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Clips from Family Guy - Rich Old Stewie (S18E18)

"How's Dad?"
Family Guy
"Your father's had severe diabetes"
Family Guy
"ever since they opened three ice cream stores in town."
Family Guy
"(weakly): They're all good."
Family Guy
"You can't live like this, the house is falling apart."
Family Guy
"This is awful, and it's all my fault."
Family Guy
"Oh, Pop, I am so sorry I abandoned you all."
Family Guy
"I never should've left home. What can I do?"
Family Guy
"Just promise, when I die, that you will help our family."
Family Guy
"I will, I promise."
Family Guy
"This family will never want for anything ever again."
Family Guy
"Chris, your hand."
Family Guy
"All right, now that that's settled,"
Family Guy
"let's celebrate with some of the music of now"
Family Guy
"with closed captioning."
Family Guy
"¶ Music of now, music of now ¶"
Family Guy
"¶ Music of now, music of now, music of now. ¶"
Family Guy
"Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker, delivering the news"
Family Guy
"You won't hear anything I'm saying"
Family Guy
"because they're so distracting."
Family Guy
"Now, let's go to Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa,"
Family Guy
"so we can be shocked at how well her people age. Tricia?"
Family Guy
"Tom, I'm standing here with flawless skin"
Family Guy
"of white people my age."
Family Guy
"(sneezes)"
Family Guy
"I can't believe you put in an elevator."
Family Guy
"Yes, and it even has elevator music."
Family Guy
"¶ Music of now, music of now. ¶"
Family Guy
"Aw, and thanks for these virtual reality glasses,"
Family Guy
"so I can watch porn while talking to the family."
Family Guy
"So what's California like, Stewie? Ugh."
Family Guy
"That was a penis."
Family Guy
"So, do-do you still want to know about California?"
Family Guy
"No, I'm done."
Family Guy
"I have one more dying wish."
Family Guy
"Play the song, but play it slow because I am old."
Family Guy
"(slowed down): ¶ A-well-a everybody's heard ¶"
Family Guy
"¶ B-bird's a word ¶"
Family Guy
"¶ A-well, a bird, bird, bird... ¶"
Family Guy
"-How long, Peter? -I'll say when."
Family Guy
"¶ Well-a bird is a word ¶"
Family Guy
"¶ A-well, a bird, bird, bird ¶"
Family Guy
"¶ Well-a bird is a word. ¶"
Family Guy
"(knocking on door)"
Family Guy
"Oh, Dr. Hartman, thank you for coming."
Family Guy
"Actually, I'm Dr. Hartman's son."
Family Guy
"Doctor Hartmanson? But I asked for Dr. Hartman."
Family Guy
"Is there anything you can do for him?"
Family Guy
"Now all we can do is wait."
Family Guy
"Lois... it's time."
Family Guy
"Oh, Peter, I'm gonna miss you so much."
Family Guy
"Ricardo Montalbán, Phyllis Diller..."
Family Guy
"No, this is actually just the ones who did our show"
Family Guy
"right before they died. Crazy, right?"
Family Guy
"Lauren Bacall, Rodney Dangerfield,"
Family Guy
"Ed Asner by the time this airs certainly..."
Family Guy
"Dad, you don't have to do this, there are too many."
Family Guy
"Uh-oh, Conway Twitty is here, and he's pissed."
Family Guy
"Wait, he's wearing the Darth Vader helmet."
Family Guy
"(chuckles) Never mind, he was cool with it."
Family Guy
"(shuddering breaths)"
Family Guy
"Oh, he's trying to say something."
Family Guy
"H-His final words."
Family Guy
"pregnant... Latinas."
Family Guy
"(gasps) I will, Dad, I promise."
Family Guy
"No, we won't cry for him, we will celebrate his life."
Family Guy
"I must get my affairs in order"
Family Guy
"and transfer my money to all of you."
Family Guy
"-I will see you all soon. -Oh, thank you, Stewie."
Family Guy
"-We love you. -Thanks."
Family Guy
"(all laughing)"
Family Guy
"We did it. We got him."
Family Guy
"I feel like we're in The Sting,"
Family Guy
"that movie from 100 years ago about 150 years ago."
Family Guy
"Great work tricking him, Brian."
Family Guy
"Thanks. Well, you know, I credit my years as a writer."
Family Guy
"When I planned the con, I saw Quahog as a character..."
Family Guy
"Okay, that's enough."
Family Guy
"STEWIE: Had a pebble in my shoe."
Family Guy
"They probably did that "crying turning into laughing" thing"
Family Guy
"when I left, what a bunch of hacks."
Family Guy
"They're too stupid to notice I snuck into the kitchen"
Family Guy
"and turned up the gas before I left."
Family Guy
"It hurts! Reverse the pill! Let me die!"
Family Guy
"Ooh, wish I could, but the pills were in the house, so, yeah..."
Family Guy
"Stewie. Stewie!"
Family Guy
"Stewie! Stewie!"
Family Guy
"(stammers) Huh? What?"
Family Guy
"What the hell is wrong with you? You've been staring"
Family Guy
"21 plus commercials, but it's a big decision."
Family Guy
"You know, I've always been afraid of being old,"
Family Guy
"Why are you walking so slowly?"
Family Guy
"Turns out this costume is about 80% balls,"
Family Guy
"and most of it's dragging behind me."
Family Guy
"-Uhp, we got a tangle. -Uhp, what do I do?"
Family Guy
"-Are you sure? -It's counterintuitive."
Family Guy
"I don't know, that-that doesn't seem right to me."
Family Guy
"-When you want to go left, you go right. -I'm just gonna pull forward."
Family Guy
"I have heard your cries,"
Family Guy
"and I just want to say..."
Family Guy
"Meg. Meg!"
Family Guy
"I already told you you're not gonna be Evita."
Family Guy
"You're gonna be the back half of Edgar the Farting Horse."
Family Guy
"Now get in."
Family Guy
"(loud fart)"
Family Guy
"PETER: Hey. I do the farting."
Family Guy
"See all new episodes Sundays on Fox."
Family Guy
"¶ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ¶"
Family Guy
"¶ On which we used to rely? ¶"
Family Guy
"¶ ¶"
Family Guy
"Coming through."
Family Guy
"-¶ ¶ -(applause)"
Family Guy
"-¶ ¶ -(applause)"
Family Guy
"You do look great."
Family Guy
"I've always taken care of you, Chris."
Family Guy
"and then take the Brady Bridge."
Family Guy
"(overlapping gibberish)"
Family Guy
"What the hell happened to the neighborhood?"
Family Guy
"¶ A-well, a bird, bird, bird ¶"
Family Guy
"Chris should be lighting his cigar right about..."
Family Guy
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