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Clips from Mike Tyson Mysteries - Mystery on Wall Street (S03E03)

"Would you mind if I spoke privately"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"with my colleagues for a moment please?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Of course."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"MARQUESS: First place, math decathlon,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"first place, spelling bee."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Ah, Raji is a child prodigy."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Okay, let's get the (BLEEP) out of here. -Dad!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I changed my mind I like the first mystery better."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"This one has too many moving parts."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"One dude want us to get rent money,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"some other dude want us to go to the end of the universe."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(THUDDING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Ah! Oh!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Yeah, no. -(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, hey! I thought you guys left."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What? I said I needed to talk to my team."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Well, it's been about three hours."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, I'm sorry."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You know how long I needed to talk to my team?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You better watch that (BLEEP) attitude, Wall Street boy."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Remind me again. What was your mystery?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"So when we click the button that says, "Buy,""
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"the stock is no longer available at $30 a share."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"When you place an order, it takes about a millisecond from when..."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"MIKE: Oh, my God! I was right the first time."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"We should have gone to the end of the universe to save that little boy."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"That was the clear, obvious one to choose."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"It had all the elements of a good mystery"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"that my audience has come to expect."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"This shit? This is how shows get canceled."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"So, what is happening? Are they phantom shares?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Would you mind if we go outside to discuss one aspect of this mystery?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, my God!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Where the (BLEEP) are the stairs, man?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"PHANTASM: Buy it. Buy it now!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"It's done. Now may I go home, phantasm?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"So it's all there? $35 million?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Then, yes, Raji, I have no more use for you."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Where's my cut? -What cut?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"10%. To help you."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You said I could have 10% if I give you the algorithm."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(BLEEP) you! 10%!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I'm going to the end of the universe."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"But I need the money for my family."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"The house is covered in mold."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"So it was your algorithm that cheated the market out of billions of dollars."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Not some phantom orders?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"No, it was both."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Except they were not phantom orders,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"they were phantasm orders."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Hey, what's the difference between a phantom and a phantasm?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(SCOFFS) Oh, of course. Ask the only ghost in the room. (CHUCKLES)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"While we're at it, why don't we just ask David"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"the difference between a Hasidic Jew and an Orthodox Jew?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(LAUGHS)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Oh, I'm... I'm not Jewish. -Hmm? Oh! (HIGH-PITCHED) Oh!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(NORMAL VOICE) Oh, I'm so sorry."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I just... I assumed, you know?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Working on Wall Street, curly dark hair, prominent nose,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"abrupt manner and... I'm sorry, am I still talking?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Raji! What were you saying, dear?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"The phantasm said he needed the money"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"because the end of the universe"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"is the most beautiful place in existence."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And the real estate market there is incredibly tight."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"He kept saying how tight it was."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"He said he would need many, many millions even to get a dump."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"But he's going to be very angry when he determines"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"that all the stock purchases he made were in my name."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You see, I knew that I was possibly dealing with a very bad man,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"owing to the fact that he was a phantasm."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And that he was very angry all the time."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And that he would kidnap a young boy."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I knew it!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I (BLEEP) knew it. I didn't need to hear any of this shit."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, please!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Easy to say that after this little boy just explained the entire thing."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I mean, the whole thing is such bull-(BLEEP)."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Cover up, no cover up."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"It's just the shit that goes with being the world's policemen."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You know what I mean?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(SIGHS) Hey, wait a second."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"We are back here again? Weren't we in some Indian restaurant?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I remember smelling a bunch of curry and mildew. I'm..."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I'm hungry as hell. Have we eaten yet or..."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"PHANTASM: What do you mean there's a problem?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Insufficient funds? That's impossible."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I'll call the bank and straighten everything out."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"There's a higher offer? It's been accepted? Who made it?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Excuse me, sir."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Could you please remove yourself from our property?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What? Where am I to live?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"It's $1,900 a month."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Rent's due by the 3rd, otherwise it goes up."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And I keep making it go up and up and up until you pay."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"No dogs."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What's that mildew smell?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"LIMO DRIVER: That's paint. I painted."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(END THEME MUSIC PLAYING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries