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Clips from South Park (1997) - The Pandemic Special (S24E24)

"- What's a pangolin, Mom? - I'm not even sure."
South Park (1997)
"Do you know what a pangolin is, Randy?"
South Park (1997)
"Ha ha! Ha ha!"
South Park (1997)
"Okay! I don't wanna think about that right now, Mickey."
South Park (1997)
"Then what?"
South Park (1997)
"Ha ha! Ha whoa! Ho ho!"
South Park (1997)
"Alright, children, welcome back to class."
South Park (1997)
"I'm your new teacher, Detective Harris,"
South Park (1997)
"and this is our homeroom teacher's assistant,"
South Park (1997)
"Officer Johnston."
South Park (1997)
"Let's start the day off with some math."
South Park (1997)
"Does anyone understand math?"
South Park (1997)
"Who would like to lead the class with some math?"
South Park (1997)
"Pandemic! There's a pandemic! You can't make me go to school!"
South Park (1997)
"Oh, no, no! You can't make me!"
South Park (1997)
"I don't know if I can do this, Mitch."
South Park (1997)
"I fucking hate kids. I can't be a teacher."
South Park (1997)
"It's all we got, sir. Let me try."
South Park (1997)
"Kids! Alright! Come on! Let's settle down!"
South Park (1997)
"Now we're gonna do some fingerpaints. You got that?"
South Park (1997)
"You're gonna fingerpaint... "a marsupial of your choice"
South Park (1997)
"or a fun thing you did over the summer.""
South Park (1997)
"You can't make us stay here!"
South Park (1997)
"This is a violation of our freedom! Who's with me, guys?!"
South Park (1997)
"Oh, my God! I forgot how much it sucks to be around everybody!"
South Park (1997)
"I think I'm gonna be sick! All over Kyle!"
South Park (1997)
"Bluggggh!"
South Park (1997)
"Fuck you!"
South Park (1997)
"Got 'im!"
South Park (1997)
"And here it is."
South Park (1997)
"The mysteries of COVID can be unlocked"
South Park (1997)
"by our studies of this creature."
South Park (1997)
"Obviously we can't let anything happen to this pangolin."
South Park (1997)
"We're not completely sure,"
South Park (1997)
"How exactly could that happen?"
South Park (1997)
"Well, i-it's almost like another creature"
South Park (1997)
"somehow inserted its DNA up into the pangolin."
South Park (1997)
"would have sex with a pangolin?"
South Park (1997)
"Yeah. Yeah!"
South Park (1997)
"Again, what really matters is that we decode"
South Park (1997)
"That would be the key to a vaccine, perhaps even a cure."
South Park (1997)
"We have to know what raped the pangolin."
South Park (1997)
"Excuse me, sir. Who are you?"
South Park (1997)
"Are you... a pandemic specialist?"
South Park (1997)
"O-kay. Anyway, if you all follow me now to the micro labs,"
South Park (1997)
"I can show you the containment system"
South Park (1997)
"for once a vaccine is able to be tried."
South Park (1997)
"M'kay. M'kay, parents?"
South Park (1997)
"Can everyone hear me m'kay?"
South Park (1997)
"Everyone listen up."
South Park (1997)
"We don't want anyone to panic, m'kay,"
South Park (1997)
"but there has been a COVID exposure here at the school."
South Park (1997)
"M'kay. One of our fourth graders"
South Park (1997)
"was taken to the hospital a couple hours ago, m'kay?"
South Park (1997)
"But we... we think Token's gonna be okay."
South Park (1997)
"Now, due to county protocol, everyone that was in the school"
South Park (1997)
"now has to quarantine for two weeks."
South Park (1997)
"So we will be keeping your kids here,"
South Park (1997)
"Alright, students, shut up."
South Park (1997)
"I know this situation is not ideal,"
South Park (1997)
"This is bullshit!"
South Park (1997)
"You don't want to infect your families, do you?"
South Park (1997)
"You were all exposed to a student here"
South Park (1997)
"who was taken to the hospital due to COVID."
South Park (1997)
"taken to the hospital because you guys shot him."
South Park (1997)
"Yes, due to COVID."
South Park (1997)
"If it weren't for COVID, all the previous teachers"
South Park (1997)
"would have still been here,"
South Park (1997)
"we wouldn't have been in the class,"
South Park (1997)
"and nobody would have gotten shot."
South Park (1997)
"Therefore the young man is in the hospital due to COVID."
South Park (1997)
"It was COVID-related."
South Park (1997)
"That doesn't make any sense!"
South Park (1997)
"And scientists are asking all South Park County residents"
South Park (1997)
"Once again, the pangolin"
South Park (1997)
"Scientists say that even though"
South Park (1997)
"they have samples from the pangolin,"
South Park (1997)
"Yes, you see, what we needed was the foreign DNA"
South Park (1997)
"It's whatever that DNA was that was our key to a cure."
South Park (1997)
"Have a nice day."
South Park (1997)
"Oh, and, hey. I'm really loving the Pandemic Special."
South Park (1997)
"_"
South Park (1997)
"Why did you send that to me?"
South Park (1997)
"Ha ha! Because you're a dead man, Marsh!"
South Park (1997)
"This isn't personal, Marsh. It's business."
South Park (1997)
"This is all your fault, Mickey Mouse!"
South Park (1997)
"And then you took me out and sold me on how great China was"
South Park (1997)
"You made me lose my tegridy and anything special that I had..."
South Park (1997)
"Special. Wait a minute."
South Park (1997)
"What's it? Ha ha."
South Park (1997)
"The special. The Pandemic Special!"
South Park (1997)
"That's how we can get my DNA into people!"
South Park (1997)
"Just give me a couple more days before you have me killed."
South Park (1997)
"You're just gonna haveto trust me, okay?"
South Park (1997)
"Unh."
South Park (1997)
"Ohhhhhhh."
South Park (1997)
"Br-e-e-e-eathe."
South Park (1997)
"It's okay. Breathe."
South Park (1997)
"_"
South Park (1997)
"Group 4! Your meal is over!"
South Park (1997)
"Back to your class!"
South Park (1997)
"Yeah, that's good social distancing. Real good."
South Park (1997)
"March 16th! It was March 16th!"
South Park (1997)
"It was supposed to be a party!"
South Park (1997)
"A big, happy gathering at Build-A-Bear"
South Park (1997)
"Then they shut it all down."
South Park (1997)
"That I'm never going to Build-A-Bear!"
South Park (1997)
"Butters, Butters, you gotta calm down."
South Park (1997)
"I'm never going to Build-A-Bear, am I?!"
South Park (1997)
"Oh, hey, Teachers. Sorry. W-Wait. I'm sorry."
South Park (1997)
"I don't need to go to Build-A-Bear! Fellas?"
South Park (1997)
"Randy. Where are the car keys?"
South Park (1997)
"Randy!"
South Park (1997)
"Huh? Uh... What? What?"
South Park (1997)
"Where are the car keys?"
South Park (1997)
"They're probably in my pants pocket. Why?"
South Park (1997)
"The hospital? For what?"
South Park (1997)
"- Jimbo's better? - They said he doesn't have"
South Park (1997)
"any symptoms, and his tests are showing negative."
South Park (1997)
"Holy shit."
South Park (1997)
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