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Clips from The Office - Performance Review (S02E02)

"All right. Number one."
The Office
"What should we do to prepare for Y2K?"
The Office
"It happens occasionally. And, so..."
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"We need better outreach for employees fighting depression."
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"Nobody in here is suffering from depression."
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"That sounds serious, Michael."
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"Oh, okay. Well, yeah? Who wrote it?"
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"Tom? Tom."
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"Then, it is a joke because there's nobody in here named Tom."
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"Tom? He worked in accounting up until about a year ago."
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"Tom."
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"All right, next suggestion. Next suggestion."
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"Okay. Now, I don't know who this suggestion is meant for,"
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"but it's more of a personal suggestion."
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"Aren't the suggestions meant for you?"
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"Well, Toby, if by me"
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"then I would say that that is a very poor choice of words."
The Office
"Okay, well, you know what I am implying"
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"is that when we're on an elevator together, I should maybe take the stairs."
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"Because talk about stank."
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"Not that I would ever say something like that in public,"
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"and I never have, and I never will."
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"I just think it's something that we should all be aware of, okay?"
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"Now that we've learned this, let's continue."
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"See, this is good."
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"You need to do something about your coffee breath. Okay, no!"
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"You need to do something... Shut up, shut up, shut up, Dwight. Okay."
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"I don't think you people are grasping the concept of the suggestion box."
The Office
"Is that hard for you? All right. Well..."
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"Well, when you have coffee breath it's hard..."
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"I'll work on that."
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"Somebody put a piece of gum in there. This is not a garbage can."
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"This is the future of our company. This is not a place for gum, okay?"
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"Yeah. Who wants to come in on a Saturday?"
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"Yeah... What? All right. Next suggestion."
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"Don't... Okay, that's blank. Don't... Just..."
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"Put it... Don't sleep with your boss."
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"I can't... All right, please sit down."
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"I'm going to sit over here, you're gonna sit over there."
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"Why are you... Let me ask you this."
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"What, Michael? Where did you get your outfit?"
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"You're gonna give me this raise. I deserve this raise."
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"Yes! Yes! Yes!"
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"The least you can do is keep my salary consistent with inflation."
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"Yes! Why are you gonna give me this raise?"
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"Why?"
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"Because I'm awesome!"
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"I am awesome!"
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"Because nothing did, Michael."
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"I'm not gonna say anything more about it and I would advise that you do the same."
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"Look... Michael."
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"I am ready for my performance review."
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"Okay, great."
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"Your performance has been adequate. You may leave. Goodbye."
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"Is this how you've been conducting all the reviews, Michael?"
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"Do you want to talk now? Good. Okay, Dwight, leave."
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"Wait, I would like to discuss my raise."
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"Why on earth would we give you a raise?"
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"That is an excellent question. Thank you for asking it."
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"Let me bring up one word. Dedication."
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"I have never been late."
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"even when I had walking pneumonia."
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"I even come in on holidays."
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"You do? How do you get in?"
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"Very serious."
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"Okay, third wheel, why don't you do that? For instance,"
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"That was deer? Gross. Oh, God! You liked it."
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"So when we're done here,"
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"you guys could go over to the Antler Lodge,"
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"sample some deer, and talk about my raise."
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"What do you say, Jan?"
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"Okay, here's what I'm gonna do."
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"I'm gonna step outside, collect my thoughts,"
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"Okay, you just clear your head. Thank you, Dwight."
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"Look, I know it's your job, I know you have to ask,"
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"but I promise you I'm not gonna discuss it with him,"
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"And in conclusion, I think Lex Luther said it best when he said,"
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"Dad, you have no idea"
The Office
"Do you think Michael and Jan actually..."
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"I don't really wanna picture it. But thank you, Pam."
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"You don't,"
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"I don't think, come all the way back, you know."
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"Especially working together."
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"I'm heading back to New York."
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"Alan and I will conduct your performance review"
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"over the phone tomorrow."
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"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay? Good."
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"No, no, no, come... I just want to know why."
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"Michael, now is not the time or the place."
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"that we could have this discussion?"
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"Well, okay. What? Never? As in never, ever, ever?"
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"Never for me always means never, ever, ever."
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"It's your personality. I mean, you're obnoxious, and rude,"
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"And you were very sweet."
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"And you stayed up with me and talked to me"
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"No, I didn't. I was... I don't cry."
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"But I just am not in a place right now where I'm looking for a relationship."
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"Okay?"
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"So my looks have nothing to do with it?"
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"And that is all I needed."
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"I'm good. I can go home now."
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"Never missed a day, my ass."
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"All right, well, now I'm in a terrible mood."
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"All right."
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"Stupid."
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"I'm sorry. Oh, it's okay. I did learn it on the streets."
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"No kidding."
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"Oh, also it is Thursday, but Dwight thinks it's Friday."
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"No, we won't be discussing that, Michael."
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"are your concrete ideas to improve your branch."
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"And people could put in suggestions anonymously."
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"Address this when we meet again."
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"Okay, why don't we just step into my office?"
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"We're gonna go in here. Could we please go into your office?"
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"I'll get that. Oh, thank you."
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"I just sift through them every week"
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"Oh, that guy? That guy was weird."
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"You need to do something about your B.O."
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"And it's not an office suggestion."
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"you are inferring that I have B.O.,"
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