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Clips from The Simpsons - Husbands and Knives (S19E19)

"Really' but I'm so used to my old one"
The Simpsons
"Old one? They're convincing Marge to dump me"
The Simpsons
"from Italy..."
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"you would love a big black one"
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"Marge, get away from them..."
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"you guys have got to help me"
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"If Marge leaves I'll have nothing except my many friends..."
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"and half the fortune she is now making..."
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"Homer I'm going to let you in on a secret"
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"What's your secret?"
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"Just hard work uh-huh..."
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"exercise two hours a day O.K."
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"keep up with the latest fashions Fashions..."
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"and of course cut out all fatty foods and alcohol..."
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"uh-huh uh-huh got it"
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"I know just what it will take to hang onto Marge"
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"Mr Simpson let me outline..."
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"the gastric bypass surgery procedure for you O.K."
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"we put the band around your stomach..."
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"you see just like so"
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"It's a very very serious operation..."
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"you should only undergo it as a last resort..."
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"greatest looking guy in the world..."
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"but I took care of my family and that used to be enough..."
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"but not anymore..."
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"very well. If you wish..."
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"and I know how I can knock myself out"
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"I'll look at your bill"
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"Hmm I guess considering all the training you've received..."
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"this is quite reasonable"
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"Dad are you O.K."
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"I see food on your plate instead of blurring motions"
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"Kids your daddy underwent a special procedure..."
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"No. I had my stomach stapled..."
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"oh all food tastes like barf now"
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"[Marge Gasps]"
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"Welcome home Marge"
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"a smart successful woman like you..."
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"deserves the very best..."
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"you also remembered I like flattery..."
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"do you like guys who are..."
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"attractive"
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"Homey, you look good..."
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"all for you baby..."
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"let me get a good look at you..."
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"why don't you take some time to savor the front..."
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"what are you hiding from me?"
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"is it chocolate"
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"It used to be..."
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"woah - those buns are poppin fresh..."
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"yeah, I'm going to turn off the lights now..."
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"and I'll just fold this old sweaty blanket..."
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"and it's all because of your surgery..."
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"you want me to unstaple your stomach..."
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"no I want you to give me every other surgery you have..."
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"so I can look good..."
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"and can you call it an aortic valve replacement..."
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"so my insurance will cover it..."
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"no problem"
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"O.K. count backwards from ten..."
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"and so to honour her success"
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"I bestow upon Marge Simpson..."
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"oh my implants feel itchy..."
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"yes I was out of silicone rubber..."
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"so I used rolled up socks..."
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"[crowd: gasps in horror]..."
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"he's a monster..."
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"pitchforks everyone..."
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"monster, monster monster..."
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"monster monster..."
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"you better not make me cry..."
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"cause I don't know where my tear ducts are anymore"
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"I appreciate you trying to become more attractive for me..."
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"but the truth is"
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"I'm getting me a trophy husband"
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"I don't want to live without you Marge"
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"O.K."
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"Huh? huh? what? hey."
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"the doctor called me about all the crazy surgeries you wanted..."
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"and I said NO."
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"but I did have him unstaple your stomach..."
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"and turn you back into the sweet man I love"
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"It was all a dream?"
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"I never became a hideous monster?"
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"the only person who thinks you're a monster..."
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"is the one who had to give you a sponge bath..."
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"I sure have..."
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"plastic surgery is a mistake..."
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"because it hasn't been perfected to where you look really good..."
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"Amen..."
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"what is it about me that you find so irresistible?"
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"lets face it you could do better..."
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"I see the same adorable boy I fell in love with..."
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"ooohhh..."
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"well there's nothing like a happy ending"
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"Holy Heavens."
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"is that a meteor heading for the earth..."
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"maybe but tonight there's a benefit..."
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"to the cashbar"
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"twenty-five dollars please..."
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"Phillip K Dick it can't be..."
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"Grand Opening"
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"and it's headed straight for the Pompidou centre"
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"Shut Up her depression medication..."
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"Oh really..."
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"which of the babies is your favourite..."
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"This could be the gym for Me..."
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"you're gunna get so ripped here..."
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"well I'm sure everyone else is having trouble too..."
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"No Shame"
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"Switch stations"
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"We'll have to open a second Shapes"
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"yep nothing beats living on 'wife support'"
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"I used to look like this"
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"we can perform the procedure in the office today."
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"you had your hotdog plumped"
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"ow ow ow ow ow ow"
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"listen Homer I've got to be honest with you..."
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"listen Marge, I've been wondering all these years..."
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"Superman dies Aquaman dies"
The Simpsons
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