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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S02E02)

"[Finnish] Jätkät! Tämä on suomalainen laskuvarjoklubi?"
Archer (2009)
"I was, uh, asking if this was the, uh, Finnish skydiving club."
Archer (2009)
"Hey, so, guys, listen..."
Archer (2009)
"[YELPS THEN GRUNTS]"
Archer (2009)
"[GROANS]"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: He did what?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, for starters, this."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Good God. - Yeah."
Archer (2009)
"That's a broken zygomatic bone. Plus, I was unconscious for an hour."
Archer (2009)
"- Ooh, really? - Which is super bad for you."
Archer (2009)
"Super bad. Have you seen a neurologist?"
Archer (2009)
"- Have a CAT scan tomorrow. - Unless it's in Russia, you better cancel it."
Archer (2009)
"Well, it's obviously not, and what?"
Archer (2009)
"The mission you failed was on the border."
Archer (2009)
"And I think Sterling might be trying to cross into Russia."
Archer (2009)
"Why would he...? Oh, is this about Nikolai Jakov, the head of the KGB?"
Archer (2009)
"L... Who?"
Archer (2009)
"GILLETTE: "Who?" Nice. - Right?"
Archer (2009)
"The man you've been having a 40-year affair with?"
Archer (2009)
"[SINGS] Sex, baby, let's talk..."
Archer (2009)
"...how do you know what you're talking ab...?"
Archer (2009)
"- Pam! PAM: I'm not eavesdropping."
Archer (2009)
"- What's up? - You disgusting little sneak."
Archer (2009)
"Okay, A, nobody cares about your big knobbly vibrating eggplant."
Archer (2009)
"...and C, there's this new thing the kids are doing called shutting the damn door."
Archer (2009)
"[SINGING] Forty ounce in my lap And it's freezing my junk"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Shut up. Shut up."
Archer (2009)
"- Does everyone know about it? - Not everyone."
Archer (2009)
"Just us, Krieger. Really just, you know, the core group."
Archer (2009)
"Pam, I should have you flensed."
Archer (2009)
"- More rubber cement. - And SIGINT said to give this to you."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, radio chatter about an American agent the KGB caught parachuting into Russia?"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah. Hey, where's Archer?"
Archer (2009)
"Probably hanging by his Achilles tendons in some KGB hellhole."
Archer (2009)
""Caught at border, taken to Vyborg"?"
Archer (2009)
"Ray, get your purse and take some Midol. You're going back for him."
Archer (2009)
"Mm, according to these notes from my doctor, a radiologist..."
Archer (2009)
"...and my new neurologist, I am doing no such thing."
Archer (2009)
"You little... Okay, then."
Archer (2009)
"- Lana. - Yes?"
Archer (2009)
"If he's not being held there, go to St. Petersburg..."
Archer (2009)
"...and if he's not there, you go straight to Moscow."
Archer (2009)
"- Undercover? - Wha...? Of course undercover."
Archer (2009)
"Damn it."
Archer (2009)
"I can't have this getting blabbed all over the agency, but..."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, God, someone has to go rescue my son..."
Archer (2009)
"...before he talks to Nikolai Jakov."
Archer (2009)
"Well, that someone needs to be fluent in Russian..."
Archer (2009)
"...and a couple of contacts in the KGB wouldn't hurt."
Archer (2009)
"Mm, could, um, this person be from outside the agency?"
Archer (2009)
"BARRY: No, no, no."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, I know you two have had your differences in the past."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, differences? Uh, ha, ha."
Archer (2009)
"You remember that he shattered my femur, right?"
Archer (2009)
"Which is why I'm in New York, by the way. I need all new pins put in it."
Archer (2009)
"- And I'm sure that must be... - Oh, and he sodomized my fiancée."
Archer (2009)
"L... I don't even know how to respond."
Archer (2009)
"What is meant to be is your going to Russia to bring back my son..."
Archer (2009)
"- One million dollars. - Well, you can divide that by four."
Archer (2009)
"- Come on. This is your son's life. - And my money."
