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Clips from Nathan for You - Hotel/Travel Agent (S03E03)

"you'll find someone pretty quick."
Nathan for You
"to see if the public would embrace my idea."
Nathan for You
"We're offering a service."
Nathan for You
"We'll take you."
Nathan for You
"I-I know you don't want to do it,"
Nathan for You
"- And in that moment, for the first time,"
Nathan for You
"people don't trust their fellow man the way they once did."
Nathan for You
"of the unknown that once they shut their mind off,"
Nathan for You
"- Oh. Where are you guys gonna go?"
Nathan for You
"- I don't know yet. Maybe fish."
Nathan for You
"- That's what it would be, so..."
Nathan for You
"too afraid of the unknown to let a stranger inside."
Nathan for You
"♪ Dreaming of a life outside my little town ♪"
Nathan for You
"- Highway blues. - I'm sorry to hear that."
Nathan for You
"- Oh, yeah. Yeah."
Nathan for You
"[deep inhale]"
Nathan for You
"to help struggling small business owners make it"
Nathan for You
"This is "Nathan for You.""
Nathan for You
"chances are you'll stay at the iconic Hilltop Hotel."
Nathan for You
"they will stay a lot longer than the other guests."
Nathan for You
"- But as far as I'm concerned,"
Nathan for You
"if you want to attract families,"
Nathan for You
"So I paid Kenny a visit with a way to help."
Nathan for You
"if their relationship's going well,"
Nathan for You
"they'll usually have sex, right?"
Nathan for You
"- [laughs]"
Nathan for You
"That's common sense."
Nathan for You
"because they're unable to engage in sexual intercourse"
Nathan for You
"- [laughing] You know what?"
Nathan for You
"I never, ever really pay attention to this matter."
Nathan for You
"leading to permanent developmental damage"
Nathan for You
"which can never be repaired."
Nathan for You
"But if the Hilltop Hotel could offer a portable soundproof box"
Nathan for You
"that completely isolates the child"
Nathan for You
"they'd quickly become the top hotel choice"
Nathan for You
"The plan:"
Nathan for You
"- Then, it would still be inside...the room."
Nathan for You
"as some prison they're forced into."
Nathan for You
"It would be a fun isolation box"
Nathan for You
"that kids of all ages would enjoy."
Nathan for You
"- Um..."
Nathan for You
"- Every single thing that kids would love"
Nathan for You
"could go into that box."
Nathan for You
"I mean, you know, little flashlights, you know,"
Nathan for You
"he wanted to see a working prototype."
Nathan for You
"to house a child up to 16 years of age."
Nathan for You
"But since the most important part was the soundproofing,"
Nathan for You
"with 6 inches of rock wool batting"
Nathan for You
"and then added a cork-lined inner chamber"
Nathan for You
"with a pressurized seal that would eliminate vibrations."
Nathan for You
"Because the box had to be airtight,"
Nathan for You
"I also installed a self-contained breathing system"
Nathan for You
"so the child wouldn't suffocate."
Nathan for You
"to play inside the box with custom animal calls"
Nathan for You
"that would hopefully camouflage"
Nathan for You
"Ooh-ooh-ee-ee-ah-ahh...."
Nathan for You
"[grunting] Ruh-ruh-ah..."
Nathan for You
"Oooooooh..."
Nathan for You
"With every precaution taken"
Nathan for You
"and the box now decorated to make it exciting for kids,"
Nathan for You
"But I knew that if even one sex noise"
Nathan for You
"happened to get through to the inside,"
Nathan for You
"So after setting up the box in one of their suites,"
Nathan for You
"I hired two pornographic performers"
Nathan for You
"and then it gets more and more or--"
Nathan for You
"- It kind of depends on the scene."
Nathan for You
"I mean, usually, like, sometimes, there's kissing."
Nathan for You
"Sometimes, it just goes straight to blowjob."
Nathan for You
"- Oh, okay. - Yeah."
Nathan for You
"- While Tony and Holly got ready in the bathroom,"
Nathan for You
"Hey. - Hi."
Nathan for You
"- How's it going? I'm Nathan. Nice to meet you."
Nathan for You
"- What the heck?"
Nathan for You
"- Pretty cool fort, huh? - Yeah."
Nathan for You
"You see? That light?"
Nathan for You
"I sealed him inside the chamber..."
Nathan for You
"and ruin his innocence."
Nathan for You
"Even though Bradley's parents"
Nathan for You
"were fully aware of what was about to happen,"
Nathan for You
"- Okay."
Nathan for You
"- Okay. - And with that,"
Nathan for You
"I brought Jurgen and Marie into the room so we could begin."
Nathan for You
"- Okay. Whenever you're ready. - Oh, we're ready."
Nathan for You
"- I love you so much, Marie."
Nathan for You
"- Touch me where I like it, Jurgen."
Nathan for You
"- I gave them your names to make it more realistic."
Nathan for You
"- Okay."
Nathan for You
"- Watch and learn, hon. [laughs]"
Nathan for You
"- [moaning] Oh..."
Nathan for You
"Oh, you like it when I beg for that [bleep],"
Nathan for You
"don't you, Jurgen?"
Nathan for You
"[moans] Ah!"
Nathan for You
"Okay. I'll take care of him. - Okay. Thanks."
Nathan for You
"- See you, guys."
Nathan for You
"Oh, God, Jurgen!"
Nathan for You
"- Once I observed the couple had climaxed,"
Nathan for You
"I knew it wasn't gonna get any louder,"
Nathan for You
"so I had them finish up"
Nathan for You
"and brought in something comfortable for them to put on."
Nathan for You
"And with Holly and Tony out of the room,"
Nathan for You
"So what was it like being in outer space?"
Nathan for You
"- Animal noises."
Nathan for You
"- Animal noises?"
Nathan for You
"- No. - Nothing?"
Nathan for You
"- Nothing."
Nathan for You
"I needed to make sure it held up"
Nathan for You
"So to put it through the ultimate stress test,"
Nathan for You
"I arranged for an additional five performers"
Nathan for You
"to join Tony and Holly for a seven-person orgy."
Nathan for You
"Just wanna say hi?"
Nathan for You
"You know the drill, right? - Yeah."
Nathan for You
"- Blast off."
Nathan for You
"it would hold up in any situation"
Nathan for You
"I followed up one more time with Bradley."
Nathan for You
"- Awesome."
Nathan for You
"- Nothing."
Nathan for You
"[laughs] Wow."
Nathan for You
"It looks like a space shuttle."
Nathan for You
"- Oh, God, Jurgen!"
Nathan for You
"[both moaning loudly]"
Nathan for You
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