name was at the bottom of that list of prospective judges..."
Night Court
"...because I haven't had much experience, really."
Night Court
"But every candidate does go through a thorough screening process."
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"And whatever anybody thinks of that list..."
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"Good night, Miss Wagner."
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"What you did out here tonight..."
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"...was beautiful."
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"Oh, in a bohemian sort of way."
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"No, no. I mean it."
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"You saved that marriage..."
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"...and the 27 years of love and memories and fulfillment that go along with it."
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"Good night."
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"About my job..."
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"...to call you Harry."
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"Then it's fortunate I have that name."
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"Then what are you doing?"
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"How are you?"
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"What?"
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"Not yet, Sheila. Good evening, Daniel."
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"I said, he is not here."
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"Cover me."
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"Blocky and Lefty must be caught in traffic."
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"Their chromosomes aren't normal, and they all look like Slinkys."
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"Louise has been trying. This dude won't give her a chance."
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"Romance has sort of been replaced by a really good night's sleep?"
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"Heads again. It's your lucky day."
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"Does anybody understand what I'm saying here?"
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"The defense wants heads, Your Honor!"
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"Tails, we let her go."
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"Seven years?"
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"Shoot, "shmoot." I fired straight up in the air."
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"Oh, yeah?"
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"- I beg your pardon? - You were about to say?"
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"It would be an honor..."
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"I'm just talking, folks. You get it?"
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"And my name was at the bottom of a list of a thousand candidates."
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"Your Honor, I feel that it's my duty to discuss with you your behavior..."
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"...but it was predictable."
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"- Early on. - Yeah, early on."
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"You can talk while you're doing this. Come on. Come on, come on."
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"I'm going for an ambulance."
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"Judge Stone."
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"Thanks."
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"Well, there were some okay times."
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"- In his office? - No, I guess not."
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"...to investigate a suspect judge."
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"Can you give it to me in a nutshell?"
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"...fires a couple of shots, misses them both by a mile..."
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"I'm gonna go to my chambers..."
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"...I was on it."
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