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Clips from Taxi - Men Are Such Beasts (S01E01)

I'm meeting Denise here for breakfast.

"I'm meeting Denise here for breakfast."

Taxi

JOHN: Hey, you want some coffee?

"JOHN: Hey, you want some coffee?"

Taxi

Yeah, please.

"Yeah, please."

Taxi

Hey, Bobby, maybe you can help me.

"Hey, Bobby, maybe you can help me."

Taxi

I got to tell Denise I don't want to see her anymore.

"I got to tell Denise I don't want to see her anymore."

Taxi

I don't know how to do it without hurting her.

"I don't know how to do it without hurting her."

Taxi

Ooh...

"Ooh..."

Taxi

That kind of thing's never easy to do.

"That kind of thing's never easy to do."

Taxi

I tell you what. This is what you do.

"I tell you what. This is what you do."

Taxi

You put all the blame on yourself, right?

"You put all the blame on yourself, right?"

Taxi

You tell her that you're not worthy of her, you know,

"You tell her that you're not worthy of her, you know,"

Taxi

that she can do better.

"that she can do better."

Taxi

Nah, she'd never buy that.

"Nah, she'd never buy that."

Taxi

I've been trying

"I've been trying"

Taxi

to figure out a way to do this all week.

"to figure out a way to do this all week."

Taxi

Anybody got any suggestions?

"Anybody got any suggestions?"

Taxi

Hey, Elaine, what do guys usually do

"Hey, Elaine, what do guys usually do"

Taxi

when they want to get rid of you?

"when they want to get rid of you?"

Taxi

Thanks a lot.

"Thanks a lot."

Taxi

You know what I mean, Elaine.

"You know what I mean, Elaine."

Taxi

Tony, just be honest.

"Tony, just be honest."

Taxi

Just tell her how you feel and then take your lumps.

"Just tell her how you feel and then take your lumps."

Taxi

Yeah, I guess you're right.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

Taxi

Hey, Alex, you ever have to break up

"Hey, Alex, you ever have to break up"

Taxi

with a woman you were close to?

"with a woman you were close to?"

Taxi

Oh, what am I saying. He was married.

"Oh, what am I saying. He was married."

Taxi

I mean, do you remember

"I mean, do you remember"

Taxi

what you said to your wife to break up with her?

"what you said to your wife to break up with her?"

Taxi

Yeah, I remember what I said.

"Yeah, I remember what I said."

Taxi

I said, "Why is that man wearing my pajamas?"

"I said, "Why is that man wearing my pajamas?""

Taxi

DENISE: Tony?

"DENISE: Tony?"

Taxi

Hi, Denise.

"Hi, Denise."

Taxi

Hi, baby.

"Hi, baby."

Taxi

Let's sit over there.

"Let's sit over there."

Taxi

Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?"

Taxi

There doesn't seem to be much point.

"There doesn't seem to be much point."

Taxi

Okay.

"Okay."

Taxi

Denise, this is Elaine, Alex, Bobby and John.

"Denise, this is Elaine, Alex, Bobby and John."

Taxi

Hi, how are you?

"Hi, how are you?"

Taxi

Well, we were just leaving.

"Well, we were just leaving."

Taxi

Have a nice breakfast.

"Have a nice breakfast."

Taxi

It was nice knowing you.

"It was nice knowing you."

Taxi

You want some?

"You want some?"

Taxi

No, thanks.

"No, thanks."

Taxi

Sure?

"Sure?"

Taxi

take a few pounds off or do the 100 in 9.7.

"take a few pounds off or do the 100 in 9.7."

Taxi

So how you doing, honey?

"So how you doing, honey?"

Taxi

I'm okay.

"I'm okay."

Taxi

Denise, I got something to say.

"Denise, I got something to say."

Taxi

I wish there was a...

"I wish there was a..."

Taxi

a smarter way to lead up to this.

"a smarter way to lead up to this."

Taxi

I don't think we should see each other anymore.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Taxi

There might have been some smarter ways

"There might have been some smarter ways"

Taxi

of leading up to that, Tony.

"of leading up to that, Tony."

Taxi

I mean, some guys would have tried

"I mean, some guys would have tried"

Taxi

to soften me up with a lot of flattery.

"to soften me up with a lot of flattery."

Taxi

Or they might have made up

"Or they might have made up"

Taxi

some long, involved story.

"some long, involved story."

Taxi

Not you.

"Not you."

Taxi

You just came right out with it.

"You just came right out with it."

Taxi

I can't say you weren't straight with me.

"I can't say you weren't straight with me."

Taxi

I guess that's what I've always liked about you.

"I guess that's what I've always liked about you."

Taxi

Thanks.

"Thanks."

Taxi

That's also why I'm never gonna let you go.

"That's also why I'm never gonna let you go."

Taxi

( Latka singing in native language )

"( Latka singing in native language )"

Taxi

( continues singing in native language )

"( continues singing in native language )"

Taxi

Hey, Rieger.

"Hey, Rieger."

Taxi

You got to help me so I can fill out

"You got to help me so I can fill out"

Taxi

this property damage report.

"this property damage report."

Taxi

Oh, not the box again, Louie.

"Oh, not the box again, Louie."

Taxi

Come on over here.

"Come on over here."

Taxi

What's he doing?

"What's he doing?"

Taxi

They're going to reenact the accident.

"They're going to reenact the accident."

Taxi

It's company policy-- it's fun.

"It's company policy-- it's fun."

Taxi

Hold the box here.

"Hold the box here."

Taxi

Okay Latka watch?

"Okay Latka watch?"

Taxi

Here, sit down.

"Here, sit down."

Taxi

All right.

"All right."

Taxi

Now, here's 72nd Street

"Now, here's 72nd Street"

Taxi

where it intersects with Third Avenue.

"where it intersects with Third Avenue."

Taxi

That's right.

"That's right."

Taxi

Now, we got a stoplight here.

"Now, we got a stoplight here."

Taxi

Right.

"Right."

Taxi

All right.

"All right."

Taxi

Okay, what color was the light?

"Okay, what color was the light?"

Taxi

The light was green.

"The light was green."

Taxi

( stoplight dings )

"( stoplight dings )"

Taxi

All right.

"All right."

Taxi

It's green.

"It's green."

Taxi

All right.

"All right."

Taxi

Now, you were traveling west on 72nd street?

"Now, you were traveling west on 72nd street?"

Taxi

Right.

"Right."

Taxi

Now, were there people in the streets?

"Now, were there people in the streets?"

Taxi

Yeah, there were a few, it was early in the morning.

"Yeah, there were a few, it was early in the morning."

Taxi

Now, where'd the dog come from?

"Now, where'd the dog come from?"

Taxi

About over here.

"About over here."

Taxi

All right.

"All right."

Taxi

I don't have a dog.

"I don't have a dog."

Taxi

What's that over there?

"What's that over there?"

Taxi

It's not a dog.

"It's not a dog."

Taxi

Here, here.

"Here, here."

Taxi

No cockroaches, Latka.

"No cockroaches, Latka."

Taxi

Get that cockroach out of there.

"Get that cockroach out of there."

Taxi

Sorry to bother you.

"Sorry to bother you."

Taxi

All right, I got a baby.

"All right, I got a baby."

Taxi

We'll use the baby for the dog.

"We'll use the baby for the dog."

Taxi

Okay.

"Okay."

Taxi

I'm traveling in this direction

"I'm traveling in this direction"

Taxi

at about 30 miles an hour.

"at about 30 miles an hour."

Taxi

I notice the light is green,

"I notice the light is green,"

Taxi

so I start to speed up so I can make it

"so I start to speed up so I can make it"

Taxi

and just then, all of a sudden,

"and just then, all of a sudden,"

Taxi

this dog runs out in the middle of the road,

"this dog runs out in the middle of the road,"

Taxi

so I swerve to my right and I hit this parked car right here.

"so I swerve to my right and I hit this parked car right here."

Taxi

My right fender hits the door on the driver's side.

"My right fender hits the door on the driver's side."

Taxi

I carom off and I come to a stop about there.

"I carom off and I come to a stop about there."

Taxi

And the dog runs off, I don't know, somewhere.

"And the dog runs off, I don't know, somewhere."

Taxi

And that was it.

"And that was it."

Taxi

Phew!

"Phew!"

Taxi

Thank you very much.

"Thank you very much."

Taxi

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