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Clips from The Simpsons - Pay Pal (S25E25)

"What's for dinner?"
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"Pizza. Mmm."
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"Lots of pizza."
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"So I'll just tell you Lisa is... unique."
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"And we're done."
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"square dancing is a part of the gym curriculum."
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"Now, I'm gonna open the divider to the girls' gym,"
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"and if you don't find a dance partner within ten seconds,"
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"there is something very wrong with you!"
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"Hmm."
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"Looks like you're dancing with Groundskeeper Willie."
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"Careful of your toes."
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"I got me cleats on!"
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"I'll dance with Lisa."
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"We only come together for tornado drills."
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"It ain't gym class if a fat kid's not crying."
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"♪ Swing your partner, swing her hard ♪"
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"Hey! Ha! Ho! Ha!"
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"♪ Do-si-do while I bombard ♪"
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"♪ 'Cause I have to take a pee. ♪"
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"Oh, wait, wait, wait. Um, I was going"
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"to All Sales Vinyl after school."
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"The vintage record store?"
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"Yeah. You want to come with me?"
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"At the risk of sounding like a broken record,"
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"They will fit. They will fit."
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"Yes!"
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"Hmm. Nobody likes jazz that much."
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"It's so much fun"
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"to finally have a friend who likes the NPR show"
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"Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! as much as I do."
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"do on our news quiz?"
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"Well, Peter, he got two out of three right,"
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"so he wins me recording his outgoing message."
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"It's not optional."
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"Problems will work themselves out"
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"if you just leave them alone."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"As long as you load up on the kale and chia."
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"Oh, no one likes veggie smoothies that much."
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"Or at all. Hmm."
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"Something's fishy about that girl,"
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"And I'm gonna help you."
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"I think I'll need you back at headquarters manning the phones."
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"Great. What do I say?"
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"Just let 'em ring."
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"Got it!"
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"♪ They smile in your face ♪"
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"♪ All the time they want to take your place ♪"
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"♪ They smile in your face ♪"
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"♪ The backstabbers ♪"
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"What do you want?"
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"I've got two things for you."
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"This envelope will change your life"
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"for the low, low price of five dollars,"
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"What's the advice?"
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"Don't open the envelope."
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"Oh, God, I'm gonna be sick."
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"Mom paid her to be my friend?"
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"That's mine."
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"It's for my library card."
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"You don't want to be here."
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"Neither do you!"
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"Mom, how could you pay someone to be my friend?"
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"Answer me!"
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"Oh, I wouldn't say I paid someone to be your friend."
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"You gave away ice cream?!"
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"I would've found a friend eventually."
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"You couldn't wait a damn decade until I got into college?"
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"Oh, Lisa. Lisa, wait!"
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"Oh, God, oh, God."
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"I'm the smart parent."
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"I'm sorry she rejected your "I'm Sorry" cake,"
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"but, in a way, I'm not."
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"I guess what I'm trying to say is I like cake."
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"Marge, don't feel bad."
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"No, I think I went too far."
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"Let me tell you a little story"
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"about a chubby unpopular boy named Homer."
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"Is that the boy you named me after?"
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"It is you, you idiot!"
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"Whoa. Little Homer had"
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"a devil of a time making friends."
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"No one wanted to come visit him."
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"So I decided to take matters into my own hands."
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"I paid a couple of boys,"
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"A relationship I continued to this day."
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"You pay Lenny and Carl to be my friends?!"
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"Yes, but Barney's yours for nothing."
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"Aw. Hmm."
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"Dad, is that story really true?"
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"I wouldn't pay ten cents to a lion"
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"to stop him from eating you!"
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"Lisa, just say something to me."
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"A mother's greatest fear."
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"What unimaginable power."
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"I can use this to get anything I want."
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"But right now, all I want"
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"is for Mom to stop crying."
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"Mom, stop! Stop!"
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"Stop. I'm sorry."
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"Oh..."
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"Please stop!"
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"I'm fine. Fine."
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"It's funny, but..."
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"hurting your feelings made me feel better."
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"Mm, try to forget that."
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"and we will have the most intense relationships ever."
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"And I'll always love you."
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"Aw."
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"Happy Mother's Day."
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"Okay, initially I was just gonna be your friend"
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"till I could afford a nice belt."
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"But I like you, Lisa,"
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"and I want to keep being friends with you."
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"Great. But from now on,"
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"we have to be totally honest with each other."
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"You're absolutely right."
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"I'm not really a vegetarian."
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"Have you ever tried horse meat?"
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