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Clips from BoJack Horseman - The Telescope (S01E01)

and sometimes being a star means making tough choices.

"and sometimes being a star means making tough choices."

BoJack Horseman

You can storm out, make a big show out of

"You can storm out, make a big show out of"

BoJack Horseman

or you could be the guy who does his job.

"or you could be the guy who does his job."

BoJack Horseman

it's your turn to talk again.

"it's your turn to talk again."

BoJack Horseman

Look, you're a star, but this is really just

"Look, you're a star, but this is really just"

BoJack Horseman

You can choose whatever path you want,

"You can choose whatever path you want,"

BoJack Horseman

but I'll tell you right now.

"but I'll tell you right now."

BoJack Horseman

You don't win awards and you don't

"You don't win awards and you don't"

BoJack Horseman

get to be on the covers of magazines

"get to be on the covers of magazines"

BoJack Horseman

in the Secretariat movie by being a good friend.

"in the Secretariat movie by being a good friend."

BoJack Horseman

So what do you think, BoJack? That's a courtesy question.

"So what do you think, BoJack? That's a courtesy question."

BoJack Horseman

I already know what you think because I have conversations

"I already know what you think because I have conversations"

BoJack Horseman

I know who you are, and I know

"I know who you are, and I know"

BoJack Horseman

you've already made your decision.

"you've already made your decision."

BoJack Horseman

But if you want to surprise me,

"But if you want to surprise me,"

BoJack Horseman

now's the time to do it.

"now's the time to do it."

BoJack Horseman

But if Herb's really your friend, he'll understand.

"But if Herb's really your friend, he'll understand."

BoJack Horseman

so I'll let you get ready.

"so I'll let you get ready."

BoJack Horseman

I don't totally know what "turnaround" means,

"I don't totally know what "turnaround" means,"

BoJack Horseman

This house is way bigger than yours.

"This house is way bigger than yours."

BoJack Horseman

Herb's done really well for a guy you dicked over.

"Herb's done really well for a guy you dicked over."

BoJack Horseman

in case we need to leave in a hurry.

"in case we need to leave in a hurry."

BoJack Horseman

Yeah, you don't look so hot yourself, Herb.

"Yeah, you don't look so hot yourself, Herb."

BoJack Horseman

I have cancer.

"I have cancer."

BoJack Horseman

And hello. Who's this stunning creature?

"And hello. Who's this stunning creature?"

BoJack Horseman

has placed you in BoJack's orbit?

"has placed you in BoJack's orbit?"

BoJack Horseman

- Uh... - This is Diane.

"- Uh... - This is Diane."

BoJack Horseman

Pleasure to meet you.

"Pleasure to meet you."

BoJack Horseman

I joke. It's what I do.

"I joke. It's what I do."

BoJack Horseman

Please, come in.

"Please, come in."

BoJack Horseman

Ha ha...

"Ha ha..."

BoJack Horseman

Almost there.

"Almost there."

BoJack Horseman

Oh, thanks. Thanks.

"Oh, thanks. Thanks."

BoJack Horseman

BoJack, how are your utensils?

"BoJack, how are your utensils?"

BoJack Horseman

- Uh, they're fine. - Are you sure?

"- Uh, they're fine. - Are you sure?"

BoJack Horseman

I got another that you left in my back 20 years ago.

"I got another that you left in my back 20 years ago."

BoJack Horseman

Could have seen that coming.

"Could have seen that coming."

BoJack Horseman

Who asks about utensils?

"Who asks about utensils?"

BoJack Horseman

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom."

BoJack Horseman

Nope. No, you are not.

"Nope. No, you are not."

BoJack Horseman

Uh.

"Uh."

BoJack Horseman

Oh. Ow. Almost.

"Oh. Ow. Almost."

BoJack Horseman

- Drive, drive, drive! - Oh. Oh, no.

"- Drive, drive, drive! - Oh. Oh, no."

BoJack Horseman

I mean, it's more like a 300-point turn.

"I mean, it's more like a 300-point turn."

BoJack Horseman

Hey, we've got two sacks

"Hey, we've got two sacks"

BoJack Horseman

of Kardashian swag and the fuzz on our heels.

"of Kardashian swag and the fuzz on our heels."

BoJack Horseman

Drive the goddamn car!

"Drive the goddamn car!"

BoJack Horseman

is that your Vitamix?

"is that your Vitamix?"

BoJack Horseman

I wonder if you guys have

"I wonder if you guys have"

BoJack Horseman

strong opinions about it one way or the other.

"strong opinions about it one way or the other."

BoJack Horseman

Well, the stupid thing was like 600 bucks.

"Well, the stupid thing was like 600 bucks."

BoJack Horseman

- So who's it for? - Exactly.

"- So who's it for? - Exactly."

BoJack Horseman

What is so great about liquids?

"What is so great about liquids?"

BoJack Horseman

Every article I read now is "juice this" and "juice that."

"Every article I read now is "juice this" and "juice that.""

BoJack Horseman

You know why? Juice controls the media.

"You know why? Juice controls the media."

BoJack Horseman

Hey-ooh.

"Hey-ooh."

BoJack Horseman

Uh, I'm going as fast as I can.

"Uh, I'm going as fast as I can."

BoJack Horseman

No, I think I'm almost there.

"No, I think I'm almost there."

BoJack Horseman

Kenzie, stop talking to him.

"Kenzie, stop talking to him."

