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Clips from Schitt's Creek (2015) - Dead Guy in Room 4 (S04E04)

"So you and Patrick are sitting in his car last night,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and you just leaned in and kissed him?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, what part of this conversation"
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"- don't you understand? - Okay, and he wanted that."
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"Like he told you that he wanted that."
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"Fall off a bridge, please."
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"You gave me such a hard time for getting involved with Ted,"
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"and then you just... French your business partner"
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"literally the second he peeks his head out of the closet."
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"of a relationship I've ever had."
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"Well, all I know is that Patrick is"
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"a sweet little button face, David,"
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"We're gonna need your room for the night,"
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"so uh, pack up."
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"- Um, no. - Absolutely not."
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"The motel is sold out"
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"and we're unable to remove a body, and disinfect Room 4,"
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"Okay, every inch of that sentence made me sick."
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"I agree with David, we must all move on from this."
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"worrying about what happened?"
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"We're not worrying about what happened, Moira,"
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"we're trying to find a solution,"
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"Okay, why don't the new guests stay in your room?"
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"It'll take day just to re-box your mother's wigs."
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"Oh my God, can you imagine? Not one of you is trained."
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"Okay, bottom line, we need the room,"
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"so throw some things in a bag"
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"and we're gonna set you up in our room."
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"Okay, I've never just thrown some things in a bag before,"
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"so you might have to give me a minute."
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"- Same. - Like literally anywhere else."
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"Yeah, like an old tent by the side of the highway."
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"Yes, yes, plenty of work to be done."
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"Unfortunately my previous engagements preclude me"
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"John, I hate to leave you like this!"
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"Yeah, I know, Moira, you know, busy busy."
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"- I want the room cleaned up in an hour. - Okay."
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"Um, I'm gonna need a roll of dry-cleaning bags,"
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"and some padlocks."
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"Okay, so Roland knows a guy at the coroner's office."
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"- Wait, you told Roland? - Yes."
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"I don't know, I-I ran into him, and he asked me how I was."
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"- Well, that's not good, Stevie. - No, I might have panicked."
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"- let alone a dead body! - Yeah."
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"- Oh, hello! - Hello."
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"Checking out?"
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"Hello, Johnny. Stevie."
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"I come bearing good news."
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"Okay, Roland, as you can see,"
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"Mr. Rose is checking out a guest right now,"
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"so maybe you can hold off on that good news?"
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"Uh, well let me just say this,"
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"the plumber will be here in a few hours."
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"He said he'd be here sooner, but he has another autopsy."
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"Toilet on the fritz."
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"Okay, so, what'd the coroner say?"
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"My guys will be here between 4 and 5."
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"Well, that's not good,"
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"we can't have the guests watching a dead body"
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"being dragged out of here."
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"So probably best to keep your guests in their rooms."
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"And, how're we gonna do that?"
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"Do the rooms lock from the outside?"
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"We're not locking the guests in their rooms, Roland."
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"Well, I'm sure they'll be fine, Johnny."
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"I saw a lot of dead bodies when I was a kid,"
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"und I would say that I turned out pretty okay."
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"Hmm."
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"- Thank you very much. - Bye."
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"- Alexis! - Oh my God, Ted, hey!"
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"Um, was there like a pet massacre, or something?"
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"Uh, nope, all these perfectly happy-looking people"
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"are actually applying for your old job."
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"I literally just quit, Ted."
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"Again, quit implies a negative connotation"
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"and I'd say that we had a pretty fun time working together."
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"We did have a pretty fun time."
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"That's not what I meant, but anyway, what's up?"
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"Oh, I just wanted to thank you again"
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"for coming to my graduation yesterday."
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"It was a very sweet surprise."
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"- Here. - Oh, thanks."
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"And, I also had a question."
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"Uh yeah, Alexis, I'd love to answer that question,"
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"it's just I'm kind of right in the middle"
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"Okay, yeah, totally. I will just um..."
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"um... I actually used to work here."
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"This used to be my desk, so."
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"You know, now that you're here,"
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"I guess you could sit in on the interviews with me."
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"Oh. Okay, sure."
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"Now, everybody, just so you know,"
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"I got a job here,"
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"and I have literally zero interest in animals,"
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"so you guys are already like, way ahead."
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"Have fun!"
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"So, someone's been busy."
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"Oh yeah, yeah, I've been up since 5."
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"Could not sleep, been thinking about..."
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"Regrets?"
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"What? No, why would I have regrets?"
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"No, I feel good. I feel like a..."
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"weight's been sorta lifted off my shoulders."
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"It's all very new, you know, and it's a lot to process but..."
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"Huh."
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"It's just that there's some things happening at the motel, and I..."
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"Yeah, uh, sorry David, maybe I haven't been clear,"
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"than a sleepover tonight."
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"I think it's important that I be honest with you"
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"because I know you have a lot of experience in this area,"
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"- but for me... - Oh my God, no,"
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"I mean yes, I do, but that's not what I'm implying. That's..."
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"Ding-a-ding."
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"Oh hey, Mrs. Rose."
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"We'll talk about this later."
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"Okay, yeah, it's just some crossed... wires. May I help you?"
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"It's startlingly quiet in here, David."
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"I thought you were booked up all day,"
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"and that's why you couldn't help Dad with the dead b-"
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"- that thing in the motel. - I am booked up, David."
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