Archer (2009)
"Alive."
Archer (2009)
"Uh..."
Archer (2009)
"Nope."
Archer (2009)
"- Lana, please. - I'm not having sex with Barry."
Archer (2009)
"That was for work. And this is just for..."
Archer (2009)
"- Uh, Archer. - His life may very well depend on it."
Archer (2009)
"- Oh. But he's such a douche bag. - I know, dear. But he's also my son."
Archer (2009)
"Not Archer."
Archer (2009)
"Well, also very much Archer. But I'm talking about Barry."
Archer (2009)
"Hallway? Where you wanna knock this out?"
Archer (2009)
"Ugh, wherever. After you bring back Archer."
Archer (2009)
"No, no. Before."
Archer (2009)
"- We're doing it before. - After. Non-negotiable, Barry."
Archer (2009)
"Then can I bring you back anything from Moscow?"
Archer (2009)
"According to ODIN's guy in the KGB, which, as a real agency, we have."
Archer (2009)
"We've got guys in the KGB too, smarty."
Archer (2009)
"- Damn that... Pam! PAM: I'm still not eavesdropping."
Archer (2009)
"Well, don't just stand here."
Archer (2009)
"Don't worry, he's a high-value asset."
Archer (2009)
"I'm sure they're treating him just fine."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Ahem. So, uh, yeah."
Archer (2009)
"Kind of wishing I'd taken my training more seriously now."
Archer (2009)
"[ARCHER SCREAMING]"
Archer (2009)
"I swear, I'm just a Finnish skydiving enthusiast who..."
Archer (2009)
"Shit, why am I speaking English? With an American accent."
Archer (2009)
"[IN RUSSIAN ACCENT] Maybe because you're Sterling Archer."
Archer (2009)
"Who? No, no."
Archer (2009)
"You know what I bet happened is all the shocks damaged my frontal lobe."
Archer (2009)
"The brain's language center?"
Archer (2009)
"Okay, we wait some test on you. So now I take coffee break."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, none for me. Have a nice break."
Archer (2009)
"Ten minutes. I drop kids off at pool."
Archer (2009)
"[MAN SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]"
Archer (2009)
"Psst. Hey, comrade."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God, Barry, l... Holy shit. Barry?"
Archer (2009)
"No, dickbrain. Your mother's paying me to rescue you."
Archer (2009)
"- Oh. How much? - Quarter mil."
Archer (2009)
"- Eh. - Plus, smell that."
Archer (2009)
"- What am I smelling, Barry? - Nothing yet."
Archer (2009)
"Um, okay. Uh, until then, do you have some sort of escape plan or...?"
Archer (2009)
"[LAUGHS]"
Archer (2009)
"Uh, how about something a little less sarcastic?"
Archer (2009)
"Uh, or less stupid?"
Archer (2009)
"Always hide in plain sight. Unless you've got a better idea."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, I might, maybe. I mean, it depends on him."
Archer (2009)
"BARRY: Nikolai Jakov, head of the KGB?"
Archer (2009)
"- Yeah. He might be my father. - Wh...? Ha, ha."
Archer (2009)
"That's why you're in Russia?"
Archer (2009)
"Now shut up while I go confront my putative father."
Archer (2009)
"While he's in such a good mood."
Archer (2009)
"I know you have been sleeping with that mudak, Len Trexler."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, like you're Mr. Monogamous."
Archer (2009)
"Wha... For 40 years, kroshka, you are my only woman."
Archer (2009)
"Well, I didn't know that."
Archer (2009)
"[JAKOV SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]"
Archer (2009)
"Do you know your son is here in the cells of the dreaded Lubyanka?"
Archer (2009)
"- Yes, that's why I'm... - And that I am now awaiting results..."
Archer (2009)
"...of DNA test to establishing paternity? - I thought they just wanted my hair..."
Archer (2009)
"...so their scientists could unlock the secret of its luxuriant fullness."
Archer (2009)
"- Touch it, Barry. - Uh, no."
Archer (2009)
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