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Clips from Abbott Elementary - Student Transfer (S01E01)

"and it didn't work."
Abbott Elementary
"It got way worse and oddly specific."
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"Come on. It couldn't have been that bad."
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"They called me "HuffPo-reading gay Pete Buttigieg,""
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"which is repetitive and insulting."
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"As if I would read a word of Huffington Post"
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"after Arianna stepped down."
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"You may just have to take the L on this one, man."
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"I mean, you can't really beat them at their own game."
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"It's like them challenging you to..."
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"Dungeons & Dragons."
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"You can't really challenge someone to D&D."
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"It's more like a cooperative game that's all about"
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"the shared experience rather than winning."
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"- (gasps) - (fingers snap)"
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"Thank you, you ol' good friendship having man."
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"(door opens)"
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"Is everything okay?"
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"Oh, you tell me."
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"You got a little sleepyhead over there."
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"Do you want to know what I do"
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"when a kid falls asleep in my class?"
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"- Sure. - Nothing."
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"'Cause it doesn't happen. (chuckles)"
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"I keep my kids engaged."
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"Anyway, do you have a second"
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"for me to show you something regarding Courtney?"
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"All right, my little eagles."
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"We're gonna take quiet time a bit early, okay?"
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"STUDENTS: Yes, Ms. Schemmenti."
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"I know you didn't pull me out of class"
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"just so you could brag."
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"No, of course not."
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"Courtney's teaching us a new word."
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"(students giggling)"
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"Courtney!"
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"(students giggling)"
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"Look away, y'all."
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"All right, guys, we're gonna go into"
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"Ms. Schemmenti's class for a little bit"
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"while Mr. Johnson cleans the board"
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"because Courtney decided to use permanent marker"
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"even though dry-erase was right there."
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"But she knew that. (chuckles) She knew that."
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"I heard there's a bet going."
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"Is it too late for me to get in on the action?"
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"(camera shutter clicks)"
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"I went from having one teacher to two."
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"Ain't that some (bleep)"
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"- Courtney! - Courtney!"
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"You know, I'm glad she's in your class now"
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"so you two can throw your little tantrums together."
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"I'm sorry. Was it not a tantrum"
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"when you sent Courtney to my class"
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"without warning me about her behavioral issues?"
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"Yes, I saw your notes in her file."
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"I did try to warn you, ya gabbadost,"
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"but you got too big for your britches"
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"and you didn't want to listen."
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"Well, maybe if you hadn't been making fun of me yesterday,"
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"I wouldn't have gotten defensive."
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"Janine, I was goofing."
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"Unlike when you called me a bad teacher,"
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"something I would never call you."
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"You know, I-I know that review hit you hard,"
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"but I didn't deserve that."
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"(sighs) Okay."
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"I'm sorry. You're right. You're right."
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"That review really, really hurt my feelings,"
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"and I took it out on you."
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"It wasn't even that bad."
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"It just said you were less experienced."
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"Listen, if you go look at the Facebook reviews"
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"of my cousin Rocco's hoagie shop, you would think"
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"- the man sold food poisoning. - (chuckles)"
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"But he's gonna keep making hoagies."
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"You know why? Most people love them."
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"You got to keep making hoagies."
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"Now, what are we gonna do about this one?"
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"(Janine sighs)"
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"Thank you for your business."
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"VICK: Ol' I should have been a hooper,"
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"but basketball didn't exist lookin' boy."
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"(laughter)"
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"1800s Slenderman in the face."
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"Okay, while these are hilarious,"
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"let's try and incorporate some of the lessons into the roast."
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"Ol' bullet in the head at Ford's Theatre lookin' boy."
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"My mans got ain't been sleeping four score and seven years ago"
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"bags all up under his eyes."
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"Abe Lincoln. I'm Abe Lincoln, Mr. Hill."
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"Yes, yes! Good work, team!"
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"(students cheering)"
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"Yeah, I guess, like, thumbs up is kind of our thing now."
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"Bye. Don't forget your homework."
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"- Ms. Schemmenti. - Yes?"
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"Courtney called me stupid."
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"No, I didn't. I called you "stupendous," you idiot!"
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"- Courtney! - You know what?"
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"I'm just gonna go home and take a nap,"
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"'cause I'm utterly depleted."
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"What'd she say?"
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"(scoffs) One thing I will say --"
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"that girl has a fairly advanced vocabulary."
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"She corrected my math last week."
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"She threw a stapler first,"
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"but she was right about the math."
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"You know, when I was going through Part 2"
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"of Courtney's file earlier,"
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"I realized her grades have never dropped."
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"- Mnh-mnh. - And usually when a kid"
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"is acting out like that, you see it in their performance."
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"Yeah. That's what makes it tough."
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"Hard to discipline a kid who's getting straight A's."
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"All right. (sighs)"
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"So, what if we rewarded her?"
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"You might be onto something there, rookie."
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"Okay, so if B makes it block,"
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"then C makes it what?"
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"Uh, not quite. Try again."
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