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Clips from Family Guy - I Take Thee, Quagmire (S04E04)

"Gentlemen, I give you Crystal Pepsi."
Family Guy
"All the great taste of regular Pepsi but without the troublesome opacity."
Family Guy
"and somebody is coming at you with a knife, huh?"
Family Guy
"You! You're dead! Stabbed!"
Family Guy
"This is, uh, not gonna be easy,"
Family Guy
"minding his own business."
Family Guy
"Well, we thought of that."
Family Guy
"Wait! We might still be able to save... Oh, no!"
Family Guy
"Is this a joke?"
Family Guy
"and dinosaurs show up to eat the remains. You've seen the news."
Family Guy
"All right, fellows. Plan B."
Family Guy
"Glenn, sweetheart! Is he all right?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"I kicked my addiction to breast milk."
Family Guy
"What are you doing?"
Family Guy
"Oh, Brian, I thought I was ready to wean him."
Family Guy
"Sorry, I'm late. I had a meeting over at NBC about Joey."
Family Guy
"Death? What are you doing here? Nobody's dying today."
Family Guy
"Well, Mayor West is afraid of zombies."
Family Guy
"You'll thank me when no one eats our brains."
Family Guy
"Hold it! Stop the funeral. Quagmire's not really dead."
Family Guy
"Zombie!"
Family Guy
"Glenn, I thought I'd lost you."
Family Guy
"- So... - No, you can't take him."
Family Guy
"Well, good enough for me."
Family Guy
"I'm not gonna kill her, I'm just gonna watch her die on her own."
Family Guy
"It's good to be back, Peter."
Family Guy
"Okay. You have $1,300."
Family Guy
"And, uh, boy, that TV looks nice."
Family Guy
"You clean Peter mess."
Family Guy
"This is gonna kick more ass than that magical ride I took."
Family Guy
"Shut up, Ricky! Just shut up right now!"
Family Guy
"Unless the next words out of your mouth are directions"
Family Guy
"Peter Griffin, a once great champion of the motor speedway"
Family Guy
"And who left the wet towel on the bed?"
Family Guy
"What would you all do if I went on strike? Huh? What would you do?"
Family Guy
"I see. Um..."
Family Guy
"- Thanks, Brian. - No problem."
Family Guy
"I filled this watermelon with chocolate pudding and M-80 firecrackers."
Family Guy
"Uh, it's a present."
Family Guy
"So you'll hang onto that?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"Very well, then. Take off your shirt."
Family Guy
"But you'll see it's just as good."
Family Guy
"You know, this place is unique because if you're lucky,"
Family Guy
"And I'm telling you, this has got to be some kind of prank."
Family Guy
"I have, uh, terrible foot odor."
Family Guy
"Oh, Montrachet!"
Family Guy
"Oh, that's what I want in my house."
Family Guy
"Hey, do you have any idea what I went through to get this?"
Family Guy
"You think this is just, "Oh, here comes Peter"
Family Guy
"Oh, look out. Champagne."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, you blew it up."
Family Guy
"Yeah. You've gotten out of commitments before."
Family Guy
"Sure was. See you."
Family Guy
"But you said we were gonna get married."
Family Guy
"- What? - All right."
Family Guy
"- And this one? - "Was. ""
Family Guy
"You won't be able to see him past your Pepsi."
Family Guy
"but it's something you should see."
Family Guy
"So, anyway, here's Quagmire walking through the park,"
Family Guy
"We are so, so sorry for your loss."
Family Guy
"and wheelchair ninjas, and Nazis, and pots-and-pans robots show up to kill you,"
Family Guy
"You know what'll prove it? When people die, they void their bowels."
Family Guy
"- Yeah. How did you do that? - I watched In The Cut."
Family Guy
"I got to tell you, I always thought it would be rectal trauma."
Family Guy
"So the city says all caskets must be encased in concrete."
Family Guy
"Anyone? Anyone?"
Family Guy
"And, uh, I'll take the hat rack."
Family Guy
"Hi. I'm Joan. I'm your maid for the week."
Family Guy
"You ever think about that, huh?"
Family Guy
"Oh, there you are. Come here, you basketball."
Family Guy
"I've gone up two bra sizes."
Family Guy
""with the Statue of Liberty's foot. Oh, isn't that a gas?""
Family Guy
"No, no. No, no, it's fine. No. Whatever. Whatever. Just go to your wedding, man."
Family Guy
"Oh, God. I got to get out of this marriage."
Family Guy
"Heart attack!"
Family Guy
"- She was suicidal. - She was?"
Family Guy
"Those aren't boobs. They are lies!"
Family Guy
"and Joe's dead from the waist down."
Family Guy
"or a erection in your pocket?"
Family Guy
""don't say anything at all. " We say that, right, honey?"
Family Guy
"You really did it."
Family Guy
"But I just miss the bonding."
Family Guy
"So we got to make the most of it."
Family Guy
"Well, what if you're drinking a regular Pepsi"
Family Guy
"I imagine you're probably wondering what happened to the body."
Family Guy
"Sorry, Mr. Quagmire, but I still need a body to take back with me."
Family Guy
"Oh, okay. Um..."
Family Guy
"No. I only said that so you'd googooity my geshmoigen."
Family Guy
"Plan B, Quagmire."
Family Guy
"If you want to take a shot at it, talk it out."
Family Guy
"This may be the most absolutely perfect fake death"
Family Guy
"It's easy, Quagmire. Just tell her to hit the bricks."
Family Guy
"Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah."
Family Guy
"You're not fooling anyone."
Family Guy
"I wish it were, Joan. I wish it were a joke."
Family Guy
"No problem. He's got half an hour of oxygen."
Family Guy
"I, uh... I, uh..."
Family Guy
"- You know, about the right to bear arms? - Of course it's clear."
Family Guy
"We brought you guys a bottle of wine."
Family Guy
"I just happened to be there with my video camera"
Family Guy
"That's Quagmire."
Family Guy
"That's my show. Tomahawked."
Family Guy
"I just had to find a way to make breasts seem repulsive."
Family Guy
"I'm as pathetic as the fat man when he tries to read."
Family Guy
"Hey, man. I see you got some seaweed on your tail."
Family Guy
"All right. Fantastic then."
Family Guy
"I don't believe it."
Family Guy
"Dear God! I've got to get a hold of myself."
Family Guy
"in the history of fake deaths."
Family Guy
"Through sheer force of will,"
Family Guy
"No, no. I know Quagmire."
Family Guy
"And the Batman symbol."
Family Guy
"Why don't you go ahead and pick out some prizes from our showcase?"
Family Guy
"Lois is afraid to go near there"
Family Guy
"and my fingers are too thick."
Family Guy
"We now return to Malcolm in the Middle."
Family Guy
"I don't know what to do, Brian."
Family Guy
"since Stewie's teeth are coming in."
Family Guy
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