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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013) - Dillman (S07E07)

"- I will not, however, in order to solve this case,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013)
"- Dillman! I'll call Dillman!"
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"- Who?"
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"because I need an objective set of eyes on this."
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"- I can be objective. - Then tell me."
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"- Bloated. - Thank you."
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"with my mother who was undergoing chemotherapy."
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"- I'm obviously lying."
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"You're cooked. - All right, let's get started."
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"- Unfortunately, this area's a blind spot."
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"do you, Lieutenant?"
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"- Sir, I'd like to talk to you about the new task force"
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"- The Special Tactical Operations and Auxiliary"
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"Investigative Unit for Emergency Operations?"
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"You know, I had a hand in naming it."
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"maybe using a cool acronym."
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"- So the S.T.O.A.S.R.C.E.I.U.E.O.?"
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"Hm, you're right. That is cool."
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"- Sure, anyways, I know some of the best cops in the city"
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"are gonna be on that task force,"
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"and I would appreciate it if you'd consider me for it."
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"Here's my résumé."
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"And I thought it would be fun if I rapped it."
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"But then I realized that would be a terrible idea,"
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"so I just wrote it down normally."
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"It'll probably rhyme a lot on accident."
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"Try not to focus on that."
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"- "Jake Peralta is age 39, but professionally,"
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"he's still in his prime...""
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"- "If you ask me, he's New York's fine...est."
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"Charles enters.""
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"♪ Raining hot fire!"
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"- Charles, it's not a rap. It never was."
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"Everyone's professional here."
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"Not the lyrics we discussed either."
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"Anyways, sir, I really think that I deserve this task force."
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"My clearance rate puts me in the top 2% of all NYPD det--"
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"- I am aware of your qualifications, Peralta,"
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"but I'm only allowed to recommend one name"
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"for the S.T.O.A.S.R.C.E.I.U.E.O."
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"- And you don't think the acronym's just a little clunky?"
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"- Oh, no, it's quite catchy."
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"and I'm unflappable in the face of--"
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"- Scully, are you hurt?"
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"Is that blood? - It's glitter."
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"- There was a box on Jake's desk."
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"I can't feel my face."
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"- And, not to be rude,"
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"but is that something you can normally feel?"
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"- Jeffords, evacuate the precinct."
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"I'll contact the bomb squad. - No, no, no, no, no, wait."
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"I think this actually might have been"
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"a prank that malfunctioned."
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"Look, the box was connected to a tank"
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"It was supposed to shoot glitter at whoever opened it,"
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"but something must have clogged the pressure release valve,"
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"and the tank exploded. - Wow."
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"The silver lining is no one got hurt."
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"caused significant property damage in the precinct."
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"- Fair point, but we do shatter a lot of glass around here."
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"Either it's Rosa who's disappointed"
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"in her Buzzfeed results..."
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"- Or Charles trying to bro out..."
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"- Or just Terry gently shutting a window"
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"- And look at this. Evidence was compromised."
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"- That's the only hard evidence we have."
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"ADA Green's already mad we didn't find anything else."
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"- Why is this on your desk, Peralta?"
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"- I logged it out for trial, but Officer Howard"
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"is the one who got it from the evidence locker."
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"- Yes, I do. - Then what's my last name?"
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"- I thought it was Howard."
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"- It's Booth. My name is Howard Booth."
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"the only thing I'm gonna remember from this interaction"
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"is that you put me on the spot, so..."
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"is brought to justice."
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"- But they're playing "Uptown Funk.""
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"someone Peralta pranked seeking revenge."
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"Who are his recent victims?"
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"- I'm sorry, but I'm the Prankmaster General"
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"- Look at this. There's a note."
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"It says, "Gotcha back, babe." It was Amy."
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"where he called everybody "babe.""
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"- Uh-huh. - I forget."
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"No."
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"probably by whomever keeps accusing me."
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"Why did Scully open a package on Peralta's desk?"
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"Perhaps he was setting up the prank,"
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"and it blew up in his face."
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"- No, I just saw a box and I thought,"
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""Oh, cookies come in boxes.""
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"- I bet it wasn't anyone in this squad."
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"- That's exactly what a guilty person would say."
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"- So in order to prove my innocence,"
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"I just need to start pointing fingers?"
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"- Fine, it was Amy. - Really?"
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"Because the "Babe" thing screams you, Charles."
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"- Oh, you wanna hear screaming? It was Amy!"
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"- Somebody confess!"
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"Well, well, well."
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"What do we have here?"
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"It appears a crime has been committed,"
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"and no one will confess."
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"- Doing a German accent? - I was going for Belgian,"
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"Like in "Murder on the Orient Express.""
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"- You sound like a Nazi."
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"The point is a crime has been committed,"
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"and someone in this room did it."
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"There are seven suspects all with means and motive."
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"- The phrase "whodunit" is a grammatical abomination."
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"Please use the proper term, a "who has done this.""
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"we need the very finest of detectives,"
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"one with a unique set of skills, someone named--"
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"- I hear you need some help with a "who has done this.""
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"- Squad, meet detective Frank Dillman"
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"of the San Francisco PD."
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"He is in town, and we were supposed"
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"to have lunch tomorrow, but I asked him to come down"
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"How do I look today? - Normal?"
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"- No. Dillman?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013)
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