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Clips from Dr. Ken - Dr. Wendi: Coming to LA! (S01E01)

"You know, what's there to be jealous of?"
Dr. Ken
"She's just a mid-level television personality"
Dr. Ken
"who nobody even knows..."
Dr. Ken
"Two birds, one stone."
Dr. Ken
"I didn't love you at first,"
Dr. Ken
"Dr. Wendi, hi, I'm Pat Hein."
Dr. Ken
"I'm the medical director here at Welltopia Woodland Hills,"
Dr. Ken
"and we would just love it"
Dr. Ken
"if you could do a segment on us."
Dr. Ken
"about the sad state"
Dr. Ken
"So, what are you doing here?"
Dr. Ken
"with the backpack."
Dr. Ken
"- And the crumb sweeper. - Yeah."
Dr. Ken
"Dave's turning out weird, huh?"
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, we're keeping an eye on it."
Dr. Ken
"We are shooting our last episode here tomorrow,"
Dr. Ken
"and I wanted to ask you to come and be on the show."
Dr. Ken
"We have a lot of doctors on as consultants."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, really?"
Dr. Ken
"It would be really great to have my big bro on."
Dr. Ken
"- I don't know. - You have to do it."
Dr. Ken
"You've always said that you dreamed of being on television."
Dr. Ken
"No, I said I had a dream in which I was a television."
Dr. Ken
"My mistake. I'm very sorry."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, I keep his dream journal."
Dr. Ken
"He was not a television."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, you guys, get ready"
Dr. Ken
"which one of these people has diabetes."
Dr. Ken
"Do you have diabetes?"
Dr. Ken
"A diabetes-sniffing dog?"
Dr. Ken
"I know. Incredible."
Dr. Ken
"You need Insulin, not Rin-Tin-Tinsulin."
Dr. Ken
"Fresh."
Dr. Ken
"That's because they haven't seen the show I saw"
Dr. Ken
"It was called "I Will Not Shower,""
Dr. Ken
"and it ran for way too long."
Dr. Ken
"- Have what? - The backpack."
Dr. Ken
"Molly, sweet, sweet Molly,"
Dr. Ken
"that was never gonna happen."
Dr. Ken
"in the middle of a pissing contest between siblings."
Dr. Ken
"Great parenting, Dad."
Dr. Ken
"Take away the tone. That's a compliment."
Dr. Ken
"I don't think Wendi was involved in that pissing contest."
Dr. Ken
"Just like today when she came to my office"
Dr. Ken
"and asked me to be on her show."
Dr. Ken
"How exactly is that big-timing you?"
Dr. Ken
"This is her chance"
Dr. Ken
"in front of Mom, Dad, and the entire world"
Dr. Ken
"to finally show up her high achieving, handsome, athletic..."
Dr. Ken
"If he had been encouraged... brother."
Dr. Ken
"Ken, admit it."
Dr. Ken
"You're jealous of Wendi."
Dr. Ken
"Jealous?"
Dr. Ken
"Wow."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, fine, if you're gonna make jokes to the lamp about me,"
Dr. Ken
"- don't do Wendi's show. - No, no, whoa, whoa."
Dr. Ken
"You know, talk down to them."
Dr. Ken
"and at some point,"
Dr. Ken
"you're gonna have to talk to her about them."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, whatever."
Dr. Ken
"This is like the second part of my dream"
Dr. Ken
"where Dr. Wendi is my doctor"
Dr. Ken
"and she takes me into the exam room,"
Dr. Ken
"Sorry. You're right."
Dr. Ken
"I... shrimp."
Dr. Ken
"Aw, hell, no."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, I'm just gonna tell them that you're ready."
Dr. Ken
"All right, now remember, the topic is heatstroke,"
Dr. Ken
"and if there's a dance break, we prefer that you dance."
Dr. Ken
"- Yeah, I'm not gonna dance. - It's okay."
Dr. Ken
"Ken? Oh, Ken."
Dr. Ken
"Just say something like,"
Dr. Ken
""Topia's" not a word."
Dr. Ken
"I want to introduce you to"
Dr. Ken
"Please welcome Dr. Ken Park!"
Dr. Ken
"to wear a hat or not to wear a hat."
Dr. Ken
"Well, I think we have to back it up a little bit."
Dr. Ken
"Heatstroke is a result of the body"
Dr. Ken
"- trying to regulate... - So, hats... good or bad?"
Dr. Ken
"but it's important to look at all the factors involved"
Dr. Ken
"in temperature regulation okay, so a hat it is!"
Dr. Ken
"what that tricky SPF number actually means."
Dr. Ken
"Uh, in order to prevent heatstroke,"
Dr. Ken
"one must identify the three main..."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, hats off to you, big bro."
Dr. Ken
"What?!"
Dr. Ken
"Look under your seat."
Dr. Ken
"- You get a hat! - Oh, my God!"
Dr. Ken
"Well, you can solve heatstroke."
Dr. Ken
"- Anyway... - Not if you're young, elderly,"
Dr. Ken
"or have a compromised immune system."
Dr. Ken
"Boom!"
Dr. Ken
"but we like to keep things light on the show."
Dr. Ken
"Uh, real medicine isn't light."
Dr. Ken
"People die on my watch every day."
Dr. Ken
"Yes, they do!"
Dr. Ken
"Hey, I do a lot of good on this show,"
Dr. Ken
"and people take it really seriously."
Dr. Ken
"then it's not serious."
Dr. Ken
"You just don't get it"
Dr. Ken
"because you're small and jealous."
Dr. Ken
"I'm not jealous of a doctor"
Dr. Ken
"who went to med school in the Caribbean."
Dr. Ken
"I mean, her diploma says,"
Dr. Ken
"A fully accredited medical school,"
Dr. Ken
"and I went there because I took a different path."
Dr. Ken
"Welltopia... where well meets topia"
Dr. Ken
"I asked you here"
Dr. Ken
"You know what I think?"
Dr. Ken
"You wish I was still a lost little 20-something"
Dr. Ken
"Of course not. You had lice."
Dr. Ken
"and I wanted to show it off to you"
Dr. Ken
"but because I thought I owed it to you."
Dr. Ken
"You bailed me out so many times."
Dr. Ken
"I didn't know you felt that way about me."
Dr. Ken
"I always have."
Dr. Ken
"So, everything you have is because of me?"
Dr. Ken
"Not everything."
Dr. Ken
"Wow, everything you have is because of me."
Dr. Ken
"Look, I'm sorry."
Dr. Ken
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