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Clips from The Simpsons (1989) - Podcast News (S32E32)

"Grampa's not some monster."
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"(Grampa wailing)"
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"(thunder crashes)"
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"Am I inside?"
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"Vivienne and I went on the cruise, had dinner,"
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"drinks, dancing, drinks."
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"The rest is kind of a blur."
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"And the next thing I know, the cops are telling me"
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"- I'm a person of interest. - That's ridiculous."
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"You've never been a person of interest‐‐ not for one second."
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"But I would never hurt Vivienne."
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"She was my last chance at love, and now she's gone forever."
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"(crying)"
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"so we only have an hour to talk."
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"Now, on the count of three,"
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"say if you think he's guilty or not."
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"One, two, three."
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"- Not guilty! - If I'm being honest, I think he's capable"
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"of anything, up to and including murder."
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"You're talking about your own father."
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"(Homer grunting)"
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"Grampa's a good man,"
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"and everyone in this town knows that."
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"(all shout)"
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"- (Marge gasps) - (crowd murmuring)"
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"You're protecting a killer!"
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"(wails) Murderer!"
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"Grampa boat‐pushed my favorite sexy TV lady."
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"I had a poster where she was on top of a Trans Am"
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"and it said, "Finely‐tuned machine.""
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"Crime podcasts should be about exposing truth,"
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"- not irresponsible speculation. - (all gasp)"
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"If only Kent knew Grampa like we do,"
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"(Homer gasps)"
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"Hey! We got an ender."
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"Ender!"
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"- MOE: Ender! - (crowd cheering)"
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"Homer, tell me about the Abe Simpson you knew and loved."
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"I mean, I knew him."
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"Was he abusive?"
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"(chuckles) Oh, sure."
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"I mean, he was a quiet loner,"
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"but he could be abusive when he wanted to be."
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"And your mother‐‐ how did she deal with all this?"
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"She disappeared when I was quite young."
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"Another woman in his life vanished."
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"Stick some foghorns under that and put it up stat."
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"Uh, wait, that may have sounded bad."
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"You're not gonna podcast that, are you?"
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"HOMER (over phone): You're not gonna podcast that, are you?"
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"- Uh‐oh. - Uh‐oh."
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"(Marge groans)"
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"Imagine the worst person in the world."
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"Now imagine his father. That's Abe."
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"His roommates kept turning up dead."
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"90‐year‐old people don't just suddenly stop breathing."
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"Come on."
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"He murdered me once."
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"That's why my family doesn't visit."
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"My grandfather is not only a great man,"
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"he's a World War Two hero."
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"They used to call him "Johnny Flamethrower.""
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"He said the fires would tell him who to burn."
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"(Lisa and Marge groan)"
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"So I say to Ira Glass, "'NPR'? What does that stand for?"
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"'No Possible Revenue'?""
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"(Lisa's voice): Hey, Kent. I'm Yeardley Smith."
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"Your voice sounds familiar. Where do I know you from?"
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"From my true crime podcast Small‐Town Dicks,"
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"and nowhere else."
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"Can I give you a word of advice?"
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"I'd be a fool not to say, "Make it quick.""
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"As much as it's fun to report on murder and mayhem,"
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"Without solid proof, we can ruin lives."
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"You're right. We do rule the universe."
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"Can I ask you a question?"
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"- Of course. - Who's doing your merch?"
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"and I'm getting completely screwed on onesies."
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"‐(alarm blaring) ‐(rumbling)"
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"(phone chimes)"
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"KENT: Today's podcast has a killer bombshell"
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"about the killer of the bombshell."
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"Grampa's motive for murder? Money."
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"You see, Vivienne Saint Charmaine"
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"Ooh, and the beneficiary was her new boyfriend,"
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"Abraham J. Simpson."
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"- (all gasp) - The moment she drowned,"
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"Guilty Grampa was swimming in cash."
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"Motive enough for you?"
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"No. No, no, no."
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"I don't care what it looks like. I know Abe."
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"He would never do something so horrible."
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"I did something so horrible."
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"(crying)"
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"...and it convinced me I'm a killer."
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"You're under arrest for spoiling the ending!"
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"I was only on episode two."
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"Abraham Simpson, as you have pled guilty"
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"to the murder of Vivienne Saint Charmaine,"
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"I'm giving you life in prison."
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"but no comment."
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"- Who has the time? - (groans)"
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"(cell door slams)"
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"Why did you confess, Dad?"
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"A majority of the family believes you're innocent."
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"But what that Kent Brockman said about me was so darn convincing."
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"I began to suspect myself around episode four."
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"Then by episode six,"
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"it seemed like it was that hot‐tempered deckhand."
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"But by episode nine, I knew I'd done it,"
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"just as sure as Shampoo Shuttle is the future of hair care."
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"We can't give up hope."
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"I know Grampa's situation looks bad,"
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"with the insurance money, what Mrs. Skinner heard, but..."
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"And the confession didn't help, either, but‐but..."
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"Take it, Mom."
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"But‐but‐but..."
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"Oh, my God. I'm not sure I have a "but.""
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"I'm not sure I have a "but," either."
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"- (Homer and Bart snickering) - I think Grampa might have done it."
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