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Clips from Modern Family - Pilot (S01E01)

"I still can't believe you did this to me."
Modern Family
"[Doorbell Rings]"
Modern Family
"- Oh, God. - Okay, I'm gonna go get Lily ready."
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"Okay. And I want you to just come straight out with it."
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"All right. Okay. You can do this."
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"Yeah. Sports guy chest bump."
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"No. Sports guy chest bump."
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"Cam. Oh! All right. Go. Do it. Go."
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"Sorry. Oh."
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"[Exhales]"
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"Hey. Hi. Hey."
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"How are you? Hi, guys. Hey."
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"That looks good. Oh, thank you. Thanks."
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"Don't thank us. Open it. Dad is coming right behind."
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"[Jay] Knock, knock! We're here. Coming in!"
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"Don't worry, Dad. Nothing gay going on here."
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"May I take your multicolored coat and bejeweled cap?"
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"Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Jay."
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"Gloria, hi. Hi."
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"How are you? Hi, Dad. Hi, Gloria. How are you?"
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"Oh, what a beautiful dress. Ay, thank you, Phil."
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"That's how she says "Phil." Not "feel." Phil. Oh."
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"Um- Uh, we didn't just go to Vietnam for pleasure."
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"Oh, God. If Cam comes out here with boobs, I'm leaving."
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"Oh, don't mind her. Haley had her first boy over today..."
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"and Phil shot him."
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"Anyway, um, so, about- about a year ago,"
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"for something more, like, uh, maybe a baby?"
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"- Ooh, that's a bad idea. - What do you mean, "bad idea"?"
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"Well, kids need a mother. I mean if you two guys are bored, get a dog."
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"Okay, we're not bored, Dad."
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"I support you, Mitchell, even though you're not my son."
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"I-I-I-I think what Dad is trying to say..."
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"is that, Mitchell, you're a little uptight."
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"- Kids bring chaos, and- and you don't handle it well. - That's not what Dad's saying."
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"That's what you're saying. And it's insulting in a whole different way."
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"Okay, people. Let's all "chillax.""
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"Someone who's not insulting me notices he's not here."
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"Oh, so that's the big announcement, huh? You two broke up."
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"Well- Well, a baby wasn't gonna help that anyway."
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"And let me tell you. You're better off, because he was a bit of a drama queen."
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"No, no, no. Stop. Stop. No."
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"You come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend,"
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"who, by the way, is not that dramatic-"
Modern Family
"♪♪ [Stereo: Man Singing In Zulu] Oh, God."
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"♪♪ [Chorus Singing In Zulu]"
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"[Man] ♪ It's the circle of life ♪"
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"We adopted a baby. ♪ And it moves us all ♪"
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"Exciting! Just turn it off."
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"I can't turn it off. It's who I am."
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"The music. Oh, yes, the music. [Chuckles]"
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"♪♪ [Stops] Come say hi to Lily."
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"Ay, miren a la princesita. The little princess. [Haley] She's so cute!"
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"So cute. Thank you."
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"[Claire] Let me see her. Let me see her. Let me see her."
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"Hi there, Lily."
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""Lily." Isn't that gonna be hard for her to say? [Haley] So cute."
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"Phil. Excuse me."
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"Okay, I-I-I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea."
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"I mean, it's not like I wrote the book on fatherhood."
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"- Right, Manny? - I wrote a song about it in the car."
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"Of course you did. Uh-"
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"Anyway, I'm happy for you. And, uh, you should know that, uh,"
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"I'm not here to spit in your face,"
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"I'm here to... blow at your back."
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"I don't understand what that means. I don't-"
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"Voy a ser la brisa en tu espalda, no quien te escupa en la frente."
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"Oh, that's beautiful. That's really nice."
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"And thank you too."
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"Anyhow, Mitch, uh-"
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"She wants her grandpa! She wants her daddy!"
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"Do you wanna meet Grandpa? What? Are you kidding?"
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"She's one of us now. Let me see the little pot sticker. [Chuckling]"
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"Hey, you're a cutie, aren't you?"
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"Ah. Look at this. [All Fussing]"
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"[Jay] We're from different worlds, yet we somehow fit together."
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"Love is what binds us,"
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"through fair or stormy weather."
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"I stand before you now with only one agenda-"
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""To let you know my heart is yours,"
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"Feldman comma Brenda.""
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"I mean, seriously."
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"It's 2-0. 2-0. Okay. Okay."
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"[Grunting]"
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"Get that weak stuff out of my kitchen! Dad, stop it!"
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"Can you do me a favor? Just grab-"
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"But when the day comes that he does win-"
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"if- you know- if/when-"
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"he beats me, I'm just gonna be like,"
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""Well done. Well done.""
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"Just, like, let him- Just support him..."
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"in- in- in that kind of stuff."
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"She is not a girl. She's a woman."
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"Manny's very passionate, just like his father."
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"suddenly turns into this huge fight."
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"let the eyes do the work."
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"One minute you're just friends, watching Falcon Crest,"
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"[Doorbell Ringing] [Knocking]"
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"We, uh, kind of have some big news."
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"Cam and I started feeling this longing, you know,"
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"- No, Dad, it's- it's- - [Lily Crying]"
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"I got her. I got her. Oh, she's crying."
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"Luke, so far, hasn't beaten me in basketball."
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"Ooh! How's the weather down there?"
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"Hi. Hey, you must be Dylan."
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"Sweetie, hang on a second."
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"Okay. Nice- Nice soft landing. There you go."
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"[Shoots] Ow!"
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