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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S03E03)

"Oh, man, I'm so sorry."
Archer (2009)
"Wait, really? And darn if I didn't, literally."
Archer (2009)
"You-- Wait a minute, why am I thinking you live in, like, Russia?"
Archer (2009)
"Duh. Right. Which by the way, you are totally rocking."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, that's just my huge muscles."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, ha, ha."
Archer (2009)
"Insanely. Wanna get out of here?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God, totally, but it has to be your place because mine reeks of ocelot piss."
Archer (2009)
"Damn it! I know, it's the one single drawback."
Archer (2009)
"Wait, doesn't ISIS have a safe house?"
Archer (2009)
"...I think I remember about you is just false memories."
Archer (2009)
"Because I get those a lot."
Archer (2009)
"And don't get all girly on me. Check!"
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: Hold the door! Hold the door!"
Archer (2009)
"No! Well, it's not a box of wine."
Archer (2009)
"Pam, let me ask you something."
Archer (2009)
"How can you just leave me here?"
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER : Mainly because I have an incredibly addictive personality."
Archer (2009)
"So just debrief yourself with the camera, and when I get back..."
Archer (2009)
"...we'll talk about the DNA test thing if, you know, you're still into doing that."
Archer (2009)
"Of course I am still into that."
Archer (2009)
"God, what's Russian for "duh"?"
Archer (2009)
"It's a safe house. Nobody knows where it is."
Archer (2009)
"My point is, if you're confident in yourself as a woman..."
Archer (2009)
"Well, yes, but-- But nothing!"
Archer (2009)
"...but you're not nearly as stupid as you look. Okay."
Archer (2009)
"Archer, don't talk, just listen. ARCHER: Why, what's up? What do--"
Archer (2009)
"...thanks to Cyril. Who has apologized profusely--"
Archer (2009)
"I swear to God, if he put as much effort into his job..."
Archer (2009)
"LANA: Right before Cyril blew his head off. What?"
Archer (2009)
"You son of bitch, you actually think you'll get away with this?"
Archer (2009)
"Obviously. Why else would I do it?"
Archer (2009)
"Am I?!"
Archer (2009)
"Which is obviously a relative term, but-- Uh, what are you doing?"
Archer (2009)
"With gas. Oh."
Archer (2009)
"Ah. And gas is not so bad way to die."
Archer (2009)
"...and find out if I am his real father."
Archer (2009)
"This, glad you asked, is a block of ice with a fork frozen in it."
Archer (2009)
"I am putting this fork-filled block of ice in this microwave oven."
Archer (2009)
"And no DNA left for papa test. Nope."
Archer (2009)
"Which hopefully, over time, will eventually drive Archer insane."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, no, no. No, this is a whole other awesome thing."
Archer (2009)
"Sterling, if by some miracle, this video tape survives the explosion..."
Archer (2009)
"...there is something very important I want you to know."
Archer (2009)
"First thing is, your shitter's clogged."
Archer (2009)
"Don't care, can't feel my legs."
Archer (2009)
"Second thing is, if you want me to keep doing you dirty on the down-low--"
Archer (2009)
"Then we are gonna have some ground rules. To wit!"
Archer (2009)
"He is, like, super strong, but then I was, like, floating toward this really bright light..."
Archer (2009)
"...and some guy with a beard. Jesus Christ!"
Archer (2009)
"Or Richie Havens. Nikolai!"
Archer (2009)
"JAKOV: And so, Sterling..."
Archer (2009)
"...remember, things are not always what they appear."
Archer (2009)
"Mother, come on."
Archer (2009)
"...but even my voice-mail pranks aren't that elaborate."
Archer (2009)
"Sterling, it's me."
Archer (2009)
"Uh-huh."
Archer (2009)
"Okay. Yeah."
Archer (2009)
"The man who might've been my father..."
Archer (2009)
"...just died."
Archer (2009)
"Awkward."
Archer (2009)
"...half-drunk and having amazing sex."
Archer (2009)
"Well, I wouldn't say amazing."
Archer (2009)
"What? Come on, you were pushing rope!"
Archer (2009)
"For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God."
Archer (2009)
"And/or my new hot tub."
Archer (2009)
"I think I had one more drink there."
Archer (2009)
"Green Russians. It's absinthe and milk."
Archer (2009)
"I'm bound up tighter than dick's hatband."
Archer (2009)
"Okay, jeez, I get it!"
Archer (2009)
"Well, I do."
Archer (2009)
"My problem, besides your snide remarks, is Nikolai Jakov, head of the KGB."
Archer (2009)
"Besides the stuff about Jakov, which obviously is what you meant, so--"
Archer (2009)
"...complicated."
Archer (2009)
"What with our work schedules and..."
Archer (2009)
"Or on the dirty floor in the elevator?"
Archer (2009)
"Then go prep the safe house."
Archer (2009)
"...you know what you're doing? I make you ass."
Archer (2009)
"Is win-win. Is it?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, God, just like Old Yeller."
Archer (2009)
"Duh. Are you telling me Barry..."
Archer (2009)
"Maybe the tracksuit?"
Archer (2009)
"No, I thought I'd just take all my things for a ride on the elevator."
Archer (2009)
"Barry!"
Archer (2009)
"Pam, don't take this the wrong way..."
Archer (2009)
"Jakov's intel is bad and Barry's got some sort of master plan that we're clueless about..."
Archer (2009)
"Barry doesn't wear a shirt."
Archer (2009)
"Ruins Barry's whole tracksuit vibe."
Archer (2009)
"And you say you got this from a KGB sleeper?"
Archer (2009)
"Who knows with you? You're crazy."
Archer (2009)
"Rationalizing my behavior."
Archer (2009)
"And afterward, if Sterling want, he can still get some DNA from my body..."
Archer (2009)
"Doesn't matter, ice can't tell time."
Archer (2009)
"Just uncertainty and doubt."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, but she says he took off after he-- Here, you tell her."
Archer (2009)
"Mother! Sterling?"
Archer (2009)
"Leave it. Just kidding."
Archer (2009)
"CHERYL: Orientals! Duh."
Archer (2009)
"Is long time."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, I guess when I was in the dreaded Lubyanka..."
Archer (2009)
"Well, don't take this the wrong way, but neither does anyone else."
Archer (2009)
"...and try to figure out..."
Archer (2009)
"So Nikolai has been dropping hints that he may want to defect."
Archer (2009)
"Really? This isn't your kneecap?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, again, relative term."
Archer (2009)
"Well, how do you think that makes me feel?"
Archer (2009)
"Sorry, had to go to the bathroom. Nothing unusual, just, uh, you know..."
Archer (2009)
"I'm serious, you are literally draining the life out of me."
Archer (2009)
"But after that, it's just snippets."
Archer (2009)
"How you gonna keep 'em Down on the farm"
Archer (2009)
"So when you say you assume Jakov got on that train to Siberia..."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, so... Hey, hi."
Archer (2009)
"...and now you, this traitorous cyborg..."
Archer (2009)
"Yes, yes, yes."
Archer (2009)
"You're already an ass."
Archer (2009)
"I don't know what happened. I mean, I kind of remember being at the wake."
Archer (2009)
"Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen."
Archer (2009)
"Not like you to get a hangover, sir."
Archer (2009)
"Whoo! I'm Pacman Jones! Come home with me."
Archer (2009)
"Who, Barry? LANA: What?"
Archer (2009)
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