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Clips from MacGyver - Fish Scaler (S01E01)

"No."
MacGyver
"So... Jack's evaluation seems to be going well."
MacGyver
"I can't believe we all have to do one of those."
MacGyver
"Can't she just fire me based on my résumé?"
MacGyver
"Relax."
MacGyver
"history."
MacGyver
"He claims she's the reason he left the CIA."
MacGyver
"Any idea what happened between them?"
MacGyver
"No, he won't tell me."
MacGyver
"Which means whatever it is... it's got to be his fault."
MacGyver
"It also means that unless Matty"
MacGyver
"was your station chief for 18 months in South America,"
MacGyver
"these evaluations are nothing to worry about."
MacGyver
"Oh, really?"
MacGyver
"Is that why yours keeps getting postponed?"
MacGyver
"- Postponed? - Oh, yeah. Twice."
MacGyver
"First, a coffee machine mysteriously catches fire."
MacGyver
"Then, a well-placed gum wrapper"
MacGyver
"puts Phoenix's entire security system on lockdown."
MacGyver
"I know, it's weird. I wonder how that got wedged in there."
MacGyver
"So maybe Riley and I aren't the only ones"
MacGyver
"Can't stall forever, Mac."
MacGyver
"Just got a text."
MacGyver
"From Matty Webber."
MacGyver
"- Everything okay in here? - Yeah, super."
MacGyver
"We were just reminiscing about old times, weren't we?"
MacGyver
"- Yeah. - Yeah."
MacGyver
"called "FR-1507"?"
MacGyver
"Uh, yeah, yeah."
MacGyver
"It's a new facial-recognition program I'm working on."
MacGyver
"Still in beta testing right now,"
MacGyver
"but we're comparing random faces in YouTube videos"
MacGyver
"Well, you may have been looking for false positives,"
MacGyver
"but you found a real criminal."
MacGyver
"Take a look at what just came in."
MacGyver
"Bummer it had to interrupt our little chitchat."
MacGyver
"Shut up, Jack."
MacGyver
"Oh, snap, I saw this already. It's amazing."
MacGyver
"Hey, watch right here when the bottle breaks over the dude's head."
MacGyver
"And... bam!"
MacGyver
"Wait, this ding dong stealing Ding Dong's"
MacGyver
"- on the FBI's Most Wanted? - Not him."
MacGyver
"- Him. - Oh."
MacGyver
"for a fugitive named Douglas Bishop,"
MacGyver
"number six on FBI's Most Wanted."
MacGyver
"Bishop was a top lieutenant in the Philly mob"
MacGyver
"until Special Agent Eva Santos"
MacGyver
"was tasked with busting him."
MacGyver
"According to this,"
MacGyver
"Bishop gunned her down and escaped before he could stand trial."
MacGyver
"Yeah, the FBI's gonna want this collar."
MacGyver
"Shouldn't we be sharing this intel with them?"
MacGyver
"I'd love to if we can trust them."
MacGyver
"- We can't trust the feds? - Not on when it comes to Bishop."
MacGyver
"He's been on their radar for years,"
MacGyver
"targeted in multiple investigations,"
MacGyver
"and then somehow has slipped through the cracks"
MacGyver
"every single time."
MacGyver
"You think he's got an agent in his pocket, helping him escape?"
MacGyver
"I think that there's reason to suspect it,"
MacGyver
"and until we know the truth, we can't trust anyone at the FBI."
MacGyver
"We want Bishop to answer for killing a federal agent,"
MacGyver
"we're just gonna have to catch him ourselves."
MacGyver
"Mac, Jack, you'll find Bishop."
MacGyver
"Riley, you'll run surveillance from Phoenix."
MacGyver
"And Bozer... what exactly is it that you do here again?"
MacGyver
"I know. I was messing with you."
MacGyver
"I want you and Riley here"
MacGyver
"so that we can do your evaluations."
MacGyver
"Okay, people, this is our first op together as a team."
MacGyver
"Time to show me what you've got."
MacGyver
"Ilene Preskin?"
MacGyver
"All right, look, I'll tell you two guys what I told the other guys."
MacGyver
"I am not looking for representation."
MacGyver
"I do not want to do any television appearances,"
MacGyver
"and I am not looking to sell my life rights."
MacGyver
"Ma'am... who is it you think we are?"
MacGyver
"Come on, you Hollywood types been coming here, bugging me"
MacGyver
"ever since my nephew posted that damn video."
MacGyver
"You think we're, uh..."
MacGyver
"We are Hollywood types. She got us pegged."
MacGyver
"You got a great eye. Yeah, especially this guy."
MacGyver
"Totally. We are from Hollywood,"
MacGyver
"and we're here about your video,"
MacGyver
"We think he has that certain"
MacGyver
""it factor" that we need for our next project."
MacGyver
"- Do you know him? - Charlie?"
MacGyver
"Yeah, I know him. He comes in here all the time."
MacGyver
"And does Charlie have a last name?"
MacGyver
"A stage name, perhaps?"
MacGyver
"Well, I don't know, I never asked,"
MacGyver
"but it's not like you need an ID to buy Gooey-Pies."
MacGyver
"He comes in here once a day."
MacGyver
"He gets a box of them Gooey-Pies,"
MacGyver
"chat."
MacGyver
"Do you know where he lives?"
MacGyver
"I mean, he's never asked me out, but,"
MacGyver
"Oh. May I?"
MacGyver
"Knock yourself out..."
MacGyver
"but I'll tell you what,"
MacGyver
"you use Charlie's name,"
MacGyver
"and I will sue you."
MacGyver
"- Well, thanks, Ilene, - you've been extremely helpful."
MacGyver
"She has?"
MacGyver
"You have."
MacGyver
"I think I'm gonna have my people call your people. Do lunch."
MacGyver
"Ciao, mama."
MacGyver
"Okay, all right."
MacGyver
"I know I'm probably missing something again,"
MacGyver
"but didn't she just say she didn't know Douglas' last name or where he lived?"
MacGyver
"Don't tell me you just turned a photo"
MacGyver
"of a sketch of a bird into a fugitive finder?"
MacGyver
"- Okay, I won't tell you, then. - Okay, smarty-pants."
MacGyver
"Now you have to tell me, I insist."
MacGyver
"See this sketch?"
MacGyver
"Yeah."
MacGyver
"Well, it's a view out of a window,"
MacGyver
"and I'm thinking it's Bishop's window."
MacGyver
"Since we can identify two large buildings,"
MacGyver
"we're just a little trigonometry away"
MacGyver
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