Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Mr. Mayor - Avocado Crisis (S01E01)

"- [chuckles] Thank you."
Mr. Mayor
"- So yesterday,"
Mr. Mayor
"you said your trucks hadn't gone out all week."
Mr. Mayor
"- Or are they?"
Mr. Mayor
"- See... [electricity buzzing]"
Mr. Mayor
"When I went out to move that truck,"
Mr. Mayor
"the headlights were on."
Mr. Mayor
"The lights were on, and the battery wasn't dead."
Mr. Mayor
"That truck had been driven recently, at night."
Mr. Mayor
"- Ah. What's that supposed to prove?"
Mr. Mayor
"I'm only fidgeting like this"
Mr. Mayor
"because of my oversized genitals."
Mr. Mayor
"- So I talked to one of your drivers."
Mr. Mayor
"- You must be mistaken. I don't have any drivers."
Mr. Mayor
"I had to lay them off."
Mr. Mayor
"- I was confused, too, until I went out"
Mr. Mayor
"to your warehouse in Santa Clarita,"
Mr. Mayor
"and while Jayden distracted the dog..."
Mr. Mayor
"- With kisses. - Guess what I found in there."
Mr. Mayor
"'Cados."
Mr. Mayor
"Whole warehouse full of 'em."
Mr. Mayor
"That drought didn't ruin your harvest."
Mr. Mayor
"It was just an excuse for you to stockpile avocados"
Mr. Mayor
"to drive the prices up"
Mr. Mayor
"while you took a handout from my taxpayers."
Mr. Mayor
"You weren't gonna ship in any water."
Mr. Mayor
"You were just gonna ship that money to your own pocket."
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh, snap."
Mr. Mayor
"- Yeah, and you almost got away with it too."
Mr. Mayor
"- Except I'm still holding all the cards, Mr. Mayor."
Mr. Mayor
"You can't afford for the shortage to go on much longer."
Mr. Mayor
"Your own staff said you need some positive press,"
Mr. Mayor
"so you need me."
Mr. Mayor
"Tick-o-tockety, friend."
Mr. Mayor
"- Wait, is that supposed to be a clock?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Tick-o-tockety for you."
Mr. Mayor
"Give that guy a squeeze."
Mr. Mayor
"- It's not hard!"
Mr. Mayor
"They're ripening too early!"
Mr. Mayor
"- I think that the City of Los Angeles"
Mr. Mayor
"will keep its money,"
Mr. Mayor
"'cause if you don't get those avocados on the street,"
Mr. Mayor
"you're toast."
Mr. Mayor
"Plain toast."
Mr. Mayor
"- You son of a bitch!"
Mr. Mayor
"- Now, get out of here."
Mr. Mayor
"We don't have time for you!"
Mr. Mayor
"- [laughs]"
Mr. Mayor
"[triumphant music]"
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"You okay? - Mm-hmm."
Mr. Mayor
"I got scared when he threw the--"
Mr. Mayor
"- Which brings us to the end."
Mr. Mayor
"So what do you say?"
Mr. Mayor
"Take it to the mayor for real?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Absolutely not."
Mr. Mayor
"- I'm sorry, what?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Arpi, if we deprivatize the borings process,"
Mr. Mayor
"there may be a period of time where we can't guarantee"
Mr. Mayor
"the safety of LA's drinking water?"
Mr. Mayor
"- 24 hours max, people can stockpile."
Mr. Mayor
"Fill bathtubs."
Mr. Mayor
"- You can't mess with people's water, Arpi."
Mr. Mayor
"When I was hydration czar for the Fyre Festival,"
Mr. Mayor
"it went sideways fast."
Mr. Mayor
"Billy McFarland hired Adriana Lima"
Mr. Mayor
"to captain the Evian boat, and she sank it,"
Mr. Mayor
"and then 20,000 stoned idiots panicked"
Mr. Mayor
"and started drinking salt water."
Mr. Mayor
"You should just watch the documentary."
Mr. Mayor
"I look so thin."
Mr. Mayor
"And that took place on a mountain of guano"
Mr. Mayor
"in the middle of the ocean,"
Mr. Mayor
"but LA is a desert with 3 million stoned idiots."
Mr. Mayor
"We do not want to be"
Mr. Mayor
"the Billy McFarlands of Los Angeles,"
Mr. Mayor
"so it's a hard no, Arpi."
Mr. Mayor
"- Huh."
Mr. Mayor
"Well, obviously, I'm disappointed, but..."
Mr. Mayor
"you seem to know what you're talking about."
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh, I do."
Mr. Mayor
"You mess up water, next thing you know,"
Mr. Mayor
"some trust fund douche named Preston"
Mr. Mayor
"is pulling turtles apart to get their liquid."
Mr. Mayor
"- Hard to argue with that."
Mr. Mayor
"- [sighs] - Very good."
Mr. Mayor
"Thank you for your time."
Mr. Mayor
"Would you like me to put you to sleep tonight?"
Mr. Mayor
"- I think I'm gonna be all right."
Mr. Mayor
"I'm feeling--"
Mr. Mayor
"- Like you're the real deal and not an impostor."
Mr. Mayor
"Good for you."
Mr. Mayor
"[bright music]"
Mr. Mayor
"- I'm not an intern! - I know."
Mr. Mayor
"I was bringing you a goldfish to apologize."
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh, my God, I'm so sorry."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, no."
Mr. Mayor
"- Avocados are back on the shelves,"
Mr. Mayor
"and Angelinos are back to being happy."
Mr. Mayor
"On the outside."
Mr. Mayor
"- I just want to thank Mayor Bremer."
Mr. Mayor
"Now my baby's back on keto."
Mr. Mayor
"I know, this is three months postpartum?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, there's always a solution, Tommy."
Mr. Mayor
"- Solution. That reminds me."
Mr. Mayor
"I have to go flush out my dog bites."
Mr. Mayor
"- We're joined now live by the mayor's chief of staff,"
Mr. Mayor
"Mikaela Shaw, who, uh--"
Mr. Mayor
"- [snores] - Ms. Shaw?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Harry Potter, take me to the ball?"
Mr. Mayor
"'Bout Cho Chang?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Ms. Shaw? - Whatever."
Mr. Mayor
"I'll boogie."
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"- Ms. Shaw?"
Mr. Mayor
"- [whispering] No further questions."
Mr. Mayor
"- [snores] [farts]"
Mr. Mayor
"- Good night, everybody! - Good night!"
Mr. Mayor