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Clips from The Brady Bunch - A Clubhouse Is Not a Home (S01E01)

"Yeah. Me, too."
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"Hi, Alice."
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"No fair peeking in the pots before dinner."
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"I wasn't gonna peek in the pot."
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"Oh."
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"I was gonna ask you a question."
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"Go ahead, ask."
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"The boys or the girls?"
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"I'd rather have you peek in the pots."
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"Come on, Alice. Who do you really think is right?"
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"You want to know what I really think?"
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"Yeah."
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"I think you ought to get out of here"
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"Oh, come on, Alice."
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"in the middle of this one. Out, out, out."
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"Go in the backyard and play ball or something."
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"Alice..."
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"Sorry, Marcia, I can't answer that question."
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"But I haven't even asked you anything."
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"Oh, that's right."
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"Go ahead, ask."
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"Do you think the girls are right"
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"about the clubhouse, or the boys?"
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"Like I said, sorry, Marcia, I can't answer that question."
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"Alice, are you a mind reader?"
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"Housekeeper. Same thing."
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"Alice, please."
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"Sorry, Mrs. Brady,"
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"no way will I get involved"
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"in the great clubhouse debate."
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"But, Alice, I need your help."
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"When you two promised to love, honor, et cetera,"
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"I promised to butt out."
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"Well, I'm granting you immunity"
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"to butt back in, with no reprisals."
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"I'll handle the really big decisions..."
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"Like how much butter on the toast,"
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"how long to bake the potatoes, that sort of thing..."
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"But when it comes to trivia, like how to salvage a family"
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"that's up to you and Mr. Brady."
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"Alice, I need your hel..."
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"Excuse me, it's time for me to start something."
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"Maybe I'll make it dinner."
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"What did you mean, "Alice, I need your help"?"
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""Help"? Oh, I didn't say, "help.""
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"I said, "hel," like in helmet."
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""Alice, I need your helmet?""
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"Come on."
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"I happen to belong to the National Guard,"
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"and we're having a meeting a week from Wednesday."
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"Please, Sandra, can't we work this out?"
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"No, lance."
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"It's too late."
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"for the last time."
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"I'll do anything to win you back."
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"Anything, Lance?"
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"Anything."
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"Very well, then."
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"My price is... yes, Sandra?"
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"My price is... equality in the home."
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"Equality?"
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"Yes, Lance, equality."
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"You must treat me not as a possession,"
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"but as an equal."
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"Done, Sandra."
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"Like I said, I promised not to butt in,"
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"but when Sandra said "equality" to Lance,"
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"I just lost my head."
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"Alice, there's one major flaw in your plan."
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"I would make it a complete mess."
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"That's the whole idea."
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"It is?"
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"Yes, it is!"
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"Alice, you've got the mind of a master criminal."
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"Oh."
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"Thank you, Mrs. Brady."
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"Well, Alice, you've done it again."
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"What would I do without you?"
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"Oh, that's fine, Jan."
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"Cindy, you can measure that piece of wood for Mommy, okay?"
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"What's up, Dad?"
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"I see it, but I don't believe it."
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"What? That."
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"It looks like they're trying to build something."
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"Yeah, but what?"
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"Maybe a girls' clubhouse?"
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"A clubhouse?! That's hysterical."
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"Let's watch them."
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"Okay, but let's be careful."
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"Ha, there."
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"Well, the floor goes in next... I think."
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"Shouldn't the sides come first?"
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"What's the difference?"
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"Bring me a 2 x 4."
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"What's a 2 x 4?"
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"A skinny 4 x 4."
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"We've got an audience, girls."
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"Make it good."
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"Bring it on over here."
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"We'll put it on the sawhorse."
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"Sorry, Mother."
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"There are some pieces of wood over there"
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"you girls can put together."
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"This is better than Laurel and Hardy."
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"Yeah, and no commercials."
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"It's the first building in history"
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"Cindy, you stay here and help Mommy."
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"There."
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"Be careful, Mommy."
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"We're running short on saws."
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"That woman just destroyed a brand-new saw."
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"That's nothing. You should have been here earlier"
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"Golf clubs?"
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"Only the nine iron."
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"Okay, girls, time to put up the wall."
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"Here we go."
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"That's it."
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"Okay, right there."
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"while I hammer the nail in."
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"Oh, my, it almost hit Cindy."
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