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Clips from Master of None - New York, I Love You (S02E02)

"My nephew has the same shirt."
Master of None
"Hi, Diego."
Master of None
"Eh, we can't hit. You know how it is."
Master of None
"Ah..."
Master of None
"Death Castle's playing!"
Master of None
"Eddie, I have a favor to ask of you."
Master of None
"That's fucked up."
Master of None
"Lined into left field. That's a base hit."
Master of None
"What the fuck is this? You're wearing my jacket?"
Master of None
"Yeah."
Master of None
"Yeah! We're twinsies!"
Master of None
"Jesus. Fine. Can we go now?"
Master of None
"No. You can't do that!"
Master of None
"Then we can talk."
Master of None
"Well, I asked you where you got it, and you told me."
Master of None
"and you lick my vagina."
Master of None
"I thought you were just curious!"
Master of None
"How about this? After the party, we go home..."
Master of None
"I didn't think you'd go buy the same jacket."
Master of None
"and we'll talk about this stuff later."
Master of None
"We're around each other all the time."
Master of None
"I know. But let's just hold off, go to the party,"
Master of None
"So now I have to ask you when you're going to be wearing the jacket?"
Master of None
"Maybe?"
Master of None
"You're funny."
Master of None
"Or you can just embrace the whole twinsies situation?"
Master of None
"Well, I have some good news, then. I got you a gift."
Master of None
"Stop saying twinsies."
Master of None
"They thought I was stealing pizza scarf."
Master of None
"I got you a coffee."
Master of None
"Thanks."
Master of None
"What happened? Is everything okay?"
Master of None
"Is Barry coming?"
Master of None
"Fine."
Master of None
"He's still working."
Master of None
"I can't talk to you right now."
Master of None
"So what's the latest on your whole..."
Master of None
"You know what? Just go ahead and pay for the gift, and I'll meet you outside."
Master of None
"You don't have to confront me in the middle of a store."
Master of None
"sexual situation?"
Master of None
"Look, if we have a problem, you can talk to me about it in a normal way."
Master of None
"Well, I still haven't really said anything."
Master of None
"I'm so sorry."
Master of None
"Well, it's not just going to magically change unless you say something."
Master of None
"Vagina! Vagina! Vagina!"
Master of None
"Just be respectful and bring it up when you guys are in private."
Master of None
"My kids are with me, and they know ASL."
Master of None
"Maybe when you're going to bed?"
Master of None
"Excuse me, could you please stop talking about your vagina to the entire world?"
Master of None
"Here, try it on me."
Master of None
"Then lick my vagina! It's not going to lick itself!"
Master of None
"Hey, Barry..."
Master of None
"Look, I love your vagina. It's a fantastic vagina."
Master of None
"can we talk about our sex life for a minute?"
Master of None
"I need you to step up and lick my vagina!"
Master of None
"Sure. What's up?"
Master of None
"I blow you all the time!"
Master of None
"You want to do it way more often and way better?"
Master of None
"Stop joking. I'm serious!"
Master of None
"I'm in!"
Master of None
"Right here? Right now? In the middle of the store?"
Master of None
"Wow. That was easy."
Master of None
"I want you to go down on me!"
Master of None
"Thanks, Barry."
Master of None
"What do you want me to do?"
Master of None
"Those earrings are really nice. Where'd you get them?"
Master of None
"You haven't gone down on me in two months! That's a problem!"
Master of None
"These? I got them at this awesome store."
Master of None
"If you have to think about it for that long, that's not good."
Master of None
"It's called:"
Master of None
"When was the last time we had sex?"
Master of None
""Fuck You, I'm Not Telling You Where I Buy My Stuff Anymore.""
Master of None
"That happened one time!"
Master of None
"Hey, what about these?"
Master of None
"And sometimes you say you can't because you drank too much."
Master of None
"They're coasters that look like little records."
Master of None
"I know, but we haven't done it in a while."
Master of None
"Yeah, that's fine. We're not super-close friends."
Master of None
"I can drink and still do it."
Master of None
"And they're only five dollars. They're the cheapest thing in the store."
Master of None
"Maybe we can do something a little fun later?"
Master of None
"What the fuck?"
Master of None
"Hey, maybe don't drink too much tonight."
Master of None
"A pizza scarf?"
Master of None
"Nah, I think it's all right."
Master of None
"Think I should wear this to your brother's wedding next weekend?"
Master of None
"Should we go pick up some wine, too?"
Master of None
"I think pizza's better as food, not clothing."
Master of None