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Clips from The Boondocks - It's Goin' Down (S03E03)

"Ali Shaheed Muhammad."
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"CIA guys couldn't get anything out of him."
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"You know who I am, don't you?"
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"You do not scare me."
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"Where's the target? Allah, make my testicles"
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"strong against the boot of the infidel..."
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"Where is the target? My gonads are indestructible,"
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"my penis shaft is strong like the oak tree."
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"His vitals are spiking. He can't take much more."
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"We're just getting started."
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"Agent Flowers, his heart."
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"No."
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"Let's try and talk this out!"
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"Wait, I remember where the target is!"
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"* That made lady Sing the blues *"
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"* The same spark That lights the dark *"
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"* So that you can know Left from right *"
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"* The promise Of what's to come *"
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"* Chop, chop, chop Judo flip *"
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"* Chop, chop, chop *"
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"So it's true, huh? You're finally calling it quits."
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"Yeah. So now you can stop spying on me."
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"doesn't mean you're retiring."
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"You could be like Jay-Z and come back, like,"
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"a couple of months later."
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"But it is the right thing do."
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"Don't waste your life trying."
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"You know how you always say"
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"Well this time "they""
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"actually are coming to get you."
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"Who? Central Terrorist"
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"Agency or Unit or..."
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"Uh, come on, I don't know. A bunch of guys with guns."
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"Why?"
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"They seem to think you're a domestic terrorist,"
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"because you are. I'm retired."
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"Why don't you go ahead and tell them that"
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"while they're waterboarding you?"
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"Is this a trick?"
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"No, a trick is a motherfucker"
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"who'd be out spending money on these bitches."
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"Hey, man, you see my new iPhone?"
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"I got one. I don't like the shit."
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"Shit, I love my iPhone."
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"This shit can do anything and everything."
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"Yeah, everything except make a fucking phone call."
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"Dan Stucky. Dan, what's pissing you off today, buddy?"
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"What isn't pissing me off today?"
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"I'm a private security contractor"
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"on the front lines defending American freedom."
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"But I got plans to start my own business,"
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"and I figure to have about $30 million in the first two years."
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"Wow. Well, Obama is gonna kill that 30 million. Just kill it."
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"Yeah, he's gonna take it, redistribute it"
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"and give it to all those losers"
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"who sit around all day watching TV and getting fat."
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"Unbelievable, isn't it?"
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"that'll let guys who can't get laid"
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"go to your house and bang your wife."
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"Ha-ha-ha! Dan the Security Man,"
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"as always you are right on point."
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"Always good to hear from you. Next caller."
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"Hey, right on time."
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"It's Tweedlee fucking dumb ass"
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"and Tweedlee bigger dumb fucking ass."
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"Today's our last day, Dan. You gonna miss us?"
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"I just can't wait till we get this brand new"
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"super fantastic security system running."
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"Well, in 24 hours the new system will be online,"
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"You know what keeps this building secure? Me."
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"fearless security enforcement professional"
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"who can spot a godless terrorist from a mile away."
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"Let me see your fancy fucking computer do that."
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"Just make sure you're here 24 hours from now, oh, about..."
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"3:17 p.m."
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"It's gonna be like you died and went to heaven."
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"Hey, do you have an iPhone?"
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"I love it."
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"for this whole operation right here."
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"Only problem is it's so thin, so light,"
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"it can fall out my pocket and I don't know"
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"was so indestructible it can stop a speeding bullet?"
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"Okay, timing mechanism is functioning."
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"Everything looks good. Setting the timer."
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"I remember when these shits first came out, man."
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"Bitches would be coming up to you like,"
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""Let me see that iPhone, let me play with it,"
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"stick the iPhone up her butt. Huh, took the doctors"
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"12 hours to get it out. And you know what?"
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"It was still working."
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"Thank you, director. How's Tracey?"
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"I remember you two were very much in love"
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"and had your whole lives ahead of you."
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"Tracey, wait..."
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"Aw, shit, that's bad."
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"Yes, she died very violently, sir."
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"After some time passed,"
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"I was engaged to a very special woman named Eleanor."
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"Then..."
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"Catch, Agent Flowers!"
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"Holy fuck, that's bad."
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"then I met Taquanda."
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"Taquanda?"
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"Yes, sir. Taquanda."
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"Then..."
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"No. Jack!"
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"Get this motherfucker!"
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"What you standing there for? Goddamn it!"
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"Jesus fucking Christ, that's terrible, Jack."
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"He tied her to a missile?"
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"What kind of deranged, Wile E. Coyote shit is that?"
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"Well, I'd love to stand around and reminisce,"
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"but we should get to work."
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"Domestic terrorist"
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"with radical leftist affiliation."
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"Homeland wants you to pick him up."
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"Banes, are you sure about this?"
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"Look, I've done bad things in my day."
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"I've also kicked a lot of people in the nuts."
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"I still hear their screams."
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