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Clips from The Love Boat (1977) - Julie's Old Flame/The Jinx/The Identical Problem (S01E01)

"Connie and me."
The Love Boat (1977)
"I told you not to ask me. You know I can't keep a secret."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Connie and you? That's funny,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"'cause last night in the moonlight,"
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"it was Connie and me."
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"Oh, you poor gullible fool, you. Me?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"I'll tell you who's gullible: you."
The Love Boat (1977)
"That girl's only after one thing: your job."
The Love Boat (1977)
"And she'll use anybody to try and get it."
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"if you had a long-term contract."
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"Honestly, you guys, and they say women are suspicious."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Let's see, you're a Tom Collins."
The Love Boat (1977)
"You are a gin and tonic."
The Love Boat (1977)
"And you are a zombie."
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"Oh, nothing personal. Heh, heh."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Well, I didn't know they made orthopedic bathing suits. Ha."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Oh, well, listen to the sexpot."
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"No sex and all pot."
The Love Boat (1977)
"I'd love to stand here and watch the sun dry you out,"
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"but, uh, Barbi and I have plans."
The Love Boat (1977)
"First a little fiesta, and then a little siesta."
The Love Boat (1977)
"If you know what that means."
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"Oh, sure."
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"One drink and you're out cold."
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"Here he comes."
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"Hey, good morning, Theodore."
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"S-say what?"
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"Good morning."
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"Oh, oh."
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"Good morning."
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"Good morning."
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"Well... would you adopt me?"
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"I-I'm a nice kid. A-affectionate."
The Love Boat (1977)
"And... A-a-and I work hard."
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"And I had a paper route ever since I was 6."
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"And... oh. Oh, and I'm gonna grow taller."
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"Look, Theodore, I..."
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"I-I-I'd be perfect for your kids to play with."
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"Theodore... It's okay."
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"Theodore, our son died."
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"Oh."
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"Yeah."
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"Then we'd be perfect for each other."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Well, seeing as how you're kinda like orphans too."
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"You look beautiful."
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"Well, you're looking pretty good yourself."
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"You know, Theodore thinks you are very together."
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"Isn't he something?"
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"Can you imagine? A kid with his background,"
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"one orphanage after another and he still turned out great."
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"Hey, Richard, with the advantages"
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"we could give him... Sharon, he has parents."
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"Oh. He does not."
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"I spoke to the captain today."
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"He ran away from home,"
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"and his parents are coming to pick him up in Puerto Vallarta."
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"I see, and who paid for his cabin on this ship?"
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"He did, with his newspaper route money."
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"That's ridiculous."
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"He just told everybody that story because he doesn't want"
The Love Boat (1977)
"'em to know the truth."
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"Richard, nobody wants him."
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"He... He told me, his... His uncle in Mexico paid for the trip."
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"Theodore is being forced on him,"
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"because he happens to be a relative."
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"He's gonna be taken off this ship to live the rest"
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"who doesn't give a damn about him."
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"which I doubt, we couldn't do anything about it."
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"Can we just see what happens in Puerto Vallarta?"
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"Please."
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"Okay."
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"Thank you. Mwah!"
The Love Boat (1977)
"Guess who's coming to dinner."
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"Hey, guys, what do you think of my idea for the captain's"
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"cocktail party: Wild West Night."
The Love Boat (1977)
"We'll get all the crew and all the passengers,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"and everybody to dress up in Western clothes,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"and we'll have the waiters wear big old handlebar mustaches,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"and big cowboy hats, and..."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Oh, and we'll serve mugs of beer and red-eye,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"and we'll just all sit around"
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"and sing all those old Western songs."
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"What do you think? Yeah."
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"I think that's terrific."
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"Good evening, all."
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"Good evening, sir."
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"Uh, Miss Evans has just told me about a wonderful idea"
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"she has for my farewell cocktail party:"
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"a wild West night."
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"No kidding."
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"Hey, guys, I'll bet the waiters can wear cowboy hats,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"and handlebar mustaches."
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"And we can serve beer in mugs, and red-eye."
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"And sing all the old-fashioned Western songs?"
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"Darn tootin'."
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"Well, I see she's already told you."
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"How did you ever think of it?"
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"Just came to me."
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"And since this is Miss Evans' own idea,"
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"I think we should let her handle all of it. Oh!"
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"I was just about to make that very same suggestion."
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"Good."
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"Shall we? Yes."
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"How about that?"
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"Yeah."
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"And I thought you said it was your idea."
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"Theodore, open the door."
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"Theodore, we're gonna talk to your uncle."
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"We're gonna try and work something out."
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"Come on."
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"No way, man."
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"They'll never take me alive."
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"I have tried everything."
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"He won't come out."
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"Well, it's kind of academic now."
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"Nobody showed up to claim him."
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"Nobody?"
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"Sorry."
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"Hey, Theodore, you got us."
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"Hey!"
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