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Clips from Silicon Valley - The Empty Chair (S03E03)

"Look at these fucking maggots."
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"leaving their slime of mediocrity."
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"looking for Indiana Jones in a wicker basket."
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"Let me know if you have any questions."
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"That's a hardware fan."
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"You've got the yellow hoodie on today."
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"Wait a second."
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"None of these are signed."
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"Oh yeah. Um, it's just my business manager had some questions"
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"about the way some of this stuff was being arranged."
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"Like he said something about how it's not a corporation."
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"It's just a general partnership or something."
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"I mean, he told me I didn't understand, which is true,"
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"So you want to lawyer up, huh? Is that what we're doing?"
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"I don't think he has a law degree."
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"Big Head, I would hope that a handshake deal would be good enough for you."
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"Because we're headed down a long road,"
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"and that road must be paved with trust. Blind trust."
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"And you bringing in these so-called "experts...""
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"and it insults my honor."
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"Hey. Uh, how do I look?"
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"Well, you know, that's actually kind of fitting,"
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"to meet with a PR person to tell me exactly what to say"
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"to a reporter and how to say it."
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"You do tend to babble on when you're under pressure."
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"Why does this thing people say?"
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"Why indeed?"
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"I just got a call from Laurie Bream's office, at Raviga,"
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"asking if I'd want to interview for the job of CEO at Pied Piper."
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"What? Are you fucking kidding me?"
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"That's exactly what I said."
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"I mean, I assume they hung up. I had already hung up, so..."
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"Wow. Wow. Okay."
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"Okay. Yeah, great. Big Head."
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"Big Head, you can insult me all you want"
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"by involving your self-described shylocks,"
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"but to insult Richard and humiliate him,"
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"that's like kicking a child who's done nothing to deserve it."
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"I may not be able to finish my ramen."
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"I told them no."
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"Hi there. Richard Hendricks here to see Dawn Simon, PR."
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"No, no. I, uh... I know where it is."
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"I'm not a fucking idiot."
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"but I probably am going to yell."
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"because this is bullshit."
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"Honestly, I mean, I get it. This is your job. You're in PR."
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"Your job is to pretty much tell me what I can't say."
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"and then replaced me with Action Jack Barker."
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"And I probably can't say how fucking pissed off I am"
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"interviewing every dickhole on Earth for my job,"
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"including Big Head..."
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"He is a bit of a simpleton, his name's fucking Big Head."
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"I want to be CEO of Pied Piper, okay?"
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"That's my job. I deserve it."
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"And it fucking kills me that Laurie is out there"
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"trying to give it to someone else, anyone but me."
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"But I probably can't say that, can I?"
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"You can say anything you want to say to me."
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"All right."
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"HL Mencken hails from Baltimore."
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"Widely perceived as a racist,"
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"but... his work on the English language is comprehensive,"
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"and his perspicuous skewering of evangelicals is laudable."
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"Monica, my mission here is not merely to have fun."
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"When I voted against you, at the board meeting, I just want..."
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"Monica, this is not about you, for once."
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"I am sorry."
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"Why am I not surprised?"
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"And out I went, right on my ass."
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"And then Laurie put that jackhole Barker in to bankrupt the company."
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"Because the Laurie-tron 6,000 isn't programmed to admit when she's made a mistake."
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"I should not have removed him as CEO,"
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"But if that's true, then why are you meeting with so many other CEO candidates?"
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"I am meeting publically"
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"with a number of high-value candidates"
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"I know to be unavailable, as well as with a number of less-qualified candidates"
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"with whom Richard compares favorably."
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"That's why you called Big Head."
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"He must be seen as the correct candidate."
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"I have been impressed by his conduct in a tough situation."
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"- Mm-hmm. - He's shown mettle."
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"Definitely."
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"That is of course assuming he continues to demonstrate an air of professionalism."
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"Yes. I'm supposed to be meeting with Richard Hendricks"
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"before he sits down with a Code/Rag reporter."
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"Oh, that's weird. I saw him earlier."
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"And that is why..."
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"Uh, okay."
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"Richard. Richard Hendricks?"
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"Dawn Simon, Raviga's publicity director."
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"CJ Cantwell, Code/Rag."
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"Thank you, I think I have everything I need."
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"Yep. No, yeah. It, uh... it-it was gone great."
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"Yep. It had gone."
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"Uh, she's a... she's a great guy."
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"Really. Gir... girl. She's... she's cool. She's a cool one."
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"Cool. Um, so I can just... I can get out here?"
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"- Just 'cause I got another thing. - Yeah."
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"Slow down. Listen to me. Look, in my defense,"
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"I said those were all the things I can't say, okay."
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"But you did say them, at a meeting you scheduled with a reporter."
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"Oh, really. Hard to see why Laurie insisted on a PR rep for you."
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"- You want me to spike the story? - Yes, please."
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"Give me something better. I don't know, go on a drunken racist Twitter rant,"
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"or, uh, get in your car, run over Elon Musk,"
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"No, no, no, no. Look. Look."
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"These offices were nice."
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"Have you ever seen a naked dead person?"
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"No. No. No."
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"Well, the good news is, we cleared almost..."
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"That's not enough to afford all the coders we need."
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"We need at least a dozen."
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"Where would we even put them now?"
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"Wait. Where's my hard drive?"
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"What did it look like?"
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"It just looked like a normal standard hard drive."
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"Yeah, it was in my bag."
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"which was next to all the hard drives we got rid of?"
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"Fuck!"
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"Yes. All the work we did on the platform, the box, everything."
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