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Clips from Kevin Can Wait - Unholy War (S01E01)

"Unsaddle, go home, pick another wedding date."
Kevin Can Wait
"What, your cholesterol's under 550?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Gable's out of control, Father. He's been..."
Kevin Can Wait
"Just be more careful. I have a lot on my plate today."
Kevin Can Wait
"Sister Connie's sick,"
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"I am Mr. Gable, and I will be filling in for Sister Connie,"
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"Is Sister going to die?"
Kevin Can Wait
"What?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh. No, no, no, no, no."
Kevin Can Wait
"I mean, we're all gonna die someday, right?"
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"Everybody stand up. We're gonna stretch it out."
Kevin Can Wait
"Now let's go the other way, circles back the other way."
Kevin Can Wait
"This is weird."
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay, let's... Let's talk about religion."
Kevin Can Wait
"What do you want to know?"
Kevin Can Wait
"How do you know?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay."
Kevin Can Wait
"1986... The Mets are one out away"
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"from losing the World Series to the Boston Red Sox."
Kevin Can Wait
"Across town, a wiry 16-year-old from Massapequa says a prayer,"
Kevin Can Wait
"that ball rolled through, and the Mets won the Series."
Kevin Can Wait
"Mm, apparently, not hard enough, right?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Kids, we know that God exists,"
Kevin Can Wait
"because, well, He is existence."
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"His beauty's in the sun that rises,"
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"Oh, no, no. No, no."
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"It's all spot-on. Spot-on."
Kevin Can Wait
"Hey."
Kevin Can Wait
"What?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Labasco... He's leaving us in the dust."
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"There is a big fundraising dinner at the church."
Kevin Can Wait
"- What? - Well, it's mostly famous"
Kevin Can Wait
"Uh, what should I make, then?"
Kevin Can Wait
"No, it's Italian. "La zagna"... "the zagna.""
Kevin Can Wait
"Um, okay, so, I-I know that you guys"
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah, and we're gonna get it for you. You're good."
Kevin Can Wait
"maybe it'd be better to push it back a bit."
Kevin Can Wait
"What's... the matter?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Well, it turns out Chale and I still have a lot to talk about."
Kevin Can Wait
"Y-Yes, this morning, we discovered"
Kevin Can Wait
"we have some issues festering beneath the surface."
Kevin Can Wait
"Okay, well, you're getting married on the 17th,"
Kevin Can Wait
"so slap a Band-Aid on your issues, okay?"
Kevin Can Wait
"is winning this one."
Kevin Can Wait
"how run-down the confessional was getting,"
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"so I just... I just wanted to fix the hinge,"
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"W-Why don't you give it a try?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, wow! This is a sweet ride!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Thank you, Kevin."
Kevin Can Wait
"Don't thank me."
Kevin Can Wait
"Thank the Lord. He's the one guiding me."
Kevin Can Wait
"It's been three weeks since my last confession."
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"Oh, uh, no, no. I'm n..."
Kevin Can Wait
"I have been very unkind to a fellow parishioner."
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"It goes back to grade school."
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"He was so funny."
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"He was a... He was a large boy."
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"Everybody loves the large boy, you know?"
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"And now I'm just acting like a jerk all over again,"
Kevin Can Wait
"because we want the same stupid wedding date."
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"you know, it just comes back to my heart issues,"
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"my... my... my... My ticker."
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"They never match."
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"to see my little girl get married."
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"Hey."
Kevin Can Wait
"Hey!"
Kevin Can Wait
"Introducing Donna Gable's..."
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"Yeah, we got to give, uh, Terry Labasco the date."
Kevin Can Wait
"What?"
Kevin Can Wait
"Trust me, it means a lot more to him than it does to us."
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"What happened?"
Kevin Can Wait
"I learned some stuff today... Some personal stuff."
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"Really? Are you sure?"
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"I'm sure. He was in my confessional today."
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"He thought I was a priest."
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"Look, if I walk you through it,"
Kevin Can Wait
"you'd realize it's not a big deal."
Kevin Can Wait
"Oh, man."
Kevin Can Wait
"It makes you think about stuff."
Kevin Can Wait
"What are we gonna do with all this lasagna?"
Kevin Can Wait
"No. It's going to the church."
Kevin Can Wait
"Um, okay, so, we just wanted to apologize."
Kevin Can Wait
"So we are good to go on the 17th!"
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"I already talked to Father Philip."
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"It's yours."
Kevin Can Wait
"- Wow. - Yeah, and you know what?"
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"Enjoy the day, and..."
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"Actually, enjoy every day."
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"Thanks."
Kevin Can Wait
"My... My little girl..."
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"Linda. Hey."
Kevin Can Wait
"decided to give you guys the date."
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"Thank you."
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah, and... and please know that I'm here for you."
Kevin Can Wait
"O-Okay."
Kevin Can Wait
"Also, I'm a nurse, so if you need anything"
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"Terry's heart condition."
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"Thank you."
Kevin Can Wait
"You know my situation."
Kevin Can Wait
"He played you."
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"No, he knew it was you."
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"I just talked to his wife."
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"Hey, Labasco, how you feeling?"
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"Oh, no. No. It's mine."
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"Mine."
Kevin Can Wait
"and... well, it got away from me."
Kevin Can Wait
"Mm-hmm."
Kevin Can Wait
"Of course, you know about the stick fight outside the church."
Kevin Can Wait
"That's probably why neither family is getting the 17th."
Kevin Can Wait
"Mm-hmm."
Kevin Can Wait
"All right."
Kevin Can Wait
"About an hour ago, I sat in a handicapped parking spot"
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"and ate an entire tray of lasagna"
Kevin Can Wait
"that I promised my wife I would give to the church."
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"So... there's nothing left?"
Kevin Can Wait
"There may be a corner."
Kevin Can Wait
"Luckily, my mother had to pull out"
Kevin Can Wait
"So, what Chale is trying to say is, we're good."
Kevin Can Wait
"Yeah, no go."
Kevin Can Wait
"Come on."
Kevin Can Wait
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