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Clips from NewsRadio - The Trainer (S03E03)

Mr. Green Chuckle, and all those crazy little... things.

"Mr. Green Chuckle, and all those crazy little... things."

NewsRadio

You get all the gym services.

"You get all the gym services."

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And that's my point.

"And that's my point."

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You read it.

"You read it."

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Maybe.

"Maybe."

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Okay, all right.

"Okay, all right."

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Thanks, but that's not really what I do.

"Thanks, but that's not really what I do."

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we're going to need to see a specific dollar figure.

"we're going to need to see a specific dollar figure."

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Yeah! I love mini-trams.

"Yeah! I love mini-trams."

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You'd saying you'd be willing to train Bill personally?

"You'd saying you'd be willing to train Bill personally?"

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Right-- Right down there.

"Right-- Right down there."

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can have you executed for using the wrong fork.

"can have you executed for using the wrong fork."

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Excuse me?

"Excuse me?"

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Yeah, it's an old business ploy. Uh-huh.

"Yeah, it's an old business ploy. Uh-huh."

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by-by eatin' like a slob.

"by-by eatin' like a slob."

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Oh, yeah.

"Oh, yeah."

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while I've been away, have they?

"while I've been away, have they?"

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That has to be a mistake.

"That has to be a mistake."

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Dave's personal file.

"Dave's personal file."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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Full extension and...

"Full extension and..."

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Yeah, I-I-I know, we've met.

"Yeah, I-I-I know, we've met."

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All right, let's go for it. What are we on? Five?

"All right, let's go for it. What are we on? Five?"

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All right, now...

"All right, now..."

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And Ted is supposed to be my personal trainer.

"And Ted is supposed to be my personal trainer."

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What did you find out?

"What did you find out?"

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Look,

"Look,"

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BETH: I'm sorry. Oh...

"BETH: I'm sorry. Oh..."

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Oh, no, Dave, h-he's from the Midwest,

"Oh, no, Dave, h-he's from the Midwest,"

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You're as American as apple pie,

"You're as American as apple pie,"

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No. No. Say it. Say " out."

"No. No. Say it. Say " out.""

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No. "House." "Pouch."

"No. "House." "Pouch.""

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Today I'm not so sure.

"Today I'm not so sure."

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So you're Canadian, eh?

"So you're Canadian, eh?"

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You don't, huh?

"You don't, huh?"

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I care a lot. All right?

"I care a lot. All right?"

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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Hey, buddy! Good to see ya.

"Hey, buddy! Good to see ya."

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Don't give me that song and dance. I want my money back.

"Don't give me that song and dance. I want my money back."

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Who am I?

"Who am I?"

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You're lucky you get to work 'em out on the radio,

"You're lucky you get to work 'em out on the radio,"

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Yeah, yeah, just give me my money back!

"Yeah, yeah, just give me my money back!"

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who came over on the Mayflower from...

"who came over on the Mayflower from..."

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St. Louis Cardinals.

"St. Louis Cardinals."

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and, "The life of the lion is perpetuated in righteousness."

"and, "The life of the lion is perpetuated in righteousness.""

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Bill, what is your point?

"Bill, what is your point?"

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It's okay if you're Canadian.

"It's okay if you're Canadian."

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For instance, my résumé says that I'm 23.

"For instance, my résumé says that I'm 23."

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Lisa? Yes?

"Lisa? Yes?"

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Bill? Mr. McNeal had to go get a rubdown.

"Bill? Mr. McNeal had to go get a rubdown."

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Do either of you belong to a gym?

"Do either of you belong to a gym?"

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No. Nope.

"No. Nope."

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Yeah.

"Yeah."

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[LAUGHS]

"[LAUGHS]"

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and four--

"and four--"

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All set?

"All set?"

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Mm-hmm?

"Mm-hmm?"

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Or what the capitals of Arizona, Arkansas

"Or what the capitals of Arizona, Arkansas"

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And you know, Dave, we all have our little secrets, you know?

