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Clips from Girls5eva - Catskills (S01E01)

- Well, I mean, if today was so terrible,

"- Well, I mean, if today was so terrible,"

Girls5eva

why'd we sleep together?

"why'd we sleep together?"

Girls5eva

- Well, I've always admired that work ethic in the bedroom.

"- Well, I've always admired that work ethic in the bedroom."

Girls5eva

It's bananas. But otherwise, it's too much.

"It's bananas. But otherwise, it's too much."

Girls5eva

- Good God. How did I get like this?

"- Good God. How did I get like this?"

Girls5eva

Was I ever able to just have fun?

"Was I ever able to just have fun?"

Girls5eva

[dramatic musical sting]

"[dramatic musical sting]"

Girls5eva

Bus.

"Bus."

Girls5eva

Oh, my God!

"Oh, my God!"

Girls5eva

What's up, MTV?

"What's up, MTV?"

Girls5eva

Our bus just landed at the first stop

"Our bus just landed at the first stop"

Girls5eva

of our tour, Buffalo, New York!

"of our tour, Buffalo, New York!"

Girls5eva

We can't wait to kick back, get crazy.

"We can't wait to kick back, get crazy."

Girls5eva

Zero plans. Zero rules.

"Zero plans. Zero rules."

Girls5eva

- What up, Girls5eva?

"- What up, Girls5eva?"

Girls5eva

- Oh, the Boybies.

"- Oh, the Boybies."

Girls5eva

- Five of them. Five of us.

"- Five of them. Five of us."

Girls5eva

- Yes. - Hear, hear.

"- Yes. - Hear, hear."

Girls5eva

- The bad boy of Boybies just yipped at you.

"- The bad boy of Boybies just yipped at you."

Girls5eva

I hear he is gelled from tip to tail.

"I hear he is gelled from tip to tail."

Girls5eva

Get it, girl. - Uh, yeah.

"Get it, girl. - Uh, yeah."

Girls5eva

I love to skoink, but I got to work on my choreo,

"I love to skoink, but I got to work on my choreo,"

Girls5eva

you know, feed the snake we perform with.

"you know, feed the snake we perform with."

Girls5eva

Yeah. You know, these tires

"Yeah. You know, these tires"

Girls5eva

are really low, so you guys go.

"are really low, so you guys go."

Girls5eva

Go enjoy the bright lights

"Go enjoy the bright lights"

Girls5eva

and stunning sounds of Buffalo, New York.

"and stunning sounds of Buffalo, New York."

Girls5eva

- Okay. - Okay.

"- Okay. - Okay."

Girls5eva

- Yep, yep, yep.

"- Yep, yep, yep."

Girls5eva

- * La da da, da de de *

"- * La da da, da de de *"

Girls5eva

[light orchestral music]

"[light orchestral music]"

Girls5eva

* *

"* *"

Girls5eva

- Are you sure you don't need a sec?

"- Are you sure you don't need a sec?"

Girls5eva

- I don't want to stop our momentum.

"- I don't want to stop our momentum."

Girls5eva

I can work from the toilet. Yeah.

"I can work from the toilet. Yeah."

Girls5eva

[gentle guitar music]

"[gentle guitar music]"

Girls5eva

* And what about whoever was the best before *

"* And what about whoever was the best before *"

Girls5eva

- * No they don't know that they aren't the best no more *

"- * No they don't know that they aren't the best no more *"

Girls5eva

both: * Because we filed the paperwork *

"both: * Because we filed the paperwork *"

Girls5eva

* But it's Yom Kippur *

"* But it's Yom Kippur *"

Girls5eva

- * Yom Kippur *

"- * Yom Kippur *"

Girls5eva

- * Yom Kippur... * - Keep singing.

"- * Yom Kippur... * - Keep singing."

Girls5eva

I just-- I need to tune something.

"I just-- I need to tune something."

Girls5eva

- * Yom, Yom, Yom, Yom *

"- * Yom, Yom, Yom, Yom *"

Girls5eva

[mischievous music]

"[mischievous music]"

Girls5eva

- Hey. You didn't go to the motel?

"- Hey. You didn't go to the motel?"

Girls5eva

- You got me thinking.

"- You got me thinking."

Girls5eva

I do deserve a better place to stay,

"I do deserve a better place to stay,"

Girls5eva

and a motel is just a patch.

"and a motel is just a patch."

Girls5eva

Next weekend, I'll be back in the closet

"Next weekend, I'll be back in the closet"

Girls5eva

peeing into a basket of Easter grass.

"peeing into a basket of Easter grass."

Girls5eva

So I went to Heidelberg's True Value

"So I went to Heidelberg's True Value"

Girls5eva

and used your money for this. It's a yurt, and it's a palace.

"and used your money for this. It's a yurt, and it's a palace."

Girls5eva

- You gave her money? - For a motel!

"- You gave her money? - For a motel!"

Girls5eva

This is better. She's investing in herself.

"This is better. She's investing in herself."

Girls5eva

- Assembly requires four men or nine daughters.

"- Assembly requires four men or nine daughters."

Girls5eva

- Oh, mm.

"- Oh, mm."

Girls5eva

Well, it looks like we need

"Well, it looks like we need"

Girls5eva

to find something called the deever.