BoJack Horseman

Why? He's being nice.

"Why? He's being nice."

BoJack Horseman

Remember the number one rule

"Remember the number one rule"

BoJack Horseman

of the Celebrity Stealing Club...

"of the Celebrity Stealing Club..."

BoJack Horseman

That's your rule for every club.

"That's your rule for every club."

BoJack Horseman

Whoa. Whoa, guys.

"Whoa. Whoa, guys."

BoJack Horseman

Maybe we should take our masks off and actually talk.

"Maybe we should take our masks off and actually talk."

BoJack Horseman

Happy? I took my mask off.

"Happy? I took my mask off."

BoJack Horseman

Did you?

"Did you?"

BoJack Horseman

Because I think you're still wearing a mask.

"Because I think you're still wearing a mask."

BoJack Horseman

Oh, yeah. Many times.

"Oh, yeah. Many times."

BoJack Horseman

Did you think that I spent the last 20 years

"Did you think that I spent the last 20 years"

BoJack Horseman

a charity to bring clean water

"a charity to bring clean water"

BoJack Horseman

to millions of children in Sub-Saharan Africa.

"to millions of children in Sub-Saharan Africa."

BoJack Horseman

Oh, wow.

"Oh, wow."

BoJack Horseman

Yeah, yeah. We kept in touch.

"Yeah, yeah. We kept in touch."

BoJack Horseman

You should actually give her a call.

"You should actually give her a call."

BoJack Horseman

I'm sure she'd love to hear from you.

"I'm sure she'd love to hear from you."

BoJack Horseman

Exactly!

"Exactly!"

BoJack Horseman

Well, guys, I'm pretty beat.

"Well, guys, I'm pretty beat."

BoJack Horseman

And it was actually nice to see you, BoJack.

"And it was actually nice to see you, BoJack."

BoJack Horseman

You can see yourselves out.

"You can see yourselves out."

BoJack Horseman

be honest for once.

"be honest for once."

BoJack Horseman

You know, I act all cool

"You know, I act all cool"

BoJack Horseman

and sophisticated on the outside,

"and sophisticated on the outside,"

BoJack Horseman

but on the inside, I'm just Todd, you know?

"but on the inside, I'm just Todd, you know?"

BoJack Horseman

- ready to let my guard down. - Do you hear that?

"- ready to let my guard down. - Do you hear that?"

BoJack Horseman

- He's letting his guard down. - Let's get him!

"- He's letting his guard down. - Let's get him!"

BoJack Horseman

This... This just doesn't feel right.

"This... This just doesn't feel right."

BoJack Horseman

That's what adults do. BoJack, damn it.

"That's what adults do. BoJack, damn it."

BoJack Horseman

Is that what's bothering you,

"Is that what's bothering you,"

BoJack Horseman

- that you didn't bring wine? - You're right.

"- that you didn't bring wine? - You're right."

BoJack Horseman

because before you know it, it'll be too late.

"because before you know it, it'll be too late."

BoJack Horseman

Is this one of those things where we're talking

"Is this one of those things where we're talking"

BoJack Horseman

Ooh, you should get that looked at.

"Ooh, you should get that looked at."

BoJack Horseman

Hey, I wanted to talk to you about... you know.

"Hey, I wanted to talk to you about... you know."

BoJack Horseman

I feel bad about what happened.

"I feel bad about what happened."

BoJack Horseman

So you're apologizing.

"So you're apologizing."

BoJack Horseman

Yes. I'm sorry.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

BoJack Horseman

Herb, I said I'm sorry.

"Herb, I said I'm sorry."

BoJack Horseman

Yeah, and I do not forgive you.

"Yeah, and I do not forgive you."

BoJack Horseman

Uh... not sure you get what's happening here.

"Uh... not sure you get what's happening here."

BoJack Horseman

This could be the last time that you...

"This could be the last time that you..."

BoJack Horseman

No. I'm not gonna give you closure.

"No. I'm not gonna give you closure."

BoJack Horseman

You don't get that.

"You don't get that."

BoJack Horseman

with the shitty thing you did

"with the shitty thing you did"

BoJack Horseman

for the rest of your life.

"for the rest of your life."

BoJack Horseman

You have to know that it's never,

"You have to know that it's never,"

BoJack Horseman

ever going to be okay.

"ever going to be okay."

BoJack Horseman

I really think that we'd both

"I really think that we'd both"

BoJack Horseman

I'm not gonna feel better,

"I'm not gonna feel better,"

BoJack Horseman

and I'm not gonna be your prop so you can feel better.

"and I'm not gonna be your prop so you can feel better."

BoJack Horseman

Then why didn't you call me? Huh?

"Then why didn't you call me? Huh?"

BoJack Horseman

Look, I... I wanted to, but I didn't think...

"Look, I... I wanted to, but I didn't think..."

BoJack Horseman

You know what it was like for me?

"You know what it was like for me?"

BoJack Horseman

Sure. But you?

"Sure. But you?"

BoJack Horseman

It's not my fault you got fired.

"It's not my fault you got fired."

BoJack Horseman

I don't care about the job!

"I don't care about the job!"

BoJack Horseman

I did fine. I had a good life.

"I did fine. I had a good life."

BoJack Horseman

But what I needed then was a friend,

"But what I needed then was a friend,"

BoJack Horseman

and you abandoned me.

"and you abandoned me."

BoJack Horseman

I...

"I..."

BoJack Horseman

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