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Clips from Solar Opposites (2020) - The Rays That Turn People Into Various Things (S03E03)

"- Jesse, you're always annoyingly preachy about kindness."
Solar Opposites (2020)
"Teach us how not to be jerks."
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"- First lesson: say please."
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"- No, I'm the goddamn boss."
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"Put a dime in the "Know Your Place" jar, you snizz."
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"- Oh, this ain't gonna be easy."
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"- Hey, isn't this where we had our Shlorpian sexual harassment training?"
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"Who was the hot guy who ran it?"
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"Real strong shoulders,"
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"like cum gutters on the roof, know what I'm sayin'?"
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"- Listen up, maggots!"
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"I only have 23 hours to teach you some empathy"
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"before Parade Magazine judges this town!"
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"[ticks]"
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"This is a paintball gun that represents our sci-fi rays."
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"Repeat after me. I will not use this--"
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"[firing] [Pupa gulps]"
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"- I need more paintballs, woman!"
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"Please. [Pupa burps]"
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"[alarm blares]"
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"- Okay, Korvo. You're at a car shop."
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"And this mechanic's gonna tell you what's wrong with your car."
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"- This piece of cardboard shit thinks he knows more than me?"
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"JESSE: We're just gonna listen to him."
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"- You see, when the warning light goes on,"
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"that means there's a problem."
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"- I know what a warning light is, cocksnot!"
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"JESSE: Ah-ah-ah. Patience."
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"Remember, he's just trying to help."
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"This here's yer spark plug."
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"Ya want me to write those words down for ya?"
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"- Bitch! JESSE: Hear him out."
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"- That'll be $300."
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"[screams] [firing]"
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"[alarm blares]"
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"- Okay. Terry, you're in an Uber pool."
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"- Wow, how frugal of me. I'm growing already!"
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"JESSE: All you need to do is make it across the room."
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"- Okay, I see what's happening."
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"These Red Sox fans are gonna yammer on about Beantown,"
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"and you think I'm gonna turn them into chowda or some shit."
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"But joke's on you, kid, because I love Boston."
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"That's why I got a We Bought a Zoo Matt Damon tattoo inside my lip!"
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"So start her up, Jesse. Gimme your worst!"
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"CARDBOARD SOX FAN 1: Did you hear what happened at the end"
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"of Fast and Furious 10: 10 Fast, 10 Furious?"
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"- Ahh. No spoilers! Stop the car!"
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"JESSE: Stay calm and use your words."
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"- I heard Vinnie Diesel steals the Space Shuttle."
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"- Remove your mouths from your faces!"
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"- I couldn't believe they killed--"
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"- I will burn every last Dunkin Donuts in this hemisphere,"
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"you Guinness-blooded dem-apple havers!"
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"[firing]"
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"[alarm blares] [Pupa gasps, gulps]"
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"[whistling sigh]"
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"JESSE: Okay, we're gonna make this real simple."
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"Just order from the menu."
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"- I'd like a grilled cheese... please."
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"JESSE: That's the ticket!"
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"- Would you like mozzarella, American, provolone--"
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"[Yumyulack screams] [paintball gun fires]"
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"- Why would you do that?"
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"- Come on! Cheddar wasn't even in their top three!"
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"[whistling]"
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"CHERIE: Jesus. This was the prison level."
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"You can still see the tally marks on the walls."
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"Oh god, this guy only made it one day."
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"That's depressing."
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"- Well, prisons in the time of The Duke, yeah."
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"But now, it's home."
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"Come on! You must be starving."
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"- What the hell are we doing?"
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"Do I need to remind you that the last people we followed"
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"ate Joe Sanders?"
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"- Dude. That's the Janitor. He was one of the first people in the Wall."
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"- So?"
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"- So, he must know how to stop the mosquitoes."
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"- We did what we came to do. The power is on. Let's go home."
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"- And put my baby to sleep every night"
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"knowing that at any second a dumpster Dracula could suck her dry?"
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"Fuck that. Who knows how many there are?"
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"- Well, there's about ten by your feet right now."
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"[gasps, screams]"
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"[larva squeals]"
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"- How do we kill them all?"
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"- You can't. I'll show you why."
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"[Janitor whistles]"
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"- Hell no. Absolutely not."
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"No goddamn respect."
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"No one listens, fucking bugs spittin' on me and shit--"
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"- So... How'd we do?"
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"- You all failed miserably!"
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"- Uh, recount much?"
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"- Not one of you thought about another person's feelings!"
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"The Parade Magazine judges will be here in a few hours!"
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"[ticks]"
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"- Whatever. Who cares if we're not invited."
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"I say we photobomb these losers."
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"- Hard agree."
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"What if we turn everyone who was shitting on us into actual Polaroids?"
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"I can whip up a ray gun that will-- - Brill, Korvo."
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"- You leave me no choice."
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"I invoke Taro Nedgerton!"
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"[all gasp] [Pupa coughs]"
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"- You're banishing us?"
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"- A Shlorpian can only invoke Taro Nedgerton once in a lifetime."
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"You can't just willy-nilly invoke Taro Nedgerton."
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"- We did it the first day we landed and now we can't invoke shite."
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"- I invoke! [blows whistle]"
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"KORVO: Don't do this, Jesse! Please!"
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"AISHA: Banished Shlorpians must remain"
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"in the brainwashing room for a full solar cycle."
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"- A year?"
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"AISHA: Or until you assholes learn empathy."
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"- A year?"
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"AISHA: Commencing sympathy re-education in three, two--"
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"♪ upbeat music playing ♪ [all scream]"
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"KORVO: Why is a puppy friends with an otter?"
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"They don't share a habitat!"
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