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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S05E05)

"Well, it is a lot cheaper than buying a condom."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(EX CLAIMS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Actually, you know what it was?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Me? - ALL: Ted?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah. We were all sitting over there."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And here's a picture of my cats dressed up like Batman villains."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You got the Joker, the Riddler, Mr. Freeze..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, what about Catwoman?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, that would've been good."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Nice."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I was not checking out a girl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(MAN CHATTERING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We were checking out Mustache Marshall."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"ALL: Oh!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, well, it's nice to know "past me" wasn't a total jackass, huh?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""Present you" isn't so bad, either."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Thank you very much. Yes. - You got it?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, yeah! I remember this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And there's the Chrysler Building. And the Empire State Building."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That's kind of sweet."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, look, snack break."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Good for them."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Letting a guy eat pizza off your back, that's love."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(JEN GIGGLING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, I know this wasn't the best first date of all time,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but I'm glad we stuck it out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I remember now."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, would you maybe want to go out again?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, I... I would."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Will you call me? - Absolutely."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Promise? - Promise."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I have been so busy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Good night, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CAT MEOWING OPERA)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look, I know I'm seven years late with this call,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but I was an idiot back then."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You saw the goatee."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The truth is, I had a great time tonight, and I'd love to see you again."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, there are two kinds of guys."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The guys that you want to call you, who don't,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And somehow, right now, you're both."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I wish that I could, but I've been doing this for so long,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm all confused about death and sex."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's gotten to the point where every time I drive past a cemetery,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"you have my permission to fantasize about her."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Thanks, baby. I'm so lucky to have you. And stripper you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know, I don't come here that much."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, Barney. Here's the usual"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and I'll send over the other usual as soon as she's done stretching."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Thank you, kindly stranger."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'll load up some AC/DC for you, buddy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"please put your hands together for (STAMMERING) Jasmine."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CROWD CHEERING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I am hot! - Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Crawl for it, stripper me. This is awesome, baby."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Can I get another $100? - That was $100?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Wow, she crawls fast."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look, Jen, I wish I could go back and talk some sense into 2002 Ted,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but that guy's a lost cause."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"He's 24. He thinks a little facial hair makes him look like Johnny Depp."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And he has no idea what a great girl he's missing out on."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But I've learned a lot since then. I've learned a lot tonight."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The only thing that we've learned is that"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"seven years ago, it was a mistake for us to go out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And I guess it was a mistake for us to go out tonight."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, it wasn't."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"if you think about it, we didn't miss by that much."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I mean, if a couple of things had gone a little bit differently,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"who knows what would have happened?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You see, you're the only star in the film I never made"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You are the best, you are the best."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That changes things. We need to have a serious talk about this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I wish I could help, but my unbelievably cool wife"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, if you need me, I'll be getting grinded like some pepper in the champagne room."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I just remembered why I didn't call you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Why?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SIGHING) I can't believe I'm gonna screw this up again."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- But I like finding typos in menus. - What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm not suddenly gonna stop making stupid jokes."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm never going to stop talking about my cats."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"They're funny and adorable and totally worth having to take six Benadryl a day."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Shouldn't we hold out for the person"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"who doesn't just tolerate our little quirks, but actually kind of likes them?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Even if it means finding ourselves on another blind date with each other"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- seven years from now? - Oh, dear God, I hope that doesn't happen."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, good luck out there, Jen."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You'll find your shellfish lady."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: And kids, when I told your mother that shellfish joke,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"she did laugh."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And I swear, it was only, like, 30% pity."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, Lil. Looks like Jasmine's having a hard time getting out of those boots."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(IN FOREIGN ACCENT) What did you say, buddy?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Lily? - Who?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, yes, I am this Lily."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We married long time."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Lily!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Guess who just got four tickets to the Origins of Chewbacca Star Wars exhibit?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Why? - No, I said, "Guess who?""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I mean, even just an everyday phrase book would be helpful."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm between jobs. Internet bubble burst."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(DOORBELL RINGING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but you didn't do the check dance."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Tone down the kitty talk. Check."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, hey, hey!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- So you went to a strip club? - (CHUCKLING) Busted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Not even about his shockingly small wiener?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Trouble? What trouble? - It's... No, it's nothing."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You kill me off?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Murder? No! I... Baby, no. You develop a chronic illness!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I spare no expense for your care! I even set up a foundation in your name."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I remember him coming across as kind of a player."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hello? - Jen, I'm sorry."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"My girlfriend is at a strip club with me and she couldn't care less."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I do care, Barney. Look, we're dating now, okay?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Just the best. - Hey, girlfriend trouble?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"just bought us a private dance with her stripper body double."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SIGHS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And I know my shellfish pun is stupid, but the truth is,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now that you mention it,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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