"to find something called the deever."

Girls5eva

- Ugh!

"- Ugh!"

Girls5eva

[upbeat music]

"[upbeat music]"

Girls5eva

* *

"* *"

Girls5eva

[music]

"[music]"

Girls5eva

- Wickie.

"- Wickie."

Girls5eva

- Are you Dawn from Daphne5eva?

"- Are you Dawn from Daphne5eva?"

Girls5eva

- It's called being nice. - This is not you being nice.

"- It's called being nice. - This is not you being nice."

Girls5eva

This is sick. - How?

"This is sick. - How?"

Girls5eva

- Because this is all about you.

"- Because this is all about you."

Girls5eva

You can't handle the idea of someone not liking you,

"You can't handle the idea of someone not liking you,"

Girls5eva

so you buy jeans you don't even like

"so you buy jeans you don't even like"

Girls5eva

because you feel bad

"because you feel bad"

Girls5eva

about taking up the salesperson's time

"about taking up the salesperson's time"

Girls5eva

or give Uber drivers five stars even if they fart.

"or give Uber drivers five stars even if they fart."

Girls5eva

You're terrified of confrontation,

"You're terrified of confrontation,"

Girls5eva

unless it's with me after Fallon.

"unless it's with me after Fallon."

Girls5eva

I'm the great exception.

"I'm the great exception."

Girls5eva

- Hey, that took me 15 years,

"- Hey, that took me 15 years,"

Girls5eva

and I was full of Negronis! - [gasps]

"and I was full of Negronis! - [gasps]"

Girls5eva

- It's fine. I looked it up.

"- It's fine. I looked it up."

Girls5eva

It's named after Count Camino Negroni.

"It's named after Count Camino Negroni."

Girls5eva

- Dawn, if we're gonna make this group into something,

"- Dawn, if we're gonna make this group into something,"

Girls5eva

you're gonna have to grow some labia majoras

"you're gonna have to grow some labia majoras"

Girls5eva

and start telling it like it is.

"and start telling it like it is."

Girls5eva

[gentle wondrous music]

"[gentle wondrous music]"

Girls5eva

* *

"* *"

Girls5eva

- I made salad.

"- I made salad."

Girls5eva

- Okay.

"- Okay."

Girls5eva

Why are your feet so dirty?

"Why are your feet so dirty?"

Girls5eva

- Fine.

"- Fine."

Girls5eva

I walked to a Chili's by the highway,

"I walked to a Chili's by the highway,"

Girls5eva

and this very sweet teenager made it for me

"and this very sweet teenager made it for me"

Girls5eva

because I don't know how to cook salad

"because I don't know how to cook salad"

Girls5eva

because I don't know how to do anything

"because I don't know how to do anything"

Girls5eva

because I never had to learn

"because I never had to learn"

Girls5eva

because I'm just too hot.

"because I'm just too hot."

Girls5eva

- Is it 'cause you left school?

"- Is it 'cause you left school?"

Girls5eva

- You guys think that I don't know

"- You guys think that I don't know"

Girls5eva

that you put me on salad to get me out of your wigs?

"that you put me on salad to get me out of your wigs?"

Girls5eva

Oh, you roll your eyes at my ideas

"Oh, you roll your eyes at my ideas"

Girls5eva

just because they're terrible, but your ideas are not great.

"just because they're terrible, but your ideas are not great."

Girls5eva

"Stronger than the best"? What does that even mean?

""Stronger than the best"? What does that even mean?"

Girls5eva

- The song explains it! It hinges on paperwork!

"- The song explains it! It hinges on paperwork!"

Girls5eva

- Ah, shit. That's bad.

"- Ah, shit. That's bad."

Girls5eva

We have nothing.

"We have nothing."

Girls5eva

We spent all this money to come up here

"We spent all this money to come up here"

Girls5eva

and have a perfect weekend, and we have nothing.

"and have a perfect weekend, and we have nothing."

Girls5eva

- Money, nah. The place was free.

"- Money, nah. The place was free."

Girls5eva

Dawn, come on. We got work to do.

"Dawn, come on. We got work to do."

Girls5eva

- The place, I'm sorry, was not free.

"- The place, I'm sorry, was not free."

Girls5eva

I Venmoed Wickie $300.

"I Venmoed Wickie $300."

Girls5eva

- So did I.

"- So did I."

Girls5eva

- It's gauche to talk business, but if you must know,

"- It's gauche to talk business, but if you must know,"

Girls5eva

I'm Instagramming my weekend so our stay is free.

"I'm Instagramming my weekend so our stay is free."

Girls5eva

- But you still charged us?

"- But you still charged us?"

Girls5eva

$- A fraction of what those posts are worth.$

"- A fraction of what those posts are worth."

Girls5eva

Toilet the Cat follows me!

"Toilet the Cat follows me!"

Girls5eva

- Oh, but it's such a bad idea that I'm out there hustling,

"- Oh, but it's such a bad idea that I'm out there hustling,"

Girls5eva

trying to make us

"trying to make us"

Girls5eva

the official neck of the Infinity neck pillow?

"the official neck of the Infinity neck pillow?"

Girls5eva

- Ugh! - Hey, hey, hey.

"- Ugh! - Hey, hey, hey."

Girls5eva

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