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Clips from Haters Back Off! - Staring in a Musicall (S01E01)

"because that'll change the shape of the stage"
Haters Back Off!
"Now, everyone turn to page one."
Haters Back Off!
"We don't have scripts."
Haters Back Off!
"- Oh. - Is this guy for real?"
Haters Back Off!
"- Well, I'm learning a lot of stage terms. - [chuckles]"
Haters Back Off!
"[scoffs] I wish."
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"[Jim] Connie, was it you?"
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"My toilet is off-limits."
Haters Back Off!
"and let's get busy acting. Okay!"
Haters Back Off!
"All right, everyone."
Haters Back Off!
"Let's start with the scene where Annie and Daddy Warbucks first meet."
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"You guys ready? Come up on stage."
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"The script looks like the journal from the movie Se7en."
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"[Jim] And..."
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"Oh, hey, Daddy. You're looking good."
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"I heard you're an orphan. Just my type.""
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"Can we take a time out here, please?"
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"This script is ludicrous."
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"Daddy Warbucks is not this girl's love interest."
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"In this particular script, he is."
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"Yeah. So, why don't you just read the lines that are on the page, please,"
Haters Back Off!
"and act good."
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"He's totally taking me out of it."
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"You know what? Let's just move on to the next scene,"
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"the romantic scene,"
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"where Daddy Warbucks and Annie share their first kiss."
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"There is no such scene in Annie!"
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"[scoffs] Here we go with this guy again."
Haters Back Off!
"action."
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""I would go to the ends of the earth to find your parents,"
Haters Back Off!
"Well, you're in luck."
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"I got soft orphan lips."
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"This musical is absurd, not to mention completely inappropriate."
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"Are you going to kiss her or not?"
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"I most certainly am not!"
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"In fact, I'm afraid Roderick J. Pavement"
Haters Back Off!
"is officially stepping down from this production,"
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"shuffling off this mortal coil..."
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"with my dignity intact."
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""All that live must die,"
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"And that is the kind of theatrical explosiveness"
Haters Back Off!
"you will be missing out on."
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"- Good day! - Good day to you!"
Haters Back Off!
"Jim, you're doing the rehearsal without me?"
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"I said I work until 5:00."
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"You're the one who chose to have a job, Bethany."
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"That shows a real lack of commitment."
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"Mom, Daddy Warbucks just quit and we were gonna send this to Broadway."
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"Now what am I gonna do?"
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"You know what? I'll be the hero."
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"I'll play Daddy Warbucks."
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"Understudy... Understudy's ready."
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"[stammering] I'm the understudy, and I already know all the lines, so..."
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"Okay, well, it's gonna be hard for you to beat"
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"the chemistry I have with Uncle Jim, but you can try."
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"Well, um, actually..."
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"maybe someone else would like to quit."
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"I just need someone who'll play every single role."
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"Who's with me?"
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"No, I don't want you. I'm not even looking at you."
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"[grunts]"
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"All right. Let's start with the choreography, people."
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"Everyone up on stage."
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"Now, it's very important that the moves come from your core."
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"The lap area is key."
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"One second."
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"- [upbeat music playing] - Oh, ho, ho!"
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"We're gonna present the hip!"
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"Present the hip!"
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"It's like you're showing your hip"
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"That's right."
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"Do it like Miranda. Yes, you gotta... No!"
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"Loose hips. Loose hips."
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"It's somebody's birthday, and you're presenting your hip."
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""Happy birthday! Here's my hip.""
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"Point attack. Point attack."
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"Like you're attacking with your toe and your finger."
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"Really use your lap. Feel like a..."
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"[panting] like a 300-pound dancer"
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"And bobble, bobble, bobble. Bobble, bobble, bobble."
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"Okay. Cut, cut! Stop! I can't concentrate."
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"They are terrible, Uncle Jim!"
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"They're completely messing up my lap dance."
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"Miranda, you're right, okay? When you were doing it, it felt great."
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"But then they came in and they made it all floppy."
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"Just, everyone, take five!"
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""Daddy saddle"? How'd you know what this is?"
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"[footsteps approaching]"
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"Oh, there you are. [sighs]"
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"Rehearsal's over and you missed the finale."
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"I really could've used the trees! You better not be late tomorrow."
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"We're starting with the scene where Annie murders the dog."
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"[Miranda imitates crying]"
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"- My dog always tells me that... - Cut!"
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"I'm not giving you what you need as an actor."
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"Which is a dog."
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"Hey, sorry to interrupt. Look, I finished your Annie costume."
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"These stitches were tricky 'cause the sleeves were..."
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"Bethany! We are going to Broadway."
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"We got them from Party City."
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"Yeah, check it out."
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"Oh, my God! It's so short."
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"What? But you said I was ready for this,"
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"'cause I went through puberty and I blossomed."
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"Bethany, why are you trying to cover up her blossom?"
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"Okay, I can't have you out here upsetting my cast members."
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"Well, how dare you put her in that dress?"
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"[Jim] Okay, someone pooped out here. Was it Emily?"
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"Well, it wasn't me."
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"I tried to go earlier but I had to clench, because Emily clogged the toilet."
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"Okay, Bethany, while you're putting that away,"
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"No, I won't, Jim. I think you should plunge it yourself."
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"[inhales sharply] How dare you!"
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"You aren't doing anything."
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"You're a producer."
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"I will plunge it. Okay?"
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"Okay, good."
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"Okay, my apologies."
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"[Bethany] Yes. Well, thank you so much for returning my call."
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"Um, as I said, I do not know a lot about toilets."
Haters Back Off!
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