"And you know, Dave, we all have our little secrets, you know?"

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sauna or shower privileges. And that is enforced.

"sauna or shower privileges. And that is enforced."

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w-we l-left Canada when I was 5 years old,

"w-we l-left Canada when I was 5 years old,"

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And three,

"And three,"

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DAVE: Okay, let's try this one more time.

"DAVE: Okay, let's try this one more time."

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You're not hearin' me here.

"You're not hearin' me here."

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ALL: Bye, Dave. Good night.

"ALL: Bye, Dave. Good night."

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so why don't you lie down right here?

"so why don't you lie down right here?"

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Canadian?

"Canadian?"

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I'm not a shock jock.

"I'm not a shock jock."

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Uh, anyway you want, buddy.

"Uh, anyway you want, buddy."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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All right. All right?

"All right. All right?"

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Let's start at the beginning.

"Let's start at the beginning."

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Anyway, I told 'em I want my check back,

"Anyway, I told 'em I want my check back,"

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I see a rainbow of national origins.

"I see a rainbow of national origins."

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where I can actually make money by working out there.

"where I can actually make money by working out there."

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Canadian spies?

"Canadian spies?"

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And you got hollandaise sauce. Yes.

"And you got hollandaise sauce. Yes."

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I guess I am.

"I guess I am."

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James Polk.

"James Polk."

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Well, that's all I needed to hear.

"Well, that's all I needed to hear."

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Nobody'd know the difference.

"Nobody'd know the difference."

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Things a little tight?

"Things a little tight?"

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Space on the mini-tram.

"Space on the mini-tram."

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Never mind.

"Never mind."

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Oh. Can I look?

"Oh. Can I look?"

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and y-your table manners are just fine.

"and y-your table manners are just fine."

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Oh, my God. Is that for real?

"Oh, my God. Is that for real?"

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See, I know it's poached eggs, right?

"See, I know it's poached eggs, right?"

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[SIGHS]

"[SIGHS]"

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Yeah, yeah, I guess, uh...

"Yeah, yeah, I guess, uh..."

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so it's really not a big deal.

"so it's really not a big deal."

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Or the bacon, as it were.

"Or the bacon, as it were."

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What's going on?

"What's going on?"

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I was afraid the other kids would think...

"I was afraid the other kids would think..."

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Mr. Shock Jock.

"Mr. Shock Jock."

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I don't care. Just do it.

"I don't care. Just do it."

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You poor thing.

"You poor thing."

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I have a few things I'd like to say.

"I have a few things I'd like to say."

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[DOOR SLAMS]

"[DOOR SLAMS]"

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Okay, we're gonna start you out slow.

"Okay, we're gonna start you out slow."

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is like a backstage pass to see the Garbagemen live.

"is like a backstage pass to see the Garbagemen live."

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The gold sells itself.

"The gold sells itself."

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Look at that, Bill.

"Look at that, Bill."

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Right around the corner.

"Right around the corner."

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Dave was in the chess club in high school.

"Dave was in the chess club in high school."

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Oh, l-l-look at this.

"Oh, l-l-look at this."

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What's this? Uh,

"What's this? Uh,"

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No.

"No."

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All right, then. Nice and easy.

"All right, then. Nice and easy."

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It is 10 days old.

"It is 10 days old."

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Sure, go ahead. Knock yourself out.

"Sure, go ahead. Knock yourself out."

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Mmm... Wow.

"Mmm... Wow."

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and now they won't give it to me.

"and now they won't give it to me."

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MATTHEW: Dave?

"MATTHEW: Dave?"

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I feel so naked.

"I feel so naked."

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I can't believe it.

"I can't believe it."

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He's still the same person.

"He's still the same person."

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Look, we have to be gentle.

"Look, we have to be gentle."

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I am?

"I am?"

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Is he? Wow.

"Is he? Wow."

NewsRadio

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