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Clips from Hogan's Heroes - The Flight of the Valkyrie (S01E01)

Oh, yes, of course.

"Oh, yes, of course."

Hogan's Heroes

It's classic. It's classic.

"It's classic. It's classic."

Hogan's Heroes

And do you know what else?

"And do you know what else?"

Hogan's Heroes

I imagine it's been quite some time?

"I imagine it's been quite some time?"

Hogan's Heroes

Oh, yes...

"Oh, yes..."

Hogan's Heroes

Well, we can't have you

"Well, we can't have you"

Hogan's Heroes

going down digging tunnels, can we?

"going down digging tunnels, can we?"

Hogan's Heroes

A week's rest and you'll be as good as new.

"A week's rest and you'll be as good as new."

Hogan's Heroes

Our duty is to escape, escape, escape!

"Our duty is to escape, escape, escape!"

Hogan's Heroes

Naturally, but I-I don't see how.

"Naturally, but I-I don't see how."

Hogan's Heroes

Well, there are other ways, apart from digging.

"Well, there are other ways, apart from digging."

Hogan's Heroes

Look here-- this camp is laid out so a child could escape.

"Look here-- this camp is laid out so a child could escape."

Hogan's Heroes

Why, beyond the barbed wire there, the-the woods are ridiculously close.

"Why, beyond the barbed wire there, the-the woods are ridiculously close."

Hogan's Heroes

Funny, I've never noticed.

"Funny, I've never noticed."

Hogan's Heroes

Had you never thought about it?

"Had you never thought about it?"

Hogan's Heroes

All we need is someone to create a diversion

"All we need is someone to create a diversion"

Hogan's Heroes

while we cut the wire and run for it.

"while we cut the wire and run for it."

Hogan's Heroes

Diversion. Diversion.

"Diversion. Diversion."

Hogan's Heroes

Excitement, noise.

"Excitement, noise."

Hogan's Heroes

Just the thing.

"Just the thing."

Hogan's Heroes

But we had to give it up. They were all kettle drums.

"But we had to give it up. They were all kettle drums."

Hogan's Heroes

You know, uh, Germans love Wagner anyway.

"You know, uh, Germans love Wagner anyway."

Hogan's Heroes

Come on, I mean, we couldn't play

"Come on, I mean, we couldn't play"

Hogan's Heroes

while you're cutting through the wire.

"while you're cutting through the wire."

Hogan's Heroes

Put something up at the other side of the camp.

"Put something up at the other side of the camp."

Hogan's Heroes

Have you no imagination, man?

"Have you no imagination, man?"

Hogan's Heroes

Maybe if you went to Klink in a couple of days

"Maybe if you went to Klink in a couple of days"

Hogan's Heroes

Why, with a spot of luck,

"Why, with a spot of luck,"

Hogan's Heroes

I could be out of here tomorrow night.

"I could be out of here tomorrow night."

Hogan's Heroes

Really?

"Really?"

Hogan's Heroes

And you, too, Hogan, if you had a bit of sand.

"And you, too, Hogan, if you had a bit of sand."

Hogan's Heroes

You've never seen me play kettledrums.

"You've never seen me play kettledrums."

Hogan's Heroes

Colonel Hogan! Colonel Hogan!

"Colonel Hogan! Colonel Hogan!"

Hogan's Heroes

Hi, Schultz. Please...

"Hi, Schultz. Please..."

Hogan's Heroes

You didn't know I played

"You didn't know I played"

Hogan's Heroes

with the Mound City Blue Blowers, did you?

"with the Mound City Blue Blowers, did you?"

Hogan's Heroes

Colonel Hogan! Colonel Hogan!

"Colonel Hogan! Colonel Hogan!"

Hogan's Heroes

What is it, Schultz?

"What is it, Schultz?"

Hogan's Heroes

I'm their sole support.

"I'm their sole support."

Hogan's Heroes

to have female spies walking around the camp.

"to have female spies walking around the camp."

Hogan's Heroes

What?

"What?"

Hogan's Heroes

Walking around the camp.

"Walking around the camp."

Hogan's Heroes

Where did she come from?

"Where did she come from?"

Hogan's Heroes

Don't tell me, but wherever it was, put her back.

"Don't tell me, but wherever it was, put her back."

Hogan's Heroes

Not only that, it could've been fatal. Why?

"Not only that, it could've been fatal. Why?"

Hogan's Heroes

I should have told you, but I thought...

"I should have told you, but I thought..."

Hogan's Heroes

I thought I could control it.

"I thought I could control it."

Hogan's Heroes

You see, before I escaped,

"You see, before I escaped,"

Hogan's Heroes

the Gestapo put me in a cell underground.

"the Gestapo put me in a cell underground."

Hogan's Heroes

I thought, just a breath of air...

"I thought, just a breath of air..."

Hogan's Heroes

then I would go back down,

"then I would go back down,"

Hogan's Heroes

but the guard spotted me.

"but the guard spotted me."

Hogan's Heroes

Oh, it was weak. It was foolish.

"Oh, it was weak. It was foolish."

Hogan's Heroes

Fortunately, it was Schultz.

"Fortunately, it was Schultz."

Hogan's Heroes

You have bribed him?

"You have bribed him?"

Hogan's Heroes

he shouldn't know.

"he shouldn't know."

Hogan's Heroes

I think I could go into the tunnel now.

"I think I could go into the tunnel now."

Hogan's Heroes

All right. Let me look around first.

"All right. Let me look around first."

Hogan's Heroes

It's all set.

"It's all set."

Hogan's Heroes

Corporal Franston, one of my best.

"Corporal Franston, one of my best."

Hogan's Heroes

Our best. Your best.

"Our best. Your best."

Hogan's Heroes

Oh, perfectly, perfectly.

"Oh, perfectly, perfectly."

Hogan's Heroes

Well, we've got our tent.

"Well, we've got our tent."

Hogan's Heroes

Oh, great. I've got just the place to set it up.

"Oh, great. I've got just the place to set it up."

Hogan's Heroes

Now, we've got to get to work on the wire cutters.

"Now, we've got to get to work on the wire cutters."

Hogan's Heroes

Are you sure this corporal's all right?

"Are you sure this corporal's all right?"

Hogan's Heroes

All right? She's more than all right, she's... a he.

"All right? She's more than all right, she's... a he."

Hogan's Heroes

What in blazes is a woman doing here?

"What in blazes is a woman doing here?"

Hogan's Heroes

Hiding, Colonel Crittendon.

"Hiding, Colonel Crittendon."

Hogan's Heroes

And she's German, too.

"And she's German, too."

Hogan's Heroes

Hogan, don't you realize who this woman is?

"Hogan, don't you realize who this woman is?"

Hogan's Heroes

Don't you know we could all be shot

"Don't you know we could all be shot"

Hogan's Heroes

if we're even found with her?

"if we're even found with her?"

Hogan's Heroes

each year in auto accidents?

"each year in auto accidents?"

Hogan's Heroes

As prisoners of war, our sole obligation is to escape.

"As prisoners of war, our sole obligation is to escape."

Hogan's Heroes

In every other area, we-we cooperate fully with the enemy powers.

"In every other area, we-we cooperate fully with the enemy powers."

Hogan's Heroes

I regret I shall have to turn you in.

"I regret I shall have to turn you in."

Hogan's Heroes

You're going to hate yourself.

"You're going to hate yourself."

Hogan's Heroes

Are you, um, threatening me?

"Are you, um, threatening me?"

Hogan's Heroes

Colonel Crittendon, you are a soldier.

"Colonel Crittendon, you are a soldier."

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I don't speak to you as a woman,

"I don't speak to you as a woman,"

Hogan's Heroes

but as one who is fighting for the same cause--

"but as one who is fighting for the same cause--"

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a traitor, if you will,

"a traitor, if you will,"

Hogan's Heroes

who is fighting for honor to return to her country.

"who is fighting for honor to return to her country."

Hogan's Heroes

If you wish to turn me in, I am ready.

"If you wish to turn me in, I am ready."

Hogan's Heroes

That'd be just about right.

"That'd be just about right."

Hogan's Heroes

Odd, you know, Hogan.

"Odd, you know, Hogan."

Hogan's Heroes

She's, uh... she's remarkably similar

"She's, uh... she's remarkably similar"

Hogan's Heroes

to the girl I saw in my, uh, hallucination.

"to the girl I saw in my, uh, hallucination."

Hogan's Heroes

You know what that means?

"You know what that means?"

Hogan's Heroes

No, what?

"No, what?"

Hogan's Heroes

You've got good taste.

"You've got good taste."

Hogan's Heroes

Bum, bum, ba-ba-ba-bum, rum-pa-pum-pum-pum,

"Bum, bum, ba-ba-ba-bum, rum-pa-pum-pum-pum,"

Hogan's Heroes

rum-pa-pum-pum-pum... Incredible!

"rum-pa-pum-pum-pum... Incredible!"

Hogan's Heroes

Yes, Herr Kommandant.

"Yes, Herr Kommandant."

Hogan's Heroes

How well they play, these prisoners.

"How well they play, these prisoners."

Hogan's Heroes

Would you believe it-- this is their first rehearsal.

"Would you believe it-- this is their first rehearsal."

Hogan's Heroes

They must be trained musicians, Herr Kommandant.

"They must be trained musicians, Herr Kommandant."

Hogan's Heroes

They play Wagner like Germans.

"They play Wagner like Germans."

Hogan's Heroes

You know, Helga...

"You know, Helga..."

Hogan's Heroes

You know that the whole of our beautiful national soul,

"You know that the whole of our beautiful national soul,"

Hogan's Heroes

our culture is expressed in The Ride of the Valkyries.

"our culture is expressed in The Ride of the Valkyries."

Hogan's Heroes

As a warrior, you must feel it deeply.

"As a warrior, you must feel it deeply."

Hogan's Heroes

I do.

"I do."

Hogan's Heroes

Perhaps some day, as a fallen hero,

"Perhaps some day, as a fallen hero,"

Hogan's Heroes

of a beautiful German war maiden...

"of a beautiful German war maiden..."

Hogan's Heroes

such as you, my dear Helga.

"such as you, my dear Helga."

Hogan's Heroes

Are you volunteering for active duty, Herr Kommandant?

"Are you volunteering for active duty, Herr Kommandant?"

Hogan's Heroes

Be quiet and listen to the music.

"Be quiet and listen to the music."

Hogan's Heroes

A beauty, huh, Schultz?

"A beauty, huh, Schultz?"

Hogan's Heroes

Where's the orchestra?

"Where's the orchestra?"

Hogan's Heroes

I'm talking about the airplane.

"I'm talking about the airplane."

Hogan's Heroes

Kinch.

"Kinch."

Hogan's Heroes

All ready, Colonel.

"All ready, Colonel."

Hogan's Heroes

HOGAN: Okay, Lili.

"HOGAN: Okay, Lili."

Hogan's Heroes

This is too much. I must protest.

"This is too much. I must protest."

Hogan's Heroes

Please, Colonel Hogan, my family.

"Please, Colonel Hogan, my family."

Hogan's Heroes

Did I tell you I'm the sole provider?

"Did I tell you I'm the sole provider?"

Hogan's Heroes

You should see how they can eat. Please, Colonel...

"You should see how they can eat. Please, Colonel..."

Hogan's Heroes

Where is he?! Oh, don't tell me!

"Where is he?! Oh, don't tell me!"

Hogan's Heroes

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