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Clips from Big Mouth (2017) - The ASSes (S03E03)

"Ohh, my anxiety-based vertigo's kicking in."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Jessi, be a dear and press right in the meat"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-between my thumb and forefinger. -Not now. I'm gettin' in the zone."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Oh, my mouth is so dry. -Guys, it's gonna be fine."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Look, in the future, we're all gonna be either a Lyft driver or a billionaire."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I will not work for Uber."
Big Mouth (2017)
"No, because they picked up at the airport when the border..."
Big Mouth (2017)
"You know, I forget, but I don't forgive."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, relax. These standardized tests are so easy."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-You're the smartest person in our grade. -Yeah, well, I'd be--"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Pfft. Ugh. I guess. If you're going by grade point average"
Big Mouth (2017)
"or literally any other metric."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Jay's here early. -Really?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"And it's not to change out the memory cards in all his toilet cams."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Good morning, jerks."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Jay, you're in your seat. -Yeah."
Big Mouth (2017)
"And you remembered number two pencils?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"All of a sudden, I'm, like, horny for following instructions."
Big Mouth (2017)
"That Jay is not the real Jay. That Jay is an impostor."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Or are we experiencing some sort of shared hallucination?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Okay, settle down, people."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Now, today is a very important day"
Big Mouth (2017)
"that will affect the rest of your entire life."
Big Mouth (2017)
"My mom says if I do good, I can get my ears double-pierced,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"said my lobes were too tough for their fucking machine."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Well, it's official. I know none of the answers."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-No. -Oh, shit."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, no."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Someone tried to get someone to relax last night, but he said he didn't wanna."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Maury, I love you, but not now."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I'm in the middle of this huge test."
Big Mouth (2017)
"What the..."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Andrew, why are you even worried about this?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"You're at the very top of your class."
Big Mouth (2017)
"You make me spend every minute of school"
Big Mouth (2017)
"imagining girls I know soaked from the rain."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Yum, yum! -Their umbrellas blew away."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, God. Oh, no."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Fuck you, it's D."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Fuck you, A."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Fuck you, another A. [chuckles]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"D, A, D."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Who knew one of our most treasured dramatic actors could also dance?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Every single person who saw Mamma Mia 2 in theaters, sir."
Big Mouth (2017)
"[Depression Kitty] And you're not even halfway done."
Big Mouth (2017)
"[gasps]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"I need to concentrate."
Big Mouth (2017)
"On what?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"How you'll never live up to your mother's expectations?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Let me get back to my test!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Let go. -You're not going to Yale."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Mmm... -Oh!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"I can't do two more days of this."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I'm gonna eat peanuts."
Big Mouth (2017)
"No, Allergy Kid! Don't do it."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Mr. Lizer!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Um, I just got a little distracted."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Excuse me? -Oh, uh..."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I said it wouldn't be fair to the other kids."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Woohoo, tests rule!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"I'm Coach Lyft Driver Cautionary Tale to Nick Steve now."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Well, we have these standardized tests and--"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, the tepee snake snakes."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Yeah, I did bad on those."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Hey, tree, are you Rebecca?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"[cicadas chirping]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"You don't even have a free period to fuck it anymore."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Jay, what was goin' on with you today? You were, like, smart."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, your mom took me to a doctor,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"but instead of delousing me like normal, ha-ha, he gave me Adderall."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Whoa. Does it make you feel weird?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"It makes me feel like I have the best body in our grade, in my head."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Get with it, Nick."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I loved pep pills when I was alive."
Big Mouth (2017)
"There's no better way to write music at 4:00 a.m."
Big Mouth (2017)
"while eatin' a 12-course meal on a train. [laughs]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, maybe I could use one of those."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-No way, these are my genius pills. -What do you want, Jay?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Cold hard cash, a night with one of my pillows?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Then the pillows come to you."
Big Mouth (2017)
"And then what? It's my money?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"I want to give you money in exchange for what you have."
Big Mouth (2017)
"[school bell rings]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Ladies and gentlemen, who wants to be smarter than a fifth grader?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-We're in seventh grade. -[sighs]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"It's loser thinking like that, Jessi,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"You couldn't dazzle a tribe of monkeys with sleight of hand"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Jay's right. His Adderall's amazing."
Big Mouth (2017)
"When I squint, I can see through people's clothes."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-[grunts] -Oh, no."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Now, it'd be a crime to keep this miracle drug to myself,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"so I'm selling these pills for the low, low price of $20 each."
Big Mouth (2017)
"We don't need your drugs, Jay. We're already smart."
Big Mouth (2017)
"You're basically trying to sell Randy Newman"
Big Mouth (2017)
"a bitingly satirical pop song."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I'm tempted, but addiction runs in my blood."
Big Mouth (2017)
"My Uncle Skip got hooked on motion sickness pills."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Soon one Dramamine became two,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"then wham, bam, thank you, Dram, he tried to marry his own boat."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Uh, hashtag metoo."
Big Mouth (2017)
"[howls]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Business wolf, sellin' pills! Wolf of Walgreens."
Big Mouth (2017)
"[howls]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Okay, FDR introduced the New Deal in 1933 for what reason?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"All right, okay, New Deal, New Deal,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"because the old deal wasn't working, right?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Huh, the old deal fuckin' sucked."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Deal or No Deal, Howie Mandel. [gasps] Howie Man-deal."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Oh, this is all gold. -Here's the deal with Howie Mandeal."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I'm fuckin' hard right now. Are you hard right now?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Maury, I need your help."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Well, well, well. Look who's interested in Maury again."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I know it, but listen,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"I will need one of those big Gatorade bottles with a handle"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-just to rehydrate. -Uh-huh."
Big Mouth (2017)
"And then, when I'm done drinkin' it, you know what I'm gonna do?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Will you put a warm sponge inside?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"The warmest sponge money can buy."
Big Mouth (2017)
"That actually sounds really nice."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-So will you help me? -Okay, fine."
Big Mouth (2017)
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