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Clips from Superstore (2015) - Workplace Bullying (S03E03)

"Well, I didn't actually do anything..."
Superstore (2015)
"Exactly. He just sat there"
Superstore (2015)
"and watched a guy rob the store."
Superstore (2015)
"should all do in the future."
Superstore (2015)
"Thank you, Jonah, for actually following protocol."
Superstore (2015)
"Oh, well, yeah. I mean, you know,"
Superstore (2015)
"you guys came up with the policy."
Superstore (2015)
"- It's appreciated. - Oh, my God,"
Superstore (2015)
"just sleep with him, already."
Superstore (2015)
"- What? - Okay,"
Superstore (2015)
"what if someone steals a baby?"
Superstore (2015)
"What then? Do you want me to just sit there"
Superstore (2015)
"and watch someone take a baby?"
Superstore (2015)
"What if the baby is wearing a bomb?"
Superstore (2015)
"I'm trying to picture a scenario in which"
Superstore (2015)
"- somebody planted... - Oh, what if it's baby Hitler?"
Superstore (2015)
"- Oh. - That's a very good question."
Superstore (2015)
"- Is it? - I think you gotta kill"
Superstore (2015)
"- that baby Hitler. - Yeah."
Superstore (2015)
"to be Hitler? What if that baby was gonna"
Superstore (2015)
"grow up to be the exact opposite of Hitler?"
Superstore (2015)
"- Lance Bass. - Interesting."
Superstore (2015)
"- Oh, yeah. - Gotta save that baby."
Superstore (2015)
"- Oh. Different. - Wow."
Superstore (2015)
"Wait, you guys. What if it's baby Oprah,"
Superstore (2015)
"but the person stealing it is Beyoncé?"
Superstore (2015)
"I need a pen and paper."
Superstore (2015)
"Ken, you... You know how much I love you."
Superstore (2015)
"Oh, yeah. Yeah."
Superstore (2015)
"But a thief just wandered into the store this morning."
Superstore (2015)
"I know. Crazy, right?"
Superstore (2015)
"And I hate to be such a Sally Stickler,"
Superstore (2015)
"but technically, you were supposed to be here."
Superstore (2015)
"Yes, yes. And I'm so sorry."
Superstore (2015)
"You know, it just... it takes me forever"
Superstore (2015)
"to get going in the morning."
Superstore (2015)
"'Cause I don't believe in alarm clocks."
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"But we've talked about this before."
Superstore (2015)
"And I think it's time for you to go."
Superstore (2015)
"- Oh. - I'm so, so sorry."
Superstore (2015)
"No, it's nothing to be sorry about."
Superstore (2015)
"Jerusha, how was it? I feel sick!"
Superstore (2015)
"All right. Here you go."
Superstore (2015)
"if you want. Just right out the store."
Superstore (2015)
"you're a sackless wuss that would even let"
Superstore (2015)
"- this pipsqueak rob us. - You know what?"
Superstore (2015)
"I'm just... I'm gonna go pay for it."
Superstore (2015)
"- Yeah, enjoy that. - Sorry. Congratulations."
Superstore (2015)
"I'm a little baby.""
Superstore (2015)
"- No, you can't. - Okay, look,"
Superstore (2015)
"maybe, uh, Jeff calling you out in the meeting this morning"
Superstore (2015)
"that's embarrassing is how far Jeff is up your butt."
Superstore (2015)
"Hello, Jeff? Are you in there?"
Superstore (2015)
"- How insane... - We are not on the same team."
Superstore (2015)
"That's just a little random fact that I knew."
Superstore (2015)
"- Who invented salad? - Good question."
Superstore (2015)
"I have another one. Remember how we were just"
Superstore (2015)
"talking about turkey? Which founding father"
Superstore (2015)
"Anyone? Benjamin Franklin,"
Superstore (2015)
"who, as we all know, also invented the Franklin Stove"
Superstore (2015)
"- I don't think that's true. - Well, it is true."
Superstore (2015)
"So did he invent salad?"
Superstore (2015)
"No. No, that was someone else."
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"Ken? You're... you're here."
Superstore (2015)
"Big time!"
Superstore (2015)
"Okay, um, look, maybe I wasn't clear,"
Superstore (2015)
"But what I meant to say was,"
Superstore (2015)
"move me over to what? Like, sales?"
Superstore (2015)
"- I wasn't... - 'Cause I do think that"
Superstore (2015)
"would be a better fit for my particular skill set."
Superstore (2015)
"Okay. Okay."
Superstore (2015)
"Yes, thanks. Yes, yes."
Superstore (2015)
"we've got some level-headed, calm people working here."
Superstore (2015)
"You know what? This... this might sound weird,"
Superstore (2015)
"I think Dina was a little embarrassed about what happened"
Superstore (2015)
"this morning. And when Dina gets embarrassed,"
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"No, no. That's not what I..."
Superstore (2015)
"No, no, no, no. You don't need"
Superstore (2015)
"Okay, but you understand you just informed me"
Superstore (2015)
"that a superior is bullying you. Legally, that's something"
Superstore (2015)
"I have to report. We've just had"
Superstore (2015)
"too many suicides."
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"Not necessary, no."
Superstore (2015)
"Really? 'Cause you're... you're smiling"
Superstore (2015)
"Huh."
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"It's been brought to my attention that there has been"
Superstore (2015)
"some bullying in the store."
Superstore (2015)
"I have spoken to the person responsible,"
Superstore (2015)
"but I would like to remind everybody"
Superstore (2015)
"that Cloud 9 has a zero tolerance policy"
Superstore (2015)
"What if you're bullying Hitler?"
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"Bullying's probably what made him Hitler."
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"Actually, I think it was not getting into art school."
Superstore (2015)
"Okay, can we just forget about Hitler?"
Superstore (2015)
"- I was not bullied. - Believe me,"
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"If I had bullied Jonah, Justine wouldn't be the only one"
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"Okay, bullying's not just beating people up."
Superstore (2015)
"It's... it's any behavior that's hostile or intimidating."
Superstore (2015)
"Like when your ex buys $300 boots,"
Superstore (2015)
"but all he got you on your birthday was a cake"
Superstore (2015)
"from the store bakery?"
Superstore (2015)
"You said you didn't want anything."
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"So, you know what, that doesn't matter."
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"The point is, we all know what bullying is;"
Superstore (2015)
"harassment, name-calling..."
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"I once met a Greek guy named Herpes, or something like that."
Superstore (2015)
"- I thought you fired that dude. - I did. Twice."
Superstore (2015)
"Okay, so, what are some other examples?"
Superstore (2015)
"- Moron, A-hole... - Bimbo."
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"Bald jerk."
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"Herpes when their name is not Herpes."
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"- Va-Jonah. - Opus Dei. Pasty freak."
Superstore (2015)
"How about being excluded socially?"
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"Sure, especially if they're"
Superstore (2015)
"purposely targeting an individual."
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"What if it was more like a group of people"
Superstore (2015)
"who were planning an event"
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"- Thank you. - Sometimes the bus driver"
Superstore (2015)
"opens the door and, when I try to get in,"
Superstore (2015)
"but then he drives a little more and we're all laughing,"
Superstore (2015)
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