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Clips from This Fool - F*ck the Rich (S01E01)

"Or donate any money at this point. Um--"
This Fool
"Truth is, I've always had resentment towards rich people."
This Fool
"I've never had any money."
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"The little money I do have, I've sunk back into this place"
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"and now I live in the van outside."
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"But the reason I do this is because"
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"I really, really care about helping people"
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"who have nobody at all to fight for them."
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"Literally, I would do anything for the people in this program,"
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"so you can hate me,"
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"but, uh, these people really need your help."
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"And I hope you can find it in your hearts not to punish the huggers for my behavior."
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"- Well, I mean, the truth is"
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"we deserve to be yelled at."
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"You guys can't even keep the lights on and we came here in a chopper."
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"- I mean, nobody should have a billion dollars."
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"It's just, it's-it's too much."
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"[Rhonda laughing] RICHARD: It's too much."
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"I don't even know how many zeros are in a billion."
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"- No. RICHARD: Right?"
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"- No. - A billion is like the opposite of zero."
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"So when you think about it, really,"
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"there shouldn't be any zeros in it at all."
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"- Well, I just want to tell you I'm sorry for what I said."
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"RHONDA: No, don't you dare be sorry."
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"We need to hear this stuff."
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"- We wanna hear from all of you,"
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"what you hate about us."
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"It's-it's good for us. - Yes."
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"- Let's-let's go. RHONDA: Come on."
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"- Julio, do you have anything to say?"
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"And, please, just let us have it."
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"JULIO: Well, um,"
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"I think you guys are nice."
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"Um, but I do kinda hate everything you represent."
This Fool
"RHONDA: Great. That's great. - I've heard that before."
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"RHONDA: That is really great."
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"Luis, I mean, you must despise us. Please don't hold back."
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"- Hell, no, I ain't a fuckin' hater."
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"I'll never pocket watch."
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"On the real, you fools are my idols. - Aw."
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"- Hey, maybe after I cabana boy for you for a while,"
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"we can become close friends."
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"- Well, that sounds alright to me, Luis Hernandez."
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"Okay. [chuckles]"
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"- Thankfully, the gas company hasn't caught on to us yet."
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"So dinner is still served."
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"RICHARD: Oh, look at it. This looks divine!"
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"RHONDA: Ooh. JULIO: Hope I got the right fork."
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"[laughter]"
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"- So I told him, "Why don't you take your stadium"
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""and shove it where the sun don't shine?"
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"I'm sure it's gonna fit 'cause you're such a gaping asshole.""
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"[laughter] - Wow."
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"RICHARD: You can't say that to a person!"
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"Um, you know, speaking of people with too much money,"
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"uh, how about we get down to brass tacks?"
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"RHONDA: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm."
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"- Um, how much money do you think you need"
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"to keep this wonderful place afloat?"
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"- Oh!"
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"A million dollars."
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"- A million dollars?"
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"I mean, I was thinking more like ten million."
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"[all gasp, laugh]"
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"- Ten million?"
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"- I don't know how much this all costs, but it's gotta be a lot, right?"
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"- You know what?"
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"Why do we make it an even 15, gumdrop?"
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"RICHARD: Fifteen million dollars."
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"- And for dessert, our famous cupcakes"
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"made by our very own huggers."
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"RICHARD: Oh-oh. - Enjoy."
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"- Yay! MINISTER PAYNE: Chef."
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"RHONDA: Oh my!"
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"RICHARD: I don't have my glasses. What does it say?"
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"- Oh, it says "Hugs Not Thugs.""
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"- "Hugs Not Thugs." - "Hugs Not Thugs.""
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"RICHARD: Alright. RHONDA: Mm."
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"- Hmm. I like that. - Let's do it."
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"Everybody, wave to the camera."
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"Everybody wave."
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"Great. And that's enough."
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"Alright. That's enough. That's enough."
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"You can both go. Thank you so much. Wait in the chopper."
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"- Wow, I-I just don't know what to say."
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"Um, thank you so much for your generosity."
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"I was wrong about you two."
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"- Wait, we haven't given you the money yet."
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"- You know, some people consider sweets a guilty pleasure,"
This Fool
"and we don't often indulge in dessert."
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"But my hubby and I, we have a guilty pleasure of our own."
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"- So, I mean, did you want to start telling them about our little thing?"
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"RHONDA: Yes, I do, Richard."
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"- Alright, let's go for it. - Okay, great. Great."
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"RICHARD: Alright, here we go. RHONDA: Okay."
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"[clears throat] So--"
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"I like it when he watches me have sex with poor people."
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"- I, um... I love it."
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"RHONDA: Mm."
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"We've just recently realized this is our little kink"
This Fool
"'cause he needs to be punished for his wealth."
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"Don't you, Richard? Yeah? - Yes, I do."
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"RICHARD: Um, you see, she's the mommy,"
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"one of you is the daddy,"
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"and I'm the naughty little boy who needs to be punished."
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"RHONDA: Mm-hmm. - Are you fools for real?"
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"RICHARD: of course. RHONDA: 100%."
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"- Now, the only thing left to decide"
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"is which of you peasants is gonna have sex with me."
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"- I fuckin' knew it."
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"- Hey, pick me. I'm poor as fuck. RHONDA: Hmm."
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"- I don't even have a bank account."
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"And my bed is actually a couch in my tía's house."
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"- No. You can't do this to us!"
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"- Okay, just get it over with, you fuckin' psychos."
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"Which one of us do you want?"
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"♪"
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"- Trust me, alright?"
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"I might be short, but I got a lot of energy